Are you treated as a homosexual, even if not, by NT's?

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I've noticed that all through my adult life I've been targeted by NT's as their idea of being a homosexual - has this happened to you as well and are we more likely to be so or at least effeminate/ forever Peter Pans, and is this where these numbskulls get this idea because of their fear and ignorance of anything different, including the inner life they deny in themselves?

Yeah. I don't like sports, don't have a girlfriend, don't have too much of an macho ego and have unusual body language so people occasionally make that assumption. I guess people may also make subtle signs that I just miss completely which can't help.

Most NTs think im gay cos i don't have a girlfriend but thats just plain stupid 4rm them.

I haven't been treated this way by people that know me well. People that don't know me very well, on the other hand... sometimes it's been brought up, but only because the people in question were buffoons unable to fathom why I acted the way I did.

I've been called a homosexual because I don't have a girlfriend and I consider women as equals and not as sex objects. I believe they also think that because of my less than macho demeanor.

Only once was I called a homosexual and that was by an obnoxious New Yorker who even for standards of that city, was stretching his nose too far.

I am a very sensitive person, and I dream of having a girl, but in reality, living where I live (in New Jersey), it's very hard.

I certainly love my life no matter who I am, and I love humanity.

Anyway, people look at me wierdly,but I am not gay, no matter how involved I am with gay rights.

Yes. It is very annoying.

People have even compared me to Michael Jackson(this I do find humor in as much as I detest it).

I currently have no desire for a mate. That lack of desire may change in the future, but just because I don't currently desire such, does NOT make me gay.

Rarely. It only came up during my teens when I noted that I had no interest whatsoever in the opposite sex. This was also true of the same sex, but I was picked on for it none the less because I wasn't performing my manly duties. For a while, I tried playing the Good Christian role, but I really couldn't tell any difference between praying and talking to any of the other hypothetical people that I used to chat with. After actually doing some valid research on the guy, I realized that the ones I made up tended to be better company. That ended, I started calling myself a "pansexual" because I realized that it wasn't really practical for me to make such a momentous decision at so young an age. For example, what if I had called myself a heterosexual, attempted to make a normal marriage, and realized only after several unhappy years that I had made a mistake? That happened to my boyfriend, after all. It's not something I wanted to do. What if I had gotten it into my head that I was a transsexual, gotten a sex change, and realized, again, that I had jumped to the wrong conclusion? Kids don't know what the Hell they want at that age, I knew it, and I wasn't about to settle on anything other than a purely explorative, experimental role. As with everything, I wanted to make sure that I was right before settling upon something that I would be committed to. Commitment is something that I treat very seriously, most of the time.

It did turn out that I was a gay man. However, I really found it offensive that a lot of these guys were giving me crap over being interested in their rumps when I didn't consider myself old enough or mature enough to be interested in anything except trying to succeed in school and succeed at life. I was never on board with the idea that young people should engage in reproductive acts before they're even old enough to deliver healthy children. Spartan women weren't expected to have their first child until they were about 18 years old, and this was unusual of Greek culture. Their progeny were warriors and conquerers, though, and among the bravest of Greeks. Ironically to the conversation, their downfall was a bunch of obnoxious fags who actually did have an interest in each other's fannies.

Frankly, though, my worst experience with this was just after I'd started the process of being discharged from Basic Combat Training (it wasn't a decision I made lightly. My immune system hadn't gotten any better since childhood, and I would have been nothing but a burden for the military. It's some kind of histamine imbalance, and it leaves me wide open to infections of every kind imaginable). Some fat loser had been making my life miserable, so I told him he was a ret*d fat-ass. The next day, the sergeant who was in charge of the company grilled me for an hour or so about what I meant by that. The stupid b***h was really convinced that I was attracted to that a**hole. That made it pretty well established that the DADT policy is violated all the time. In fact, it seems to be outright ignored. By the way, this was the same asshat who later raped the only person who'd said a single kind word to me from the minute I'd signed up. I still wish death on that guy. I hope he's miserable, wherever he is, and I hope the b***h platoon sergeant who gave me all that Hell, on behalf of that self-same ret*d, is pan-handling on the street. It's the worst experience I've ever had with homophobia, and it's one of the things that made me realize why it's childish and shameful. Now, to be perfectly honest, I wasn't on my best behavior during training. I'm an Aspie, and it's no work or occasion for me to say a clear and simple truth. I was self-admittedly still a child, and it's perfectly just to say that I behaved like one. However, here's another clear and simple truth: I am not impressed with what I saw of the U.S. Army. I saw and experienced many things during B.C.T., and this is only the second worst thing that I remember happening there.

