Talk like a pirate thread

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Arrr! Get this steering wheel out o' me pants! It's driving me nuts!

ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!

Oy, mateys!
Up on deck wi' ye!
I'm makin' th' wassail - it be cold 'ere!

ere's one recipe:

Wassail

1 gallon apple cider
1 quart orange juice
1 cup lemon juice
1 large can pineapple juice
24 whole cloves
1 cup granulated sugar
4 cinnamon stick

Combine all ingredients in a large saucepan, over medium heat, and
simmer 10 minutes.

Strain and serve hot. Refrigerate to store.

Makes 1 1/2 gallons.

this 'un ain't me secret recipe, which be a mite more alcoholic...
arright, boys an' girls - who'll drink wi' me?

was hail!

Aye, I likes to gets me some of that thar Wassil! Sounds mighty fine, I say!

Th' wind's blowing 'ard and cold 'round 'ere,
makin' me bones ache mighty bad
and me 'ead 'urtin' som'thum fierce, aye!

Aye, mateys,
methinks I should be puddin' on tho' thar fancy knitted bootys Is gots meself while ashore last.
Might keep me toes a wee bit warmer, I dar say!
If I ain't be wearin' 'em,
I's might as well be givin' 'em to th' rats to make thar blasted nests! Argh!

knitted booties?!?
oy, man, ye'll not brin those aboard this ship.

Have a cup o' this (hands Cade steaming hot, well spiked wassail) - you won't be needin anythin else ta warm yer toes!

arrright mateys. thets an awful lot o' brandy in thet waassshaill....
dinna mind if i take a little rest ri' 'ere.
You, Cade, mind th' pot, an' if ye spy a pretty lady wearin' gaultier, invite 'er aboard, but lock up th' gold firs....
mind ye, lock up th' go.........

Aye, Aye, Capt'n Jack.
Is be leavin' them bootys alone if yer goin to be a 'fussin about.
Methinks this 'ere ship's too small to be 'avin' th' capt'n in a sour mood, aye.

Is don't mind me mindin th' wassil and yer gold.
But don't y' be too surprised if ye come back
and find yer pot a wee bit dry and yer gold a'gon a missin'! Har har har!

And Is prob'ly won't be ey'in fer any purty lassies, y'hear!
Is like them hansum, strapin' men! Aye, me mate!

(rouses himself)
'ere, wot's this firs mate?
Ye be not willin ta find a little comfort fer ye cap'n?
get all th' pretty men ye like (but leave the Depp fellow fer Veti), but don' fergit yer cap'n!
not seein' ta th' needs of yer cap'n, why, thet's - thet's -
Thet's mutiny!
thet's............zzzzzzzzzzzz......

awwright boys an girls, sing along wi' me:
We're drinkin' an sitmmin' an' stimmin' and drinkin'
and drimmin' and stinkin'
and wimmen and thinkin' an........
an swimmen and dinkin...
zzzzzzzzz

Depp? Argh! Veti can 'ave 'im. The fishes can 'ave 'im!
Hes givin' we pirates a bad name, I say
why, prancin' about in them purty frocks and
'is purty hair cleaner than this 'ere deck!
What self-respectin' pirate would make a name fer himself like that! Har!

Oy, me capt'n, I ain't be not carin 'bout yer needs
I knows me place 'round 'ere
and I won't want y' throwin me down below
If I see a girlie to yer likin' Is bring her 'round
Har! Maybe Is should bring Depp's little French girlie 'round?
Maybe she 'ave a 'ankerin for a real pirate by now!

Aye, th' capt'n be sleeping sound, but this 'ere wasshail is makin me feels like singin me a jig...

"What do y' do with a drunken sailor,
What do y' do with a drunken sailor,
What do y' do with a drunken sailor,
ear-ley in th' morn-in'!"

ere, nae little french girl fer me. i'd be areared o breakin 'er. gi me a nice pirate wench, winsome and strong ta arm wrestle me under th' table an'
well? be off wi' ye! we're nae gitten younger an' th' brews gettin cold.
an' lass ? ye bin lookin at me crew. us cap'ns, now, we got a image t' uphol.....
's all aboot appearances. ye canna get a gal if ye stink.
oy! cabin boy! splash some water on me! gotta look presennable.........zzzzzz

arright boys an girls, cap'n jack be takin is nap now.....

Argh! First th' capt'n's all drinkin and stimmin
and callin for some wimmin
and now he's takin himself a nap
while 'is firs mate's all batten down th' hatches
and doin th' laundry!
Oy, I swear to th' winds, er capt'n's gettin soft as a rotter!

And fer that, I'll be sipping 'is ill-got brandy on th' side 'ere, aye me mateys.

Arr, but the crow's nest be showing me some land! Land at hand an' a village to pillage! Remember lads, pillage before burn, especially after sea!

oi. get me' some grog, boys. gotta be alart fer th pillagin'!

arright then, hoist th jolly roger, an all ashore fer findin th gold!