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pezar
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15 May 2008, 5:53 pm

http://www.youngentrepreneur.com/forum/ ... 32013.html

I am "byzantium" on that forum. This isn't the first time that I've been called super arrogant. For some reason, just talking to people "normally" (for me) will suddenly cause them to say "you're so f'n arrogant, don't you dare talk to me like that a**hole!" and I'm left to wonder what I did. When I try to explain myself they tell me don't bother, you're just arrogant and you need to be brought down a few notches the hard way. So far, I haven't been physically attacked, but I figure it's just a matter of time. I've been kicked off a couple forums however. I have no idea what I'm doing wrong, but need to know before I get shot for being a jerk.



polarity
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15 May 2008, 6:23 pm

I find one of the unfortunate sides of A.S. is coming across as arrogant, when in reality it's only confidence in one's own abilities. People with A.S. are frequently capable of more logical, rational thought than NTs, and our confidence in our abilities comes across as arrogance to people who can't understand what we are capable of.

I tend to let my abilities speak for themselves, rather than try and convince the uninformed that I'm more intelligent than them. Unfortunately online many can't be bothered to read everything you posted that factually backs up your claims, and the usual NT method of communicating (lying [edit: That includes straight out lying, as well as exagerating and embellishing the truth], and appealing to emotions) gives credibility instead.

It seems totally unfair to me that people who have above average physical abilities are acknowledged so easily, and don't come across as arrogant when they talk about their abilities, while intellectual people are looked down upon for expressing the fact that they are more capable.

What do sports people give to the world besides entertainment, while intellectuals actually improve people's quality of life with what they do?


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Last edited by polarity on 17 May 2008, 5:05 am, edited 1 time in total.

hartzofspace
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15 May 2008, 6:31 pm

polarity wrote:
...the usual NT method of communicating (lying, and appealing to emotions) gives credibility instead.


Wow. You summed it up so well. I have been trying to understand what, exactly, is the cause of the breakdown in communication between NTs and Aspies. And why, exactly is the breakdown followed by accusations and assumptions that have no base in reality.

Like the OP, I have been accused of being "smart assed," and/or of sarcasm, or even showing off, when I simply shared my area of expertise, or made a comment.


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Warsie
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15 May 2008, 6:31 pm

I had this happen when other Autistics called me that.
http://bbs.stardestroyer.net/viewtopic. ... c&start=25

hahahaha. old-ass thread


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Roxas_XIII
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15 May 2008, 6:36 pm

I've had that problem. Got me kicked off a few gaming servers. Actually even almost got me banned from Wrongplanet about a week ago. Of course, the only difference is that sometimes I can BE arrogant. It's a weakness that all humans have. It's jsut when someone is being nice and people start ricocheting accusations off the door that kinda pisses me off. But then again, a lot of things piss me off, it's another weakness of mine.


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slowmutant
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15 May 2008, 6:39 pm

Arrogance is what it is. If you're accused of it, maybe you should do some self-analysis.



megarat
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15 May 2008, 6:44 pm

I'll take a stab at this ... note that I'm trying to help by being objectively blunt.

I can see why you are coming across as arrogant. Because:

(1) Some of the things you say are hostile. Leave out the vulgarity and name-calling. Using the youngentrepreneur thread as an example, there's also a negative slant that's more subtle, which might be more difficult to remove. This gives your posts a very angry feeling. Hence the response to "tone it down a bit."

(2) You commonly phrase things with a stubborn self-assurance, as if you know the answers with apodictic certainty and any other point of view would be foolhardy. Even if you are correct in your statements, it generates an air of over-confidence (which thence leads to arrogance). But if those statements implode under scrutiny, then you come across as foolish yourself. For instance:

"Some people suck at record keeping; I don't. I agree that if you suck at financial stuff, you need to sit down with your accountant every few weeks. I can keep track of all that with Quickbooks."

I.e., this is likely being interpreted as, "I don't need an accountant, and if you do, you're an idiot." And correspondingly, this statement makes you appear foolish, because you are rejecting the wisdom that accountants as useful to anyone starting up a business, even though you might be good at the financials yourself.

And lastly, (3) In a purely written medium, there is less feedback for readers to get impressions from, so they tend to fixate on those that resonate most-strongly with them, at the emotional level. The items I mentioned above have a strong emotional resonance with most people, so they linger longer than the more neutral or positive messages in your posts and frame the sentiment of your words accordingly.

That's just one point of view ... I hope this helps,
-cam



Last edited by megarat on 15 May 2008, 6:47 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Roxas_XIII
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15 May 2008, 6:46 pm

megarat wrote:
I'll take a stab at this ... note that I'm trying to help by being objectively blunt.

I can see why you are coming across as arrogant. Because:

(1) Some of the things you say are hostile. Leave out the vulgarity and name-calling. Using this thread as an example, there's also a negative slant that's more subtle, which might be more difficult to remove. This gives your posts a very angry feeling. Hence the response to "tone it down a bit."

