Does having children increase your overall happiness?

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I heard on the radio the other day that a study was done on the overall effect on happiness of parents when having children. The study said that the overall impact (the negatives being cost, stress, loss of free time) of having children was a decrease in happiness. Is that true for the mothers on this board?

As much as I love our son, I would definitely have to say my happiness has decreased overall. Or perhaps it would be more (or equally) accurate to say my stress and anxiety levels have soared and my depressions have reached new lows since becoming a parent. There are biological and experiential factors at play in my situation (as I guess is the case for everyone, right?) that exacerbate my emotional swings and anxiety attacks.

I don't blame my son for my issues. I CHOSE to become pregnant. And I chose his father quite wisely. He's a great father and husband - I am truly blessed.

But am I more or less happy now that I'm a mother? I don't think I can say I'm happier, overall, no. I adore my son (most of the time, haha), but I won't be having any more children. I simply do not think I am able to, either physically, emotionally, or psychologically - for me PERSONALLY. On GOOD DAYS, I feel just barely capable of properly caring for our son with AS/ADHD, much less tending to my own needs - I can't imagine having to split my energy and attention between him and another child. My hat is off to those who manage this, and do so while maintaining their sanity.

ETA: And I would have to add that I would expect that the added variable of having at least one child with "special needs" will necessarily add even that much MORE stress (in potentia, at least) than a "regular" (NT) child/family situation. Some of us deal with these added challenges better than others, and on some days better than others, I'd imagine. I know I've heard that the divorce rate among couples with children with "disabilities" is much higher than the already high rate for couples with "regular" kids. And let's not forget that many of us parents of these children also have our own neurological challenges/gifts/what have you to manage, as well.

I am 42 and have AS.

My son is most likely in the spectrum and he lives with his Mother. But I see him very often and speak with him everyday.

He has taught me all about love as he has taken me outside my place of comfort and into the world..................a place I do not really want to be.

My anxiety through trying to love him, has led to my dx.

Happiness.......................emmmmmmmmmmm, I would say joy, a deep joy, and a joy I would never had known without his love.

Hand in hand he led me to the deeper understanding of myself, as a man with autism, and like Jesus said, "a little child shall lead you"

I really love my kids and I am happy with them but
I think if you dont have kids you can be more happy as you can do all the fun things life brings which you cant do if you have kids (esp aspie kids)
I am a single parent though so that makes it more challanging and I cant get babysitters as my kids are too challanging and I have little money to get a specialist babysitter and my kids wont even let us do a country walk! Any thing they dont want o do they have a meltdown.
I think people paint a rosey picture of parenting and make out people are missing out if they dont have kids where as actually I secretly think you are quite lucky if you dont have kids. I do love my kids though so please dont give me a hard time! (another bad thing about being a parent is everyone hassles you about it!)

By saying you are less happy with life, this is not to say that you don't love your children.

I was almost certain that having children would increase happiness. But I am finding out from people I know that this is not the case.

The pursuit of happiness topic

I have been a parent for over 34 years and it is hard to remember when I did not have children. But I can say that these are the only family I have ever known to accept me unconditionally. I am happy and satisfied. I do not regret any parts of my life so far...all decisions made were to the best of my ability.

I am richer for having had my children.

I identify with quite a bit of that.
I am 44, AS/aspergers and have an 8 year old son, also somewhere on the spectrum. And yes, it is different from anything before. He is the only person that I have this feeling/"love" for.

Difficult, was very post-natally depressed. Wanted to abandon him almost every day, certainly at least once a week, for the first two years of his life.

He stopped me from running. The first time i have ever stuck with anything, apart from interests/obsessions.

I think that at some level it has assuaged a longing, because I haven't suffered the old existential angst since he was born. My body is satisfied, an important purpose has been achieved.

But NO WAY would I ever have another because it is so stressful and tiring and occupying.

Increased happiness? .... I think so, yes, because being/accepting/"coming to terms with being" a mother has massively advanced/deepened my self knowledge. I know things about my self that i might have avoided for ever if had not had a child, and found it difficult. ( If you had asked me 4 years ago, ...)

I think its harder when children are small as they prevent special interests as they are so time consuming but Im hopeing they will ease off as they get older.
But its our culture that sucks and makes having children so hard as they are not welcome anywhere and people always give unwanted advice and critism, not to mention the hassles of social services and education boards.
I think possibly the worse bit about having kids is the way you get forced into having to deal with people you dont want to (like education, soc services, toddler groups).
I have a fear of being rejected by my children too as so many people hate there parents and its a horrible weight to bare. I want them to love me back so much

I feel the same. I stay at home with my kids, and it is my niche, the one thing that I am good at. My kids are my special interest. Raising kids on the spectrum isn't easy, but then again neither is raising my NT daughter. I think I need to hire an interpretor, and someone to ask all those social questions that I don't know the answer to.

I enjoy my child, he is like a breath of fresh air in my life,
I go out to do things with him and watch him as he discovers new things
and I am able to reflect back to when those things was new to me,
I enjoy watching him learn and grow and its a damn good feeling knowing I had a hand in his development and growth,
its like hearing him count to five and knowing I taught him that, and seeing and knowing this is good.
watching him smile and enjoy something because I taught him how to do those things.
taking great cheer in watching him learn to use the potty chair on his own for more then one reason.
I could go on and on and on.
I enjoy knowing I am helping and showing him something that will help him through out the years even long after I am gone,
and that if I am really good, he will teach his own children someday with the good memory of me still in his heart.
he teaches me all the time as well,
he also teaches me to smile at the little things in life once again when every thing else seems such a lost cause,
he shows me there are more and better things to look forward to then one failed relationship after another,
he gives me someone I can care for and about that wont just up and go away.
and he shows me love in return.
he likes to copy me, I use this to teach him,
he loves to follow me around and do and try most everything he sees me do and try,
we are bonded at the hip and I love it,
I watch him and he is almost like a little me from when I was a child, yet at the same time he is a whole wonderful little new person,
but most of all, he needs me, I like and need that in my life, to be wanted and needed.
even if its just a simple thing as being a loving and caring father and daddy and friend.
I just wish I had tons more time with him, it truly would make a difference in his development and education and happiness.
and mine as well.
.

I've questioned this theory myself. I don't think I'd try it just to find out. I've seen some mothers act the opposite and it just makes me feel sorry for their kids. It does make me wonder though.

I'd say there's aspects to happiness the same as autism. I may not be as happy in terms of being carefree, but I'd certainly feel more fulfilled if I was spending my time bringing up a child.

I got to experience sort of the best of both worlds for awhile- my youngest sibling is almost 16 years my junior. I got to be sort of a second mother to her while I lived at home- I took care of her constantly, and developed a very close bond, but I was allowed to pass her off to our real mom at night and get some sleep. Plus I didn't have to deal with financial concerns as a dependent teenager.

Little Katie has pretty severe O.C.D. like her older sister, and can prove quite a challenge. I love being the one who can relate to her and know how to talk her down sometimes, but going through high school with a baby in the house was quite an educational experience- I am CERTAINLY not yet ready to take on a kid of my own. If I ever am, it won't be for a very long time.

Parents, if you want to scare your teenagers off the idea of having sex, make more babies while they still live with you.