Hi New Here, daughter has AS, and wonder if we all do...

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Emmers
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31 Jan 2008, 3:22 pm

Hello....

I'm Emily and I have a 7 year old daughter with Asperger's. She is doing fairly well in school considering we have had 2 moves in 3 years. We are here to stay now, I think! I have focused all my energies on her for the last several years and it has been occuring to me lately that perhaps I might have AS as well. In my old diaries from school I was always lamenting the fact that I couldn't connect with other people, than no one understood me, etc. I never, ever have had more than 2 good friends at a time, right now I only have 2 long distance friends and I am quite lonely. I am always trying to find friends for DD, but it doesn't seem to work, and then I have to wonder if it's a surprise as I can't get friends for myself. I seem to make very good first impressions. I am good-looking (well, not so much any more, but I used to be :wink: ) and dress decently, so that always seems to get me in the door of social situations, but then people's interest in me seems to wane drastically, and I am on my own again. I defiinitely have issues with eye contact, and I mumble and words get jumbled up when I talk. I ask about other people, and am always offering help to other people, babysitting other people's kids without the favor being returned, happy to do it if only it would yield a friend. I do have virtually no long term memory, and my short term memory is shot as well. I am thinking of starting a journal so that my whole life doesn't just slip away from me. I can't recall movies I saw a month ago, or concerts I've seen in the last 6 months. My brain has shut off and it scares me. I am on no meds. Other AS-like (or maybe ADD-like?) symptoms for me would be:
*I have a hard time knowing when someone is joking, humor is hard for me
*I have no common sense
* my executive functioning is the pits.
*Mild sensory issues
*low muscle tone
*depression/formerly suicidal (pre-kids/marriage)
*lots of noise in my head, I can't get a clear thought in
*I have 19 projects going and none will ever get done
*very easily overwhelmed
*highly anxious
*there are probably more but that's all I can think of now

My husband says he is OCD (not dx, but his dad is), and one of my husband's brothers was dx schizophrenic, but they now think BP, and the other brother is OCD severely (to the point where I have known him for 14 yrs and I have never known him to have a relationship with another person), and possibly AS, and my husband's mom has depression and most ceratinly BP. So we have a lot going on on his side of the family. On my family no one is dx with anything, just a bunch of math/science teachers/professors, very smart, lacking social skills.

I have always thought that my dd's AS came from my husband's side of the family. But now I am taking a closer look at myself and I am not so sure. 2nd DD is now displaying major OCD signs (lining up like crazy, counting all day up to 100, extraordinarily rigid in every way, repeating her own words, etc) and she is only 3. I am sorry this post is so disconnected. That is how my brain works. I guess the point of all this is to say hello, give some background on myself, and hope that someone can tell me if it's likely that DD got her AS from both her parents, and should I be evaluated? Should we all be evaluated? Sorry to go on and on. I promise I won't do so in future posts! :lol:



Nan
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31 Jan 2008, 3:59 pm

one little comment, i'll leave the rest for others.

it's pretty damned common for school age kids, especially from age, oh, say 11, through young adulthood, to feel alone, isolated, as if nobody understands them, socially misfits, etc.

that's how there exists so much bad poetry, angsty music, etc. - ever see the movie "beetlejuice"? the daughter there is stereotypical. writing in her diary "i am alone... utterly alone...."

teen angst is a separate entity from aspergers. but i think everybody goes through some form of it or other, even us aspies.

welcome to the planet! look around, you'll find a lot of people to whom you might be able to relate



Emmers
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31 Jan 2008, 4:16 pm

Yeah, I get that. I guess my point is (and I was not very articulate about it) that I felt that way then, and I STILL feel that way. This is not teen angst continuing into my late thirties. This has been ongoing. It just occurred to me as I was reading the diaries that....wow, I felt that way then, and damned if I don't still feel exactly the same way now, and all the years in between. The thought has occured to me before, pre-kids, but I drank a lot back then and used alcohol as a crutch in social settings, so for years and years I never really felt in touch with myself. After I got pregnant, I stopped drinking so much, and focused wholly on my baby. Then focused on how I could help her as problems emerged. I haven't spent a lot of time in self-reflection over the years is what I am trying to say. Which is why I am just now making the connection.



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31 Jan 2008, 4:20 pm

Nice to meet you, Emily. :) 8)


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Nan
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31 Jan 2008, 4:26 pm

Emmers wrote:
Yeah, I get that. I guess my point is (and I was not very articulate about it) that I felt that way then, and I STILL feel that way. This is not teen angst continuing into my late thirties. This has been ongoing. It just occurred to me as I was reading the diaries that....wow, I felt that way then, and damned if I don't still feel exactly the same way now, and all the years in between. The thought has occured to me before, pre-kids, but I drank a lot back then and used alcohol as a crutch in social settings, so for years and years I never really felt in touch with myself. After I got pregnant, I stopped drinking so much, and focused wholly on my baby. Then focused on how I could help her as problems emerged. I haven't spent a lot of time in self-reflection over the years is what I am trying to say. Which is why I am just now making the connection.


you should talk with postpaleo. in the dino cafe. another thread in this section. you'll be pleasantly surprised, i think.

what you're writing is not unheard of here. welcome again to the planet.



postpaleo
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31 Jan 2008, 4:45 pm

Hi Emmers

Gads!! She's fast (Nan), types way faster then I do. Anyway..

