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simplyhere
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04 May 2008, 12:25 am

Do all people with aspergers have a need to be alone a lot? And for those who do what is the reason for it if you don't mind me asking (I know I need a little alone time myself. . .but not a whole lot)



nomadic28
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04 May 2008, 12:35 am

Its hard to explain. Left to my own devices (I say this as I'm a married father and therefore get little alone time), I'd be by myself most of my day because I have little social skills, little desire to socialize, and too narrowly obsessed with certain hobbies or interests to care. I can go out with people I know, and have a good time for awhile, but eventually I realize my differences from everyone, or get anxious and want to retreat back to sanctuary.



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04 May 2008, 12:36 am

I need to be alone a lot.
But sometimes I crave social interaction. I don't know if I have it or not but I like to be alone because I am use to it and I like the quietness and it gives me time to pursue my very intense interest.



Josie
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04 May 2008, 12:37 am

nomadic28 wrote:
Its hard to explain. Left to my own devices (I say this as I'm a married father and therefore get little alone time), I'd be by myself most of my day because I have little social skills, little desire to socialize, and too narrowly obsessed with certain hobbies or interests to care. I can go out with people I know, and have a good time for awhile, but eventually I realize my differences from everyone, or get anxious and want to retreat back to sanctuary.


Thats a good one. I feel the same way on a few statements.



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04 May 2008, 12:39 am

I like spending time alone; I work in university housing, so sometimes it's not easy, but when I have a choice I generally like to be alone.

I also like to be around people who are doing quiet things.



simplyhere
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04 May 2008, 12:43 am

Would you get the same alone time type of relief if you were only with one person and it was someone you were comfortable being around and the two of you were just relaxing (or maybe cuddling if it was a bf/gf)?



amaren
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04 May 2008, 12:45 am

I like to be alone a lot because being social uses a lot of energy, and I need to recharge and relax. I do get lonely sometimes - after 3 or 4 days of seeing no one, I get a bit depressed and I need to be reassured that people like me, but I don't need to spend lots of time with them to know that, just a lunch or an online chat.


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nomadic28
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04 May 2008, 12:46 am

simplyhere wrote:
Would you get the same alone time type of relief if you were only with one person and it was someone you were comfortable being around and the two of you were just relaxing (or maybe cuddling if it was a bf/gf)?


Hmmm...I'm going to say no to this. Now, I can communicate better one-on-one than to a group, and I like having a good time with my wife as just the two of us, but I still gotta stay up after she goes to bed to get alone time I desperately crave. Dunno why.



nomadic28
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04 May 2008, 12:51 am

amaren wrote:
I like to be alone a lot because being social uses a lot of energy, and I need to recharge and relax. I do get lonely sometimes - after 3 or 4 days of seeing no one, I get a bit depressed and I need to be reassured that people like me, but I don't need to spend lots of time with them to know that, just a lunch or an online chat.


I agree with this too...acting "normal" (and I'm sure even some with AS could "act" like true A type extroverts if they felt up to it...for a while) takes a lot out of me. It seems the more extroverted I try to be, the more introverted I need to be in recuperation.



woodsman25
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04 May 2008, 12:53 am

Yes, I require ALOT of alone time. I had a roommate during collage and breifly when I moved into my new home and just hated it. I need privacy, peice, a place to escape, a place that is mine and I feel safe locking the door. In collage I survived as long as possible ONLY because I was surrounded by deep forrests and mountains, I spent so much time outdoors, but now I have my own home and vow NEVER to have a roomate as long as I live. I wont ever even let someone live in my house unless I have a child someday or find a good women. I spend the majority of my time alone, only during work or on weekends to I spend time with others.


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04 May 2008, 1:35 am

simplyhere wrote:
Do all people with aspergers have a need to be alone a lot? And for those who do what is the reason for it if you don't mind me asking (I know I need a little alone time myself. . .but not a whole lot)


I am alone most of the time, so I guess I don't ever feel the need to be alone, because being by myself is something that I always have. I spend the majority of time alone inside my bedroom.


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Brandon-J
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04 May 2008, 2:05 am

I would say that I need alot of alone time. My social skills are poor and I don't desire to socialize much. When I had a job and was going to school it just took so much energy physically and emotionally out of me. Trying to act normal at work and school was difficult. Even when I tried to socialize and hang out with people I would find myself being quiet and not having anything to say. Obviously knowing I was the odd ball out of the group I stopped doing it cuz i figured they was talking about me behind my back anyways.



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04 May 2008, 4:14 am

Although I seem minimally affected by many of the serious problems of people with AS I find gatherings of people oppressive. I hate and am afraid of crowds but enjoy one to one relationships when there are common interests. I find myself much more relating to animals than to people and intensely dislike the arrogant attitudes people usually display to animals, especially wild animals that merely wish to go about their lives undisturbed.



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04 May 2008, 5:20 am

I too prefer to be alone most of the time, but I also need someone special to include in my life so I'm not lonely. It's a paradox.



TheMidnightJudge
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04 May 2008, 6:33 am

Sometimes I find being among people boring. Sometimes I find it very good. Sometimes my mind focuses on something crazily and I want to be alone with my thoughts. Sometimes I feel profoundly lonely. And yet, I tend to doubt that feeling would go away if people were present.



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04 May 2008, 6:49 am

nomadic28 wrote:
Its hard to explain. Left to my own devices ..., I'd be by myself most of my day because I have little social skills, little desire to socialize, and too narrowly obsessed with certain hobbies or interests to care. I can go out with people I know, and have a good time for awhile, but eventually I realize my differences from everyone, or get anxious and want to retreat back to sanctuary.


I'm single and with no kids, but everything else is something I could have written! Still, I DO work. 8-(