The Oblivion Veil

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There's something I like to call the Oblivion Veil which I think is a sort of mental sheild to prevent me from going insane due to my lack of filter. Unconsciously, there seems to be this veil over my mind at times, which, instead of leading me to see everything that's going on around me; I see nothing. An alien could be tap dancing to Elvis tunes while spitting nickels into a bucket and I wouldn't notice it. It leads an opposite effect to autism where I don't see nor understand anything that's going on. The veil, however, can be easily shattered as soon as I try to concentrate on something (an exam, for example) or I get thrust in a fully uncomfortable situation like a crowd or the like.

Anyone else have this?

Yup. Happens at large gatherings for me. When I am just about to get overwhelmed I "escape" into a quite part of my mind where I can recharge for a few seconds.

Definitely. Happens a lot when I'm having a heated disagreement with someone. Everything just shuts down for the sake of my sanity.

Veil, yes, but more like a shield.

Image: if you picture the psyche like a garden, like some people do when they meditate, like they go into the garden and connect with themselves. Well, there are two people in my garden, one stands at the gate and keeps everything calm, the other one is busy and happy gardening.

When someone approaches (it could be me or someone else) the gatekeeper skillfully diverts their attention to some beautiful view elsewhere, or to their own needs, and the gardener is left at peace.

I don't know about a veil, but I have this weird thing where if people are talking about something like a memory, or an idea, or anything that involves the past or the future, and then it changes to the present (e.g. "right, anyway, what shall we do now?") it feels as though I was gliding on a parachute and then suddenly the cords were cut and I plummeted to the ground. Don't know if anyone else experiences that shock feeling when conversation turns? I tried to explain it to a group of people once and they thought I was mad.

Now I started thinking about this I have more to say.

I've been having an unusually difficult time recently (personal circumstances) and I'm more outwardly autistic than I've ever been. I have to calculate everything before I do it: not just social matters, but simple stuff. "Put your clothes on that chair." "Now it's time to brush your teeth." "You don't have to listen to the radio if you don't want to." "Now you're finished with that book so you can put it back on the shelf." (The "you" is me. I often think of me as she or you, like I'm frog-marching me around). I can do everything, I eat three times a day, I keep clean and look neat, but it needs thinking through.

And it makes the shield more visible: people NOTICE that I'm keeping them at arm's length (I'm talking sales assistants and librarians, you understand).

I think also just finding out about autism made me more autistic. More authentic as well, it's not a bad thing, but I don't have any illusions about myself anymore.

That happens whenever I get bored. But what I usually do is I wind up staring at some random object and then I zone out.

Veiled Interests Topic

In the old hippie dippie days we used to say Tune out, Turn on and Drop Out, or something to that effect. Except that some of us did not take the drugs that Timothy Leary did.

You are wise in that you do not use a chemical comfort to keep your sanity. I agree with this. I am glad you found something that works, as have others.

I can do this, too, sometimes. Perhaps not so voluntarily, and that can be problematic.

I did think that perhaps this thread was about the sequel to a video game though.

Heh, I'm pretty good with names like that... I think. Although Irisrises says it is a sheil, I don't see it more of a sheild but a think curtain you can't see through, but it breaks in a high tension place like a noisy party or when feeling anxious or concentrated. If I have to concentrate I tear away the veil else I have to read something 10 times before understanding. It's a total zone out.

I wasn't going to say anything... but me too

i have it.... what is really disturbing is when it gets lifted is sometimes when i could really use it the most, that is a meltdown day.

Yeah. It's like a barrier between my mind and everything else.