(2) You commonly phrase things with a stubborn self-assurance, as if you know the answers with apodictic certainty and any other point of view would be foolhardy. Even if you are correct in your statements, it generates an air of over-confidence (which thence leads to arrogance). But if those statements implode under scrutiny, then you come across as foolish yourself. For instance:

"Some people suck at record keeping; I don't. I agree that if you suck at financial stuff, you need to sit down with your accountant every few weeks. I can keep track of all that with Quickbooks."

I.e., this is likely being interpreted as, "I don't need an accountant, and if you do, you're an idiot." And correspondingly, this statement makes you appear foolish, because you are rejecting the wisdom that accountants as useful to anyone starting up a business, even though you might be good at the financials yourself.

And lastly, (3) In a purely written medium, there is less feedback for readers to get impressions from, so they tend to fixate on those that resonate most-strongly with them, at the emotional level. The items I mentioned above have a strong emotional resonance with most people, so they linger longer than the more neutral or positive messages in your posts and frame the sentiment of your words accordingly.

That's just one point of view ... I hope this helps,
-cam


Were you talking to me or him? Me I can understand, but I don't think I've ever heard (seen) pezar swear on the board...


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megarat
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15 May 2008, 6:48 pm

I was replying to pezar, and referencing his posts on the youngentrepreneur link. (One of my opening sentences was unclear, hopefully I just cleared that up.)

And reviewing the YE posts, perhaps "vulgarity" was not the best word to use, but "negativity". Saying that everyone sucks, calling people morons, etc. He might be speaking about hypothetical people, but it's easy for readers to feel that it's aimed at themselves, plus in heavy doses it makes the entire message come across as negative.

-cam



Last edited by megarat on 15 May 2008, 6:57 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Roxas_XIII
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15 May 2008, 6:50 pm

megarat wrote:
I was replying to pezar, and referencing his posts on the youngentrepreneur link. (One of my opening sentences was unclear, hopefully I just cleared that up.)

-cam


NP. I could take some of your advice though...


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SotiCoto
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15 May 2008, 6:55 pm

Some of us are entitled to be arrogant.

It is entirely too easy for an Aspergian to end up surrounded by mewling idiots who are incapable of baring witness to their own inferiority due to an overriding stupidity and egotistical natures of their very own. One can only have limited patience with such idiots, and sometimes it is necessary to rub their faces in their own incompetance until they see it or die in the process... so to speak.

Arrogance never hurt anyone besides he / she who displayed it.... so if anyone else complains about it, they're just being a snivelling wuss and shouldn't be given the time of day.



slowmutant
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15 May 2008, 7:02 pm

Case-in-point. That was a great demonstration, SotoCoti, of what we are talking about.



2ukenkerl
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15 May 2008, 7:03 pm

Pezar,

You came off as much MORE than arrogant, going by the first post from you I saw, and it is WRONG!! !! I just happen to have studied this stuff a lot, and am a person that went on to arguably one of the best ecommerce forums. THEY hated MY guts, but came to respect me. Anyway, you said:

Quote:
REALITY CHECK: The cost of starting a business

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Ok, I'm nearing the completion stage of my internet business, and I've spent quite a bit of money, $9,000 or so. For all you morons who think that you can start a business with $8 for your domain name, and then make millions, this is for you.


Actually, most people won't say it is THAT cheap, still...


Quote:
Here's the breakdown of what I spent, all numbers rounded. Note that I had to form a California LLC because California wants to make SURE that they extract as much money from you as they can, therefore it is a felony to incorporate in another state. I am moving to Nevada soon hopefully.


BULL!! !! You can start a company(proprietorship) under your own name for FREE!! !! You can start one(proprietorship) under a made up name for something like $80! It is NOT a felony to incorporate in another state, but they won't let that "foreign corporation" have a REsale permit unless it is ALSO registered in California. If you don't REsell anything at a higher price, you DON'T need a resale permit!

Quote:
$500 incorporation filing
$800 2007 California franchise tax
$1,400 attorney's fees to write employment contract
$200 accountant to prepare 2007 tax return
$800 2008 California franchise tax


One nice way to do a CORP, but it CAN be done for less, and doesn't NEED to be done!

Quote:
$200 to open business checking and savings accounts ($100 minimum deposit)


Again, you don't NEED it, and it can be done for less.

Quote:
$130 various municipal taxes and fees (the city of Sacramento doesn't issue business licenses, instead they charge you a tax on profits)


Some cities don't even require a business license, etc...

Quote:
$3,200 website building fees (includes domain name, secure site license, professional design, and a few other things)


GEE, This could vary from like $20 up to BILLIONS! You aren't being fair there.


Quote:
Then there's all the extraneous stuff:
$70 fax machine
$250 copier


Again, not needed, could be cheaper, etc... HECK, I bought a fax machine for about $70-$90 that is ALSO a scanner, printer, copying machine!

Quote:
$250 Access 2007


WHAT? NO ORACLE!?!?!? You aren't being very consistant here. Still, MYSQL is popular, faster, more compatible, and FREE!! !! !

