I think I have the calling (very Catholic thread)

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I think I have found my vocation. I think God wants me to be a nun.

Ever since I rediscovered my Catholic faith I have felt so whole, as if a higher reality, a higher ethics, a higher calling, is accessible to me. I need to dedicate my life to the service of other people, but without the excruciating paper-pushiness of nonprofits. I need an outlet for the kindness given to me by God. I need a community to belong to absolutely, who will accept me. I need a no-frills excuse to never have sex. I need routine and stability. I need my life to have meaning. I need to be, as strange as this sounds in this day and age, a nun. I have no idea as to which order, but I need to be a nun.

I dreamed of Hildegaard. She handed me a human heart, and I was happy.

I know I really have the calling because I'm suffering. I suffer from doubt of the ambitions and struggles of this world, including high school (especially high school). I suffer from fear of idealizing the convent too much (this is justifiable). I suffer from fear that I am too sinful to lead the life of Christ, too logical, too autistic, too happy or unhappy.

I don't know what to do about this. Having the calling is a weirder experience than it is made out to be; it is as if you are being chosen and not choosing.


Our Father, who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name. Thy kingdom come, thy will be done, on Earth as it is in Heaven; and give us this day our daily bread, and forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us, and lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.

I pray that God will continue to lead and guide you in your vocation. I am a Catholic Convert from Pentecostalism. It has also been a fulfilling expierience for me. I'm also still searching and seeking my vocation, so I'll keep you in my prayers.

MissPickwickian, if you've found your calling, what you need to do, I'm happy for you. I envy you, really. I've yet to find mine.

A nun? Odd, but ok. I think I can understand the issue of feeling chosen rather than choosing.

Hopefully there is no restrictions on Wrong Planet usage in a convent, we enjoy your insight.

That is very interesting; i was thinking the same thing just a few days ago. I too have found that belief in god has extraordinarily pervasive effects. As if lights are coming on in corridors that haven't been used for a long time, if ever. As if sun has come up and light is flooding the landscape, creating relief, dimension. ( and shadows too, which is interesting; stuff i hadn't even noticed how poisonous it was. Feels like Batman just arrived in Gotham City, and is starting an immense clean up )

I thought the Carmelites sounded interesting, especially the ones with a funny name meaning "unshoed", ( founded by Theresa d'Avila) ; their head-office site even has the initials OCD as a result, ( ) um, Ordre des Carmelites Discalced.
I like the sound of the contemplation, and silence.

Then I started reading about "becoming a nun" and i realised that it didn't seem so much like submitting to the will of god but to the will of the people running the convent/nunnery/order. And i got cold feet.

It would be really important to choose the right order in other words, founded by someone whose ideas of god and a life of faith match mine, and whose order is still being run along those lines. And at the moment i don't have that faith in humanity, ( or in god ? ) I checked out solitary/hermitage religious life, but this is pretty rare, and a solid/long experience with a church beforehand is pretty much a prerequisite, apparently.

I haven't ruled it out, just realised that it really would have to be the right order, and that i would need to believe in exactly what you said, about being chosen, for THAT one. I couldn't do it if it was still a question of weighing up the pros and cons of this or that order.

But yes, to me too it seemed to make sense of so much about me. A place for me. ( except i'd have to "wait" 7 years till son 16, but preparation might be good idea! )As i am. Except that as i say it turned out that "me" is still too wary of human run organisations, the idiocies of administrations and heirarchies. For instance i discovered that in the catholic orders of course all the nuns are still subsidiary to priests, to mens arbitration etc. This puts me off.

I would love to hear what happens, if you find an order etc. What you find out. Please keep posting about it.

Last edited by ouinon on 16 Feb 2008, 7:35 am, edited 5 times in total.

My being a woman seems to become a weakness in the context of religious vocation, catholic orders anyway, which i don't like. What i found myself thinking was " If i was a man".. Not a good sign.

I think i would be more interested in mixed-sex cloistered religious communities.

Are there any?

Just found one; the Anglican Order of St Benedict. It has a few mixed-sex communities.

Good luck! I hope you find a convent that will let you talk to us. It would be awesome to have a resident nun.

Incidentally, I was just reading a manga starring an ass-kicking nun today (Trinity: Blood).

I'll add my own best wishes to you in this. Two of the very few who number among those I have learned to respect the most in my life are or were Catholic nuns. One was my theology teacher at the University of Portland (Catholic uni) and the other is a dear friend to this day, and she works at the Pastoral Center in our diocese.

It's a worthy vocation.

Jon

I think it would be great to have a nun at WP.

I considered it a few years ago, but I'm not catholic and don't actually believe in the creed. Also convents are really prayer factories, the long hours of praying would put me off. I think there's ones that don't require that sort of thing, but eh I couldn't see myself becoming one anyway.

I think the nearest thing I ever found to what I would like to join is the Shakers, but they're pretty much defunct now, and not accepting any new members.

Another interesting thing I found when I looked into religious orders was that some of them actually go back out into the world and live in the world as plainclothers nuns, just live like anybody else.

I suppose you need to speak to someone about it, maybe they can give you some direction. I think you can stay at a convent for a 'look see' if you are interested, but yeah choosing the right one is probably tricky.

I also think there's probably lots of corrupt people in convents too, so you need to take that into consideration.

I think they often reject applicants who the deem to be seeking a refuge from the world, so I wouldn't emphasise that in your enquiries.

Let us know how you go, really interested to know.

i doubt god would ever say you're too sinful to follow him.

gl... i hope you can follow your calling. that's what life is about.

I'm very happy for you, and jealous. As a Catholic myself, I have never had a calling so strong as yours, though I believe He is pushing me to lay service. If He is asking you to dedicate your life to Him, do it. It's going to make you happy.

A week or two ago there was a movie on PBS about a woman becoming a nun, living as a nun, and then deciding to leave her order.
I wish I could remember what it was called...anyway it was very informative and interesting.
If anyone knows what it was called maybe you could post the name for MissPickwickian?
It was (in my view) a very balanced look at what it might be like to become and live as a nun.
The film is set in the 1930s, but I doubt the lifestyle has changed a great deal.

They had a 'reality' TV thing about 4 women who are allowed to stay at a convent for a month here. It was awful. The abbess was a godawful overweight control freak (behind the smiley faux-meek exterior).

It was a silent order so it was mostly the ghasty abbess who talked. It was one of those nothing but praying orders (except for a bit of vege gardening). I only watched the first two episodes (of 4), it just seemed dull.

but hey, i'm sure there's good ones too!

If you're going to be a nun could you post some photos of--

SLAP!

Owwww!

Seriously though, if that's what you want to do then go for it. I think it's a bit of a silly, selfish and pointless thing to want to be but that's a man with an opinion. Ignore it by all means.

Yes. These days they tend to set up monasteries and convents right next to each other, and the monks and nuns interact quite a bit.