Aspie exploitation?

Post Reply New Topic

Has anyone here been exploited as a consequence of being an aspie? By exploited, I mean forced to give more than others normally give in some aspect or area, such as work, family, group of friends, etc.

hmm many times, to many to mention

Yes, my "friends" especially in high school exploited me all the time. Ive also been exploited by family members and previous boyfriends because im so naive.

Yes. I eventually found all those people annoying and quit talking to them.

My bosses are trying to get me to work nights and weekends, under threats of firing me.

I used to work nights often because I wanted to succeed, and I was new. So now they want me to continue working nights (plus weekends) but doing the work of colleagues that are on vacation / sick leave / out on work duty / not feeling like working / not good enough at a specific task. I told my boss I won't stay nights to do others' jobs, to which I was told I could take it or leave.

My employer has me doing electrical engineering and reverse-engineering work, and paying me a technician's wages for it. The engineers here often come to me with difficult problems to solve for them, and then they take the credit for the solutions. Yet when I have an original idea, first they ridicule it, then they sit on it, then someone will present it as their own and get credit for it.

I feel like a prostitute, in that nobody will admit to using me, but they'll line up to pay me for my services. And with the job market the way it is, finding another job would be like not so much more than acquiring a new pimp.

Expolited
-because people know I cannot say no
-people know I will work in my own time at night or weekends to get a task finished
-because I will give a straight logic based answer (and get the blame for not being politically sensitive)
-because I can do tasks others cannot

I know I am expolited because of the anxiety and stress I feel constantly when I am at work.

One day I am going to enjoy giving notice! I just cannot afford to at the moment - but I can dream of it!

A lot.

I would say yes, but not because people know I'm an Aspie. Very few people actually know, but many have figured out how to exploit some of my tendencies, such as being very kind and wanting to help. Both friends and employers have exploited my weakness in face to face interaction in order to get me to help them out, often at considerable expense to myself. This has led me to simply avoid people when I know they want something from me. I deliberately let my voicemail fill up so people can't complain about me not responding to their calls, and I do most of my communication through text messages. My real friends don't put me in these kinds of situations, where I give and give without any reciprocity. I've started to get a little more assertive since I started taking Trileptol, and actually quit my job of 3 years when a promised raise was not delivered. The funny thing with me is that I'm very averse to confrontation, and don't deal well with them, up to a point. Once that point is crossed, I lose sight of all consequences and get in peoples faces, threaten and coerce (I blackmailed my ex-boss with copies of his cooked books), and generally shock and awe my antagonist into retreat. It's so unexpected coming from me, that people don't know what to do. I can't say it's not effective, though for me it takes a while to come down off the adrenaline rush.

I was lucky my boss sent it to me in writing yesterday that he expects me to work regularly when I'm on sick leave and on weekends, so now if they fire me I can take them to Court.

People exploit me because they see I am able to enjoy some things genuinely from my heart. So they think if they threaten to take those things from me, I'll do anything to keep them. My sister and brother in law tried to exploit me in exchange for letting me enjoy the love between my nephews and niece and me. My ex "friends" tried to exploit my strong desire for genuine friendship. When I genuinely care or enjoy something, at some point someone will try to exploit me in exchange for not taking it from me. I'm a very bad exploitee, so it never succeeds for them, and in revenge they take away what I love. I'm the only one of the colleagues at work who is being threatened with dismissal if I don't work nights, weekends and holidays. The others are expected to work 9 x 5 and thanked for it.

I've been exploited in the past, but less and less as time grows on. When I changed to Wellbutrin there was a huge change - I've become way more intense and assertive. I've been told by friends that I'm actually a bit scary.

The wierd thing is, I still don't handle direct conflict very well, I just get overwhelmed and flustered, and just have to leave when I get too upset or risk having a melt down on the spot.

However, I still very often get my way, mostly through appealing to others to do my negotiation for me and blatent documentation.

What I mean by blatent documentation is creating a record of any exchanges that I feel that I may be exploited in a way that's obvious to the other person. So, in Fnord's case, I'd do stuff like carrying around a dictaphone all day, and recording little reminders for myself about stuff, including quick summaries of the details of work related discussions; the important thing is to do this about everything, so they can't accuse you of targeting them, but also to do the quick summaries of the conversation in an obvious manner so they can't miss that it has been documented. The next time someone steals your idea, go to someone else all concerned and say that you think that So-and-so may have used your idea and forgotten to credit you, and show them the person's report and the record of your conversation. If they agree, go on about how you're sure that it's an honest mistake, but you're a bit afraid to confront them, could you come with me? Then when I confront So-and-so, I act very concerned and hurt. The guilt plus the evidence plus the witness pretty much makes him cave, at which point I start insisting that he write a quick email to the boss to clarify the matter.

If you do this right, no one even gets angry at you. And if you do it often enough, ppl start respecting you - it's awesome. I love my Wellbutrin, even if it makes me pychotically passive aggressive