Quote:
$200 QuickBooks 2008


Nice, but not really NEEDED.

Quote:
Not to mention the $1,700 new computer I bought so I could run Access and Word and QuickBooks. (I built it myself; I'm not about to pay $500 for some Dell made in China hunk of junk. My dad did that, and the computer died a year later after he put thousands into fixing problems caused when you have slave labor building computers.)


AGAIN, not NEEDED. Also, $1,700 today can buy a VERY nice computer.

Anyway, many HAVE become very rich by paying about $30 or so a month. Even ADVERTISING costs can be cut by using affiliate marketing. There was a little company I don't think ANYONE heard of until they opened up affiliate marketing and nearly EVERYONE had them on their website! Eventually, they had radio and TV spots. Their name? AMAZON.COM BTW you never included the hosting charges, or colocation fees!

BTW I am not saying you shouldn't incorporate, etc... Only that you don't HAVE to.

BTW I read the part you had later saying how you hate the scammers. Yeah, I heard about the scam where they MISuse the term OPM(Other People's Money)! In this case it is USUALLY using YOUR credit card. That means you tap into YOUR credit and have to make about 1% of what you spent every month just to REMAIN at the SAME level of debt. INCREDIBLE! SO, if you pay them $20,000, you have to make at least $200/month OVER your costs just to break even.

They CLAIM they can make you rich by having you sell a unique product on a single page website, and they want TENS OF THOUSANDS for that. You're RIGHT! They are IDIOTS guilty of FRAUD, and should be locked up FOREVER. This world isn't big enough for that kind of FILTH. Still, you should have addressed that better in the FIRST post.

I ALSO hate people like the F.K.(I don't state their names, but some here may know him. He is STILL considered a "GURU"!) guy that was actually sued by the FTC(U.S. Federal Trade Commission) because his claims were easily proven to be 100% IMPOSSIBLE! Not just untrue, but impossible to ever become true, and becoming less and less likely every day.



2ukenkerl
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15 May 2008, 7:23 pm

Warsie wrote:
I had this happen when other Autistics called me that.
http://bbs.stardestroyer.net/viewtopic. ... c&start=25

hahahaha. old-ass thread


Until you started getting angry when they said you weren't autistic, you handled that FINE! I thought, anyway!



15 May 2008, 7:23 pm

pezar wrote:
http://www.youngentrepreneur.com/forum/f2-general-business/reality-check-the-cost-of-starting-a-business-32013.html

I am "byzantium" on that forum. This isn't the first time that I've been called super arrogant. For some reason, just talking to people "normally" (for me) will suddenly cause them to say "you're so f'n arrogant, don't you dare talk to me like that a**hole!" and I'm left to wonder what I did. When I try to explain myself they tell me don't bother, you're just arrogant and you need to be brought down a few notches the hard way. So far, I haven't been physically attacked, but I figure it's just a matter of time. I've been kicked off a couple forums however. I have no idea what I'm doing wrong, but need to know before I get shot for being a jerk.



I think I know what you did wrong. You said "Morons" so that's what set them off. If I saw someone making a post and they used that word in it or any other words like"stupid" "idiots" "dumb" or any other negative words, I would have thought you were a jerk too but the rest of your post sounded good, not a jerk at all. I also read peoples' other posts and your replies and didn't see anything wrong with them.



SotiCoto
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15 May 2008, 7:32 pm

slowmutant wrote:
Case-in-point. That was a great demonstration, SotoCoti, of what we are talking about.

Aside from your apparent attempt at taunting me... do you really find it that difficult to get my name right, meatbag? Do you?
You're hardly the only one either.
So many people have mysteriously screwed up my name that I'm starting to wonder if there is some sort of global conspiracy to irritate me by doing just that.


Anyhow... When you spend as much of your life surrounded by people who lack the reasoning ability to deduce even the simplest of things.... "arrogance" is a perfectly natural and fully justifiable result. I would expect it to be unnecessary here.... but nothing is proven in that respect yet.


Spokane_Girl wrote:
I think I know what you did wrong. You said "Morons" so that's what set them off. If I saw someone making a post and they used that word in it or any other words like"stupid" "idiots" "dumb" or any other negative words, I would have thought you were a jerk too but the rest of your post sounded good, not a jerk at all. I also read peoples' other posts and your replies and didn't see anything wrong with them.

True that.
A lot of meatbags fail to see certain words as anything other than an essentially valueless ad hominem. It never occurs to them that someone calling them an idiot is doing it less to actually insult them and more to actually express to them that their mental processing capabilities are sub-par, and that it needs to be compensated for, or at least autoacknowledged.
As such, sometimes it is entirely pointless to call them idiots as... BEING the idiots they are.... they won't understand what is said and will just become hostile. Then again they're often the sorts who will become hostile quite randomly anyway due to one weird rhetorical impulse or another.... and sometimes the only thing to do is derive a little amusement from taunting them until their puny head explodes.