Hi all,
I'm a female writer (wordish), late thirties, in Melbourne, Australia.
I've been reading about aspergers and it's like that's me! I don't know if I have autism/aspergers but here are the reasons I could have it: -
I find it incredibly difficult/stressful to communicate verbally - If I drink milk or caffeine my voice won't work properly
It feels hard to speak and when I do I can't explain myself properly or organise it
When people speak to me I can't seem to take it in alot of the time unless its something I'm really interested in
People end up patronising me because I can't speak properly!
Writing can be torture. I find it easier to work with factual data - I'm also in IT - because I know what the correct answer is and don't torture myself with getting it wrong as I do for writing. So I don't actually understand why I have to be a writer, but something drives me to do it a - weird I know!
I seem to have meltdowns especially at work - quiet for days then suddenly cry or angry. I've just resigned from another job today and have gotten to the point where I don't think I can work - well not with people and not in an office!
People drive me nuts. Not all people but most people. I feel exhausted after being with them. They definitely think I'm a freak. It's easier if they are writer's too.
I've always been different. Never fitted in at school. More easily at uni - when I could speak properly, but still hard
Difficulty making and maintaining friendships
Social anxiety my whole life which I've found ways to manage better as I've gotten older
Bullied and taken advantage of when I was younger
I don't gossip, don't b***h
I seem to be inconsistent in results at work and study - one moment it's 'brilliant', next it's what? How stupid/weird.
I think very differently from other people. Very detailed. Always factually see all sides, not just one which I think people interpret as lack of empathy.
Synaesthetic writing (read somewhere that synaesthesia was a trait for some aspie people)
Very philosophical when I was a kid (Tony Attwood in his book said this is trait of Aspie girls)
Food sensitivities especially casein, gluten and caffeine. One cup of anything with caffeine just kills me.
Find it hard to concentrate alot of the time. Fluorescent light affects my concentration. I work better near a window at work.
A bit obsessive - see this post!
Why I may not be an aspie?
I think I do have empathy for people (though suspect aspie's do have empathy, they just go about it differently). Have lost empathy as I've gotten older as I haven't received much empathy myself - sorry sounds angry, but is just factual.
I'm interested in lots of things - not just one interest - though overwhelmingly driven to write.
I managed to overcome some of my social anxiety by backpacking to really out of the way places though it's mostly been solo.
Don 't mind change though depends what it is and if I can control it.
I get jokes easily, though don't always find them funny. I prefer the one's that play with the literal meanings of words - but I don't take things literally all the time
Sorry for the long post. I've never told anyone this stuff before other than a friend last week. I'm kind of at my wits end and offloading. Don't know what to do about work. I'm thinking of going up to Queensland where I can be assessed by Tony Attwood or people associated with him because he has written about female aspies and I can't seem to get anything here in Melbourne.
Anyway - hope I've found a place here where I can chat/fit in. It's a great site. I wish it was around when I was a kid!