Can a person on the spectrum ever be socially confident?

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sort of fall into that bit with the 'expected outcomes' situations. I don't go to parties, because I'm not invited. Tend to be rather quiet, but no one has a problem with that...

There are some situations where an aspie's natural talents are more likely to lead to contextual social confidence; aspies will also do better in more structured, formal settings in general. When an aspie has a socially sanctioned/appropriate chance to discuss one of their favorite interests, they are significantly more likely to show high social confidence than in a casual conversation that is mostly smalltalk or gossip. Aspies may be relatively more socially functioning and thus more confident when interacting with people less socially skilled than they are (e.g., with more low functioning autistics, people with global cognitive delay, perhaps small children, people who are outside their native culture/language, and even animals in so far as they can be considered social creatures).

I'm so socially confident that I don't bother socializing.

(I know I cannot, and it's beside the point that I don't want to.)

When in doubt i just model myself after mychildhood hero, Linda Carter.

I stand with a winning smile arms akimbo and imagine I look great in a sequined swimsuit.

Of course you can but it won't be easy but it can be done.

I can be socially confident, but it is sporadic, and only happens a few times per month. Once in a while, it is so extreme, that I almost feel super-human. It's almost like, I get a taste of what I desire most, social freedom. It never fails though, after a couple hours or days, I return to being my usual, anxious self.

I am improving though, as time goes by.

I am socially confident as long as I don't have to talk to anyone. If there's one-on-one conversation I dry up once the niceties have been disposed of. This has always been the case but when I was a teenager it was different because often enough people wanted a pretty girl to be there even if she didn't contribute anything substantial (some people get annoyed, but others quite like the control it gives them - I'm talking about female friends here, I didn't deal with boys).

I won't go into what it's like now. Could be better, could definitely be worse. One good thing about struggling is you have all the time in the world to smell the roses, so you appreciate the little things in life more than people who cruise through.

Personally I tend to do a fair job in the social realm even if you don't see me doing a great deal of talking I'm able to deal with others in the general manner.Atleast, I don't bother no one conversational wise as, I tend to keep to myself..


ProfessorX

I used to hardly talk at all in social situations.. unable to know when to enter the conversation or hesitant to speak for fear that what I would say would sound ridiculous. Nowadays, I sometimes start talking too much. Some people seem to be amused by me, others not... I wish I would just not talk as much ... I miss alot of the social cues.. Sometimes people are irritated with me and I don't even know why.. There's so much etiquette I don't understand or perform correctly either. Introductions are something that I hardly ever do.. I find remembering names unbelievably difficult. Often times, If I haven't seen someone in a while and I run into them out in public somewhere, I won't remember where I know them from much less their name.. sometimes I won't even recognize their face. More often than not, I'll recognize them but not remember where I know them from... and never remember their name... These difficulties all act to undermine any type of confidence I could have socially...

When I was younger, I had that benifit, but I've been hurt so many times that I've become extremely sensitive to social cues.

I'm taking meds for anxiety now and it's helped much more. You might want to ask your doctor about that. I still have trouble communicating socially and find myself stumbling on words but you can't cure Asperger's. You can always practice, sounds crazy but I took an acting class. Some people in my program suggested that.

What else would you wish? You can't make happy everyone.

This is not that serious fault, if you are otherwise friendly, you will still be liked.
You may drive someone to a doctor, because "that girl didn't remember me for the fourth time", but it is not your fault that they are not attractive enough to remember and let professionals to deal with their low self-confidence.

Maybe you didn't write some important point, or I missed it when reading, but it seems to me that you are doing really well.
Yes, it is less then perfect, when you do not notice that others are bored when you speak about your pet, but the very fact that others are willing to speak with you shows you do well.

LOL! Funny, dude.

MusicMaker1, your quesiton is something that's focused on quite diligently in some intervention programs. Self-confidane, social confidance and self-esteem are important issues and in our case, the pros have zoned in and tried to create opportunities that give him the most exposure so he can build upon social skills in school/home/society. Now, I'm not an expert but it seems like some of the programs they use for the elementary age kids may also be applicable to young adults and even older adults. The focus is to put the person in different environments and work through anxiety or distraction issues and have the person manage his/her presence there, feel more comfortalble, and interact within the environment. It's all trial and error. Lots of patience and time. But, for many kids, learning these skills is a hefty part of their intervention program. I do think that social confidance can be gained. Yes.

But, how does one achieve that as an adult? I would invest in social social skills books and be self-taught. I would expose myself to as many different social situations as possible and build up to the point where I felt in control or able to manage anxiety within those situations. You sound very ambitious and someone willing to go the extra step. But, I would first start with familiar situations and go from there. I'm throwing this out because this is how they've taught my kid. Some of these therapies they do for the kids are very effective and I don't see why older people can't use them.