I can connect with a bunch off what you're saying, more then a little. There are more then a few online tests around, should be links to a few here abouts. I needed help taking the damn things, except the last I did and struggled through that one myself. They should be taken with a grain of salt, but might give you an over all feel for it all. It is very daunting at times to figure it all out. I don't so much for the AS side of it, the Bipolar I still have to and the PTSD, well isn't much to do about it now, except like the bipolar, treat what can be treated and those are the disturbing parts about it and even those can't ever be totally washed away. (Complex PTSD, not the other) I went through a lot of misdiagnoses and they still won't consider the AS seriously, but that doc probably won't be there much longer and the councilor thinks I am..doesn't matter to me anyway.

The drinking/drugs, yeah that was me, self destructive life style, slow suicide too be sure, but and this is a big one, it got me through, I was self medicating. (Suicide is not a forbidden word here, a lot of us understand it all so very well and we're here to listen and suggest when it rears its ugly head.) Pleased to hear you've nipped the drink some. For some of us the drink is a good thing and it can be handled, I'm not one, but now that I've had this AHA!! moment and my life suddenly made sense, I don't really care to revisit it either.

We come in all flavors here, what I am you won't and be thankful. :wink:

Really pleased you found us and you have great attitude about those around you. See it really takes one to know one. Your daughter will benefit greatly just by you understanding yourself. She really stands a better then average chance of blossoming with out as much of our previous hurt. Bravo!!

It is fun here, it isn't all about work. Lot's of playground space and what we think of as play can be a lot different then most do. We can be ourselves. And I talk to much, give me a second and I won't. :lol:


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Last edited by postpaleo on 31 Jan 2008, 4:55 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Soon
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31 Jan 2008, 4:52 pm

welcome :D


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richie
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31 Jan 2008, 5:09 pm

Welcome to WrongPlanet!Image


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31 Jan 2008, 5:28 pm

Hi Emily and welcome to the aspie community...

I was diagnosed with Aspergers in July 07 and told have bipolar traits which I seem to have under control now!, but maybe that does explain my obsessive compulsive tendencies and anxiety... and there is more, just before that May.07 diagnosed with Dyslexia & Dyspraxia. Undiagnosed: I'm sure I also have/had ADHD when younger and still do (still very hyper). and have clutters a speech disorder, when younger speech was corrected, and then have/had lots of sight problems..

My older son has now been diagnosed with non verbal learning, and some of his traits I was told crosses over onto the asperger spectrum. Still hard to get 100% diagnosis and it is about right.

Anyway a lot of what your saying sounds quite like me in parts anyway. you may find my article interesting I wrote just after diagnosed Raising Awareness of Aspergers Syndrome (for more on me, profile etc.. can view my web site below):
http://asplanet.info/index.php?option=c ... &Itemid=67


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31 Jan 2008, 8:52 pm

Welcome to WP, Emily.


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31 Jan 2008, 11:49 pm

Welcome to WrongPlanet, Emily.

This place is like that scene in "Close Encounters of the Third Kind" where we all walked out of the Mother Ship finally knowing what the hell was up for the first time in our lives.

you'll like it here!

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01 Feb 2008, 12:20 pm

Welcome Emmers! :)


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01 Feb 2008, 2:43 pm

Welcome to WrongPlanet! :D


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01 Feb 2008, 3:16 pm

Hi and welcome!
You're story sounds so much like mine that it made me smile. I can honestly say I've been there, and still am.

I have 4 kids. My youngest son was dx'ed in February of last year. He's 13. I looked at my ex-husbands weird family first. And then it slowly dawned on me that it really came from me, and my dad, and my uncles. In April of last year my oldest son was dx'ed with AS, as well. He's 16. This led to my 14 year old son being dx'ed with ADHD and my 7 year old daughter and I being dx'ed with Inattentive ADHD, but we have all of the characteristics of girls and women with AS.

I have never felt like I fit in anywhere, and although people don't run when they see me coming, I have no close friends. My friendships always seem to follow the same pattern and generally end within a few months of starting. I have social anxiety and don't have the desire to do the social thing that other people do. And for the past year, I've been perfectly happy to be this way.

I did the drinking and drug thing before I was married and had my kids. It helped me to fit in. Once I had them, I turned my energy to them and stopped all of the other stuff, as you have. But I did have a nervous breakdown when they were small because I just didn't fit in with the other mothers, or adults in general and my ex-husband is extremely social. It took a divorce and living on my own to be able to accept myself somewhat. Even though I'm not dx'ed, knowing about Asperger's has helped me understand myself, and my children, further. We are happier than we've ever been.

This is a good place to be to learn about AS and talk to people who are, surprisingly, in tune with your experiences and challenges. I wish you well.

Lauri



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05 Feb 2008, 12:54 pm

Welcome to Wrong Planet!


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05 Feb 2008, 1:29 pm

WELCOME!!

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