Accepting compliments

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Joined: 16 Jan 2008
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07 Feb 2008, 11:16 pm

I think it's pretty common for people to take criticisms badly, but I have the opposite problem. I've been told that I take compliments badly.

Whenever someone compliments me I always feel really awkward and usually say the wrong thing. I can never be sure if they are being sincere or just trying to flatter me to make me feel better. And to me, false compliments are just lies.

Also, I'm a real pessimist, so even if I believe a compliment I often dismiss it, saying something like, "Yeah, I may be good at X but I'm still terrible at Y."

Does anyone else have this problem, or have any advice on how to accept a compliment without becoming an arrogant jerk?

sodarktheshadows
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07 Feb 2008, 11:21 pm

i used to be like this...i would be paid a compliment, and i would just deny that it was true, that the person didn't know what they were talking about, blah blah blah. to the point where it would almost turn into an arguement...lol!
then one day, my boss (at that time) asked me why i couldn't just accept a compliment for what it was, and why i always had to argue against it? i didn't have an answer for him, and he suggested that i just learn to say thank you and leave it at that. it took a while, but with some practice, i actually learned to do it. and now on that rare occasion when someone pays me a compliment i'm able to smile and say 'thank you'....
(still feels uncomfortable doing it though...lol)

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morning_after
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07 Feb 2008, 11:26 pm

NewRotIck wrote:

I used to. Or I also wouldn't respond at all.

I think a simple "thank you" usually suffices.

I actually try to be the type of person that pays other people compliments. Personally, I try to treat everyone a little like a prince or princess.

Last edited by morning_after on 07 Feb 2008, 11:36 pm, edited 1 time in total.

NowIthinkIgetIt
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07 Feb 2008, 11:33 pm

I like the TV character Monk's response, "It's a blessing...and a curse."

NewRotIck
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07 Feb 2008, 11:37 pm

NowIthinkIgetIt wrote:

I like the TV character Monk's response, "It's a blessing...and a curse."

I think I am Adrian Monk in a parallel life.

pakled
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07 Feb 2008, 11:46 pm

know what you mean. I get nervous when I'm praised (kinda feel I'll need to live up to that level of accomplishment from then on..

morning_after
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07 Feb 2008, 11:49 pm

pakled wrote:

know what you mean. I get nervous when I'm praised (kinda feel I'll need to live up to that level of accomplishment from then on..

I forget what I did, but I don't anymore.

NowIthinkIgetIt
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08 Feb 2008, 12:31 am

NewRotIck wrote:

I think I am Adrian Monk in a parallel life.

I LOVE him! I'm going to start a new thread about Monk!

hartzofspace
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08 Feb 2008, 12:45 am

I used to get all flustered, and find negative things to counteract the compliment, but now I just say thank you, and try to remember to smile. Half the time I don't believe them anyway. I guess they are entitled to their opinion, though.

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chocolate_kitties
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08 Feb 2008, 5:50 am

I have no problems with replying to compliments. I just can't give them to people and when someone compliments me, I always suspect they want something from me.

CockneyRebel
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08 Feb 2008, 7:32 am

I don't mind getting compliments. They make me feel accepted. It's better than being criticized.

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PaperCrusade
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08 Feb 2008, 8:37 am

On the rare occasions that I have been complemented I have just pretty much gone into shock. It would be funny if it wasn't so pathetic.

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Riddick124
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08 Feb 2008, 9:05 am

I know what you mean, when someone compliments me I get embarrased and just mumble, people think I am stuck-up because of this.

bear7699
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08 Feb 2008, 11:07 pm

i am a big pessimist, and hate giving or getting compliments I would rather everybody just be rude to each other

Brittany2907
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09 Feb 2008, 1:42 am

hartzofspace wrote:

Thats exactly what I do, still to this day.
I get uncomfortable when people pay me compliments and I instinctively try to deny that what they say is true. I have a hard time just saying "thank-you" and moving on with my day. It's not that I don't believe the compliments...but I just really dislike people saying them to me in public places, or even at all face-to-face.

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Dantac
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09 Feb 2008, 2:32 am

Brittany2907 wrote:

hartzofspace wrote:

100% agree with the above.

Many times the compliments are just from doing what comes naturally to me not from something i've put a huge effort into.. when that compliment comes in I freeze into the pattern of

'what are you talking about?'
'really?'

... the 'thanks' is so hard to slip in.. it just doesnt seem right to accept a compliment. When it comes from a client its even harder since im just doing my job and its so awkward to have people thank you for what you get paid to do in the first place.

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