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SabbraCadabra
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05 May 2008, 4:29 pm

I've read in several places that people with Aspergers don't show embarassment, I have no idea what they're talking about. I get embarassed just fine.

Or do they mean that we don't get ashamed over things that normal people would? I read an example that people will just throw their clothes off and not care, but that's definitely not me :oops:



2ukenkerl
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05 May 2008, 4:36 pm

SabbraCadabra wrote:
I've read in several places that people with Aspergers don't show embarassment, I have no idea what they're talking about. I get embarassed just fine.

Or do they mean that we don't get ashamed over things that normal people would? I read an example that people will just throw their clothes off and not care, but that's definitely not me :oops:


There have been times when I have NOT gotten embarassed over things others would and vice/versa.



skeeterhawk
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05 May 2008, 4:39 pm

I've always felt what I call embarrassment. However, lately I have begun to wonder if what I feel is the same as what my friends and colleagues feel. It is nothing I can put my finger on but just a sense that maybe I'm doing something a little different.

As far as the claim you read about not feeling shame and being able to throw one's clothes off, I've never felt anything like that. Shame is more than just heavy embarrassment. I think I feel the same as my NT colleagues when it comes to shame.



SabbraCadabra
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05 May 2008, 4:42 pm

skeeterhawk wrote:
Shame is more than just heavy embarrassment.


Well, maybe I chose the wrong word...I just felt kind of redundant using the word "embarassed" so many times in one post.



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05 May 2008, 4:45 pm

Uhh, people with AS get embarrassed.


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velodog
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05 May 2008, 4:53 pm

I recall blushing quite red as a kid and adults pissing me off by treating it as funny or cute. It didn't feel that way to me. :oops:



AngelUndercover
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05 May 2008, 4:57 pm

I get embarrassed but I don't think it's easy for other people to tell when I'm embarrassed. I don't blush, for instance.


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VioletClementine
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05 May 2008, 4:59 pm

I've found that I'm physically unable to blush [either that, or it doesn't show up; I have an olive Mediterranean complexion]...but I still get embarrassed. Quite often, at that.



Specter
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05 May 2008, 5:02 pm

SabbraCadabra wrote:
I've read in several places that people with Aspergers don't show embarassment, I have no idea what they're talking about. I get embarassed just fine.

Or do they mean that we don't get ashamed over things that normal people would? I read an example that people will just throw their clothes off and not care, but that's definitely not me :oops:


hmm, well I don't embarrass easily. And when I do, I don't blush, I get very pale

(and me getting paler is not a pretty sight, as you can see by my pic xD)


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Jeyradan
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05 May 2008, 5:12 pm

I embarrass easily if I am aware that I should be embarrassed (not, for instance, when there is a social cue I should have gotten and didn't... in that case, I get embarrassed when it is pointed out to me, even if it is much later on). However, I doubt it's easy to tell, because I don't think I react the way others do (no sheepish smile, no blush... I mostly just avoid and shut down briefly, or become overwhelmed instead of classically embarrassed).



SabbraCadabra
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05 May 2008, 5:19 pm

Jeyradan wrote:
...no sheepish smile, no blush... I mostly just avoid and shut down briefly...


I wonder if that's what they mean, that we just have a different way of showing it.

It never really occured to me that I was doing it wrong :roll:



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05 May 2008, 5:29 pm

I used to get embarrassed all the time. For years. The humiliation tortured me inside for a long time, more and more as more was added.



Willard
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05 May 2008, 6:08 pm

Jeyradan wrote:
Ifor instance, when there is a social cue I should have gotten and didn't... in that case, I get embarrassed when it is pointed out to me, even if it is much later on)... I mostly just avoid and shut down briefly, or become overwhelmed instead of classically embarrassed).


overwhelmed...accurate descriptive...it disturbs me tremendously when I feel I've done something to give others the impression that I'm stupid. I suppose that's 'feeling foolish', but it's far more humiliating than that sounds...comes with a heavy dose of self-loathing...and no, I don't think it's ever as visible to others as I feel at that moment...I usually just smile slightly (note: what feels like a smile to me, apparently appears utterly expressionless to others) or look contemplative and wish I could die right then and there.

Funny, though - that's when I cause it myself. When others go out of their way to try and embarrass me, I'm not phased by their antics at all. It just seems childish and rather pointless.



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05 May 2008, 6:13 pm

SabbraCadabra wrote:
I've read in several places that people with Aspergers don't show embarassment, I have no idea what they're talking about. I get embarassed just fine.

Or do they mean that we don't get ashamed over things that normal people would? I read an example that people will just throw their clothes off and not care, but that's definitely not me :oops:



I'm very difficult to embarrass. I often use it to my advantage. For example if someone cut in front of my in line, I will loudly say "Hey what are you doing cutting in line" It draws attention, make everyone stare. It doesn't even faze me, but leaves the offender wanting to hide under a rock.


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05 May 2008, 6:31 pm

Am frequently embarrassed-am agoraphobic, pessimistic, and afraid of what other people think of me.

Felt it less as a kid only because I hadn't learned about all sorts of things that would lead to that reaction. Still felt it then, just that in some ways my innocent ignorance allowed me to do some things I could never do now, be daring and/or foolish. As teenager, got harassed-so that induced paranoia about other people making fun of & being mean to me. Didn't know to fear people in that way until I had unsuccessful interpersonal experiences with my "so called peers".

Can be hard to figure out when emotion one's having is shame or embarrassment, know I've lot of both-feel ridiculous & painfully self-conscious even when alone (no one else observing me).

Also, now that I'm older, I have more life lived-actions, decisions, and statements in past that I have to defend or explain. When I was only a kid, there wasn't as much materail in total, (events I'd lived through) as well as fewer with potential for embarrassment (though it sure didn't seem that way then !) compared w/"adult" history/reality (decades' worth). In childhood, I was much less aware of many things & not responsible for what befell me. In adulthood, I'm more "set in my ways" but also have more aspects/features/personality for which I'm considered accountable (expectations of different ages, people are "supposed to" mature, improve, "do better").

Embarrassment feels awful, I'll leave it at that...


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06 May 2008, 1:02 am

I don't get embrassed as often as others but I do go bright red and blush sometimes since I was a child.