Any Senior/Adult aspies w/ financial management issues?

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Wimyum
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12 Mar 2008, 12:48 pm

My father is a senior citizen, whom I believe is an Aspie (he does not agree, despite having MANY of the characteristics).
My whole life (40 years) he has been terrible with paying bills on time (cut-off utilities from nonpayment), never depositing checks that have come in the mail to him. Now I've discovered he has not filed his taxes for the last 16 years (and cannot explain to me why).
As a result, his retirement pension has been levied to the point of the poverty-level; and now I'm helping him to try and get some of that money back.
He has always had hard time keeping up with his mail, particularly throwing things away when he has read them.

Is any this of affliction Aspie-typical?
Is there any sort of Financial disability common with Aspergians?
If so, is there any Aspie-versed medical professional (In the Boston area preferably) who could diagnose this?

Thanks for any help you may provide.



coyote
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12 Mar 2008, 1:21 pm

I am 40 and still struggle with all this.... even if i'm aware of the situation, even if i make "to do lists" nothing makes it, i'm constantly late with everything..... i would like too to know if this is Asperger, my take on it is that it's an attention deficit problem, but who knows ? maybe a mix ?....



nielsbot
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12 Mar 2008, 1:25 pm

I don't know it that's typical Asperger's behavior or not, but I had a similar problem I managed with bill autopay... Works great!

.n



coyote
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12 Mar 2008, 2:09 pm

bill autopay: NEVER!! ! I know a guy who has that... one month, the cable company made a mistake, they took 700$ in his account. He spent i don't know how many hours on the phone with them.... They never paid it back, they credited it on the next bills... that's all he managed to get.... and he had a couple NSF checks for which he never had anything. He's been answered by a laywer that he should sue them (2 NSF checks cost 24$! !).... anyway, you see the kind of things that can happen ?.....



iceb
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12 Mar 2008, 3:19 pm

I have on several occasions found bailiffs knocking on my door :(

I'm dyslexic and end up with heaps of mixed up unread (or read but not understood) mail.


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seadog
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15 Mar 2015, 2:19 pm

Yes i think typical because we get so over whelmed when trying to read and understand everything, so we just shut down and get depressed and feel stupid to ask for help. When we ask to repeat things, or ask to explain the info it sometimes sounds like a different language to us. Now, I just look people in the eye and tell them repeat, or change it up for me, they may get mad what ever. I forget so quickly, I may have remembered an appoint 5 minutes before it and i can totally 4get and miss it. I've gone to places and forgot what the heck i came there 4. Believe me, just help him through it and don't ask why, why, why, . I use my cell phone now and have to put 3 rings for one appointment, 1 hr before, 30 minutes before, 5 minutes before, etc helps alot. I also put the address in a line and phone number so i call just before for directions so its fresh in my head. The hard part was learning not to panick when i couldn't :D find the place, or i was gona be late, etc. Hope that helps.



arielhawksquill
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15 Mar 2015, 6:02 pm

This is caused by "executive dysfunction", which seems to be a common comorbid in Aspies.



f9
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15 Mar 2015, 6:08 pm

I'm just glad to know I'm not the only one constantly struggling with this … !
Thank you!



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15 Mar 2015, 6:22 pm

arielhawksquill wrote:
This is caused by "executive dysfunction", which seems to be a common comorbid in Aspies.


^^THIS^^


Not only do we have issues focusing on things we're not particularly interested in, we can be very prone to anxiety issues and panic attacks, and sometimes avoid things that make us uncomfortable, until the deadline for getting them done has passed, then get so upset about being late, that we just put it aside completely and refuse to deal with it. If you ignore a thing long enough, you'll forget about it and then it seems like it went away.

Personally, I have anxiety attacks sometimes over unopened mail, that I know to contain legal or government paperwork. I'm overwhelmed at the idea of figuring it all out and getting it filled out correctly, so I'll set it aside on a counter and put it off, walking past it for days or weeks, until I feel calm and composed enough to tackle it. Sometimes I never do. :(


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MjrMajorMajor
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15 Mar 2015, 6:40 pm

I've gotten much better with time. I have electronic bill reminders which is a must for me. It gives me daily bill reminders until I mark them as paid.



jk1
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15 Mar 2015, 11:01 pm

(7-year-old thread)

I have a similar problem.

I have a tendency to avoid/procrastinate on (perceived) daunting/overwhelming things (payments, resolving problems, decision making etc) to a ridiculous extent. I get stressed out and yet I can't take action. It’s not that I forget those things but I seem to be just paralyzed by fear/anxiety. As a result, I have missed opportunities, unnecessarily lost money and got even more unnecessary anxiety/stress. And one dauntingly huge problem that I have now could’ve been avoided if I hadn’t had this avoiding/procrastinating tendency.

I wonder if in the case of the OP’s (from 7 years ago) father, something like that is a contributing factor. Fear-/anxiety-driven procrastination/avoidance can be ridiculous sometimes.



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16 Mar 2015, 7:40 am

Quote:
(7-year-old thread)


I know.. is that typical for this place now? I have not been on here in a few years and I have been seeing threads that were active when I was. Weird.

Anyway...

Yeah, it is very much an executive functioning thing for me as well. It is not always my strong suit, for certain.

I very much relate to the mention of government/legal paperwork/mail. I almost lost my disability appeal over that several years ago. I found it ridiculous that part of what qualifies me for disability was part of what almost kept me from getting it. Thankfully I had gotten a good lawyer.


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kraftiekortie
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16 Mar 2015, 8:16 am

I've effed up in my finances a few times.

No bankruptcy, though. My credit score is okayish.

But I'm still in lots of debt--of my own doing.



arielhawksquill
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17 Mar 2015, 8:33 am

dossa wrote:

I know.. is that typical for this place now? I have not been on here in a few years and I have been seeing threads that were active when I was. Weird.


I think it's being caused by the "Similar Topics" recommendations that are at the bottom of every thread in the new layout. People click right into them without paying attention to the date.



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18 Mar 2015, 10:18 pm

I have had issues with it in the past, and it's starting to rear it's ugly head again.

I was notorious for bouncing checks. I still do it occasionally, but only when my back is against the wall, and I need something desperately, like gas for the car, or my medications. The family mantra was NEVER ASK US OR ANY ONE ELSE FOR FINANCIAL, OR ANY KIND OF HELP, OR WE WILL KICK YOUR F!CKING ARSE IN TO THE NEXT MILLENIUM!! ! IF YOU DON'T HAVE THE MONEY, THEN DO WITHOUT, EVEN IF WHAT YOU DO WITHOUT IS LIFE-SUSTAINING MEDICATION!! !! !! !

I have also had problems with credit cards in the past, and that issue is rearing it's ugly head again. Even though I have 2 unsecured cards with a $300.00 limit, I've already ran them up to the limit, mostly for fast food, gasoline and medications.

The one good thing about being on SSDI is I pay my bills on the third of the month. The bad thing is my money is pretty much gone by the 4th of the month, no thanks to paying my rent, a car payment, car insurance, medication, deductible for doctor's visit (I'm almost $500 in hock right now to collection agencies because of it, which will probably go even higher now that I have to have laser surgery to remove kidney stones from my kidneys.). Is it any wonder why I was constantly burning out when I was employed, since I was working a full time job, in addition to 2 part time jobs?



kraftiekortie
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19 Mar 2015, 9:25 am

If you are on SSDI, shouldn't you be on Medicaid as well--or at least some kind of state/federal subsidized health plan?

I would assume that kidney stone surgery doesn't count as "elective" surgery.