Why do women send mixed signals?

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KenM
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16 Oct 2005, 9:05 pm

Last year I met someone and we really hit it off as friends. We grew really close, but she kept telling me we were just friends, even though most of the time she acted like more.
One time we shared a passionate, deep kiss. The next day she tells me: "I know I kissed you on the mouth, but I did not mean it that way." :?: Then we started staying overnight, in the same bed, but even though she sleeps right against me, in nothing but her panties and one of my tshirts, she tells me "we are just friends, nothing more." I tried to get her to do more, just to get her in the mood, ect. but she stoped me. I did not want to push so I let it go. But she really got me going. This is also after I told her flat out "I have a problem reading people, I need you to be straght forward with me."
Why do women do this to guys? Why do they always send mixed signals? Why can't they be straght forward so things go smoother. I'd rather have someone be honest with me then keep confusing me like she did.
I had to break it off with her when I found out she was a heavy pot user.



hale_bopp
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16 Oct 2005, 9:26 pm

Part of the problem is alot of the guys are after relationships, and sometimes I just want to mess around and have fun.

That can't be done without guys expecting sex, so you constantly ahve to tell them nothing's going on.



Sarcastic_Name
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16 Oct 2005, 9:57 pm

hale_bopp, when I hear "mess around and have fun", sex is the first thing that pops into my head.

KenM, those are some really mixed signals, I don't know what to think of them. 8O I really have no idea why women are like this.


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Sanityisoverrated
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17 Oct 2005, 12:03 am

KenM wrote:
I had to break it off with her when I found out she was a heavy pot user.

Personally I would have encouraged her to get some tupperware- that stuff is lightweight and easily stackable. Heavy pots are a strain on the old oven mitts.



lowfreq50
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17 Oct 2005, 12:53 am

Wow, that woman was evil. None of those activities are for "just friends" relationships. Kissing and cuddling are all sexual in nature and cause sexual arousal... I'm sure she knew this. Thus what she was doing was very cruel.



hale_bopp
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17 Oct 2005, 4:51 am

Sanityisoverrated wrote:
Personally I would have encouraged her to get some tupperware- that stuff is lightweight and easily stackable. Heavy pots are a strain on the old oven mitts.


That is hilarious.

Quote:
hale_bopp, when I hear "mess around and have fun", sex is the first thing that pops into my head.


Having fun to me does not include some of the crap that comes with sex.



Absolute_Zero
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17 Oct 2005, 5:29 am

I received some mixed signals from a woman lately. She seemed to be a great match for me but then started throwing me off. Looking back at it, she is very confused and is hiding something. She announced she was asexual and could never be owned by anyone, told me that I had the wrong idea. This made me wonder if she had some major issues with other guys. I thought and thought about whether I was taking things too harshly and then figured, "f**k that sh*t, she's getting a blowout". So I set to work creating the nastiest, most hateful email I ever sent to anyone. In reality it was directed at all the people that I figured hurt her or messed her up. However, I aimed it right at her and think it did some major damage. After realizing that I got mad and set out to destroy all trace of friendship at all, I then tried to patch things up. I want to be friends because she really seems like a long lost sister, soul-mate or something like that. Women are wierd but they can be forewarned that if they play games with me, i'm not going to play back very nicely. I wouldn't expect for any guy to suck it up and take that crap.



Serissa
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17 Oct 2005, 7:40 am

I think she was the execption and not the rule. Women may send undecipherable signals but I don't think most of us are actually THAT confusing. If a guy did that with me people would think he was an a--hole. However when a women does that it's "being assertive." A relationship like that is not "just friends." It's either f---buddies, or a really open relationship.



ma_137
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17 Oct 2005, 7:48 pm

hale_bopp wrote:
Part of the problem is alot of the guys are after relationships, and sometimes I just want to mess around and have fun.

That can't be done without guys expecting sex, so you constantly ahve to tell them nothing's going on.


thats called yanking a guy's chain...U do that, hop in the bed with him in your panties and kiss him, then tell him nothing is going on, if/when he slaps you for yanking his chain or leaves you cold right there, I wouldn't blame him.



newchum
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17 Oct 2005, 8:32 pm

KenM wrote:
Last year I met someone and we really hit it off as friends. We grew really close, but she kept telling me we were just friends, even though most of the time she acted like more.
One time we shared a passionate, deep kiss. The next day she tells me: "I know I kissed you on the mouth, but I did not mean it that way." :?: Then we started staying overnight, in the same bed, but even though she sleeps right against me, in nothing but her panties and one of my tshirts, she tells me "we are just friends, nothing more." I tried to get her to do more, just to get her in the mood, ect. but she stoped me. I did not want to push so I let it go. But she really got me going. This is also after I told her flat out "I have a problem reading people, I need you to be straght forward with me."
Why do women do this to guys? Why do they always send mixed signals? Why can't they be straght forward so things go smoother. I'd rather have someone be honest with me then keep confusing me like she did.
I had to break it off with her when I found out she was a heavy pot user.


Many NT women and men for this reason seem to like "playing hard to get". If this is played on a Autistic guy, he often get's frutasted and annoyed.



KenM
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17 Oct 2005, 8:37 pm

The sad thing is that its been 6 months since we broke it off and I still have feelings for her. I'm glad we shared what we did and I hope Heidi is happy. But it would not work out becuase of her high pot use. But I want her to be happy, even if its not with me. I do kind of regret not sleeping with her and giving her the plessure she deserves, but she stoped me, so it was ok, right? :(



Sanityisoverrated
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18 Oct 2005, 3:35 am

KenM wrote:
I do kind of regret not sleeping with her and giving her the plessure she deserves, but she stoped me, so it was ok, right? :(

If she stopped you and you kept going, that could be considered rape, so yeah you did the right thing.



Legalgurl
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18 Oct 2005, 4:34 am

As a 35 year old single mommy and talking from experience...some women require attention, negative or positive...what she may have been doing to you is just getting the fill she needed to feel good, to feel wanted although not really wanting. She put it in your face, you bit and that was her orgasm...that's all she needed. Her actions weren't about your needs, they were about fullfilling her own....it's what you call low self-esteem. Next time you meet a women...get to know her first, I mean really get to know her before you even think about anything intimate. Also, if you have experienced it or realized it, some people take advantage of a weakness they see in others, be on guard about you and the people you let into your circle.

Good Luck...Matt's Mommy



KenM
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18 Oct 2005, 4:54 am

Legalgurl wrote:
Next time you meet a women...get to know her first, I mean really get to know her before you even think about anything intimate.

Good Luck...Matt's Mommy


We had known each other for about 9 months befoire we slept in the same bed. I thought I knew her, i guess not. Also when we did sleep in the same bed the first time, she asked me to sleep her her bed, she was the one that slept aganst me. Thats when I thought she wanted more, so I started to massage her back, ect.. She made me stop becuase I think she got too turned on and stopped me. One of the reasons I did not keep going was becuase she told me she was assulted many years ago. I never want to cross that line.



Legalgurl
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18 Oct 2005, 4:58 am

I guess sometimes you never really know someone or they only let you know what they want you too. Just be careful.



KenM
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18 Oct 2005, 3:50 pm

Thanks, Legalgurl.