Homophobia and prejudice against people affected with psychiatric disorders are equal in both viciousness and pointlessness. One of my best friends in the world had to drop out of school because his ADHD diagnosis left him subject to prejudice from both teachers and fellow students. He didn't get extra help, when it was realized that he was in need. They just set out to help put him down. People who engage in such prejudicial behavior should, themselves, be forced to have their heads examined, so we can find out what's so wrong with their minds that they can't internalize the idea that their cruelty is not something that is considered acceptable in a civilized world.

This has happened, sort of to me. A girl I was dating, hell I was living with her, asked me if I had tendencies as I was constantly flapping my hands at the wrist. This was before either of us knew that I was aspie. I was totally unaware that I tended to do that, frequently. I wonder how many others wondered and never asked....

Some guys that got to know me better asked if I was. I'm just not very good when it comes to flirting . It was strange but I did seem to get more friends that were guys than girls. I don't if that was my way to get closer to the opposite sex or what. Straight by the way.

That was a key problem in my first job. And it really pissed me off! Still does today. There is an underlying reason for it - but that is none of anyone's business.

I am heterosexual but sometimes some accuse me of being gay. I am not feminine at all, but I am not interested in having a girlfriend at this time at all. (Though in the future I would like to get married, and I have sexual desires, so I am not asexual, but i try to contain them since at my age they are useless.) Just recently a very attractive secret admirer who was absolutely in love with me (she literally told me she was in love with me) confessed to me. (Even though I barely knew her) I had a talk with her but I did not find her interesting at all, (not trying to be mean, just honest, though I didn't tell her that!) so I politely turned her down, and I wouldn't even go on a date with her. All of my friends were like, "she is hot, just go on a date!" I said no, I could care less if she is hot, and many seriously called me homosexual, which lightly annoyed me, but i figured they can think what they want, but it doesn't make it true.

Edit: I'll slightly rephrase my view, I would consider having a girlfriend if I actually liked her, but I am in no way actively looking for a girlfriend, and would never be "forced" into going on a date with a girl. But I wouldn't stop myself from liking a girl if it just happened naturally.

Last edited by TheAbided on 04 Mar 2008, 10:06 pm, edited 2 times in total.

Me homosexual! you are kidding. I dance far too badly for one for a start and have terrible dress sense. Say no more.

I get this alot. My obsessive nature means I have a very neat and stylish apartment for a male, mostly because I obsess over getting everything just the way I want it.

I never learned the aggressive male stance that most males seem to learn "by osmosis" with other males. I hardly ever try to escalate situations or challenge people directly because whenever I do that stuff I usually get figuratively beat up.

And, I'm realizing that I am literally a "Momma's boy" like I suppose a lot of Aspies are... I had more interaction growing up with my Mom than with peers, so I tended to learn her gentle communication style.

I think all of these things lead me to a sort of feminine posture that some mistake for gay and I'm right now trying to learn how to have more of an assertive male posture.

Like most Aspies I sometimes don't do the best job grooming, especially on parts that I don't notice myself. For instance I used to always let lots of hair grow on the back of my back of neck in between haircuts. Now I shave the back of my neck every few days. Now that I've realized I need to pay more attention to such grooming tasks I feel even more worried I'll be perceived as gay, but luckily the whole "metrosexual" thing seems to be a good cover.

The Poll sucks.



Anyway, I am way too homophobic to be called gay. I am not macho at the least, but I can't do many things with guys because I'd feel very uncomfortable. Movies? No. Dinner? No. Wrestling? No.

This doesn't include group hangouts ofcourse. I don't mind doing that, but if it's one on one, that would be very discomforting.

Hmm, I might get called metrosexual for my style in clothes. Never pink shirts though. That's absurd.

Many people out there always thought I was gay, especially when I was in Junior High School. I hated this and to this day I became self-conscious to the way I talk, move and act.