my son can't or won't do his homework

Post Reply New Topic

Hi. I'm new. I have a 14 yr son w/ AS. He was diagnosed at 13. He's been going to a very good LD school for 4 yrs and is now in 7th grade. His IQ is slightly above average and he has always made decent grades. However, this year, he has pretty much stopped doing most of his homework and is now in real danger of failing 7th grade. NOTHING will make him change this behavior. His principle told him he may not be invited back to the school,
he knows he will either A: have to repeat 7th grade and spend 9 weeks in a SUWS summer program. or B: spend ALL summer in summer school. He doesn't have any trouble doing the class work but he chooses not to do the homework. Has anybody experienced this? Is this Asperger's? or a troubled kid acting out? We are at our wit's end

I would say troubled kid :/

Is there anything tramatic that has happened lately. Aspie kids struggle with any changes, so he may be acting out because of a change that's happening in school.

I would try talking to him WITHOUT lecturing him (he's probably had enough of that), and see what is the matter.

I wish you all the best, and I hope your son will motivate himself before it's too late.

I've got the same problem, I just can't convince myself to sit down and do the work. If you figure out a good method, please share it.

It does sound like Aspergers to me. I've had the same problem all through my life. I just can't help myself from procrastinating. I had some encouraging teachers in high school and i did quite well some of the time. I've started and stopped University a couple times now and each time I'm aware that I'm wasting my own money when i don't do the work, but i still can't do it for the entire semester. It really is a near impossible task. If I'd known i have aspergers years ago, I probably wouldve saved a lot of time and money. I can't speak from a 100% certain opinion of whether or not this IS aspergers because I've just diagnosed myself about 3 months ago and my appointment for diagnosis is late april. I definitely would not think he's just a troubled kid. I suspect that sometimes it takes an incredible amount of motivation and building of interest in a subject for him to desire to be like what is considered normal when he fundamentally doesn't understand the purpose in trying.

Of course children can make excuses to get out of work, but I wouldn't rule out that he can't help it if you are suspicious that this could be a possibility.

Have you asked him why he doesn't do it? What answer did he give?

when we ask him, he literally can't answer. He just can't give us an answer. Then he'll try to change the subject & get pissed off

I never did homework. It was problematic, particularly in hs, when grades actually count for something. I averaged a C... I test really well, but not doing homework really kills your GPA in high school.

College is a different story, since there is little homework...just tests and big papers.

My mom likes to use me as an example of how a kid with a lousy GPA can get into a good university. (I'm finishing 2 degrees this year, and a furiously finishing my honors thesis. Next year I start graduate study.) Good schools will look at more than your son's transcript. If he can finish hs, he'll probably do really well.

Which leads to, how do you get him to do his homework now, so that he can finish high school. I can only speak from my experience, which may be totally unrelated to your son. Personally, I hated hearing my parents tell me that i was wasting my potential. I felt that homework was a waste of my time, and that my time was better spent doing other things. Maybe explaining to your son that while homework is a pain, and might seem like a waste of time, it's a necessary hurdle.

My parents also really pushed me to do my homework on their schedule...right after school, in the kitchen, so that they could make sure I was doing it. This just pissed me off, and made me find ways to pretend to do my homework, while actually blowing it off. (Talk about time wasters.) Now that I'm away from home, I do most of my work last minute, or in the mornings. Maybe see if a shift in schedule helps your son do his work.

Ok, I don't know if that helps at all. I was a giant pain in my parents' metaphorical asses, but I was pretty self-aware even in middle school and high school. Like I said, my mom likes to use me as the poster child for bad student/troubled teen turned good. Please feel free to pm me if you want, because I know how much my parents struggled with me.

wow, that turned really long.