I have never been on a date. How do I attract a guy?

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I have never been out on a date. I know guys send signals out to ladies that they are interested in, but I don't know what they are. Or if guys have been actually sending out signals at all.

I am 28, I have shoulder-length slightly curly light brown hair, and grey blue eyes. I am 5'0", but I am unsure of my weight. (the scale we have is not very accurate)

I like Star Wars and Transformers.

I don't wear makeup, and I wear glasses. My eyes are Oriental looking, and I have a big butt. But I am not heavy.

I look like I am quite young, I look 17. Many people have told me that I am quite pretty, and that I have a "figure."

I have had guys interested in me before, mostly NTs, but I have mostly turned them down because at that time I was not interested in dating.

Now that I am, what are the signals a guy sends out when they are interested? And how does a girl respond if she's interested?

Well how did you know before that those guys were interested in you? That would probably be the same way you would know now. It is not always easy to know but going off of what you noticed before could be a start.

Showing interest in someone by asking them questions and talking to them and being friendly could be a start of showing them you have some interest in them.

I think usually this stuff happens when you aren't even looking for it. Weird how that works?!

You sound nice! What state are you in? I'd go out with you.

I don't want you to take my advice too seriously, i'm hardly representative of the whole male populous, but generally we will get a little clingy. Address you more often than anyone else. Some guys make fun of women they like, some guys shower them with compliments and gifts. Some guys show off when they're around, or keep telling really lame jokes. Any time a guy makes an attempt to be with you in your presence, chances are they like you. Men favor direct attempts over subtlety.

Last edited by Daewoodrow on 20 May 2008, 1:25 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Wish I had a picture to see what you look like and to give you advice. But the easy answer is: straighten your hair(with specialized lotion)wear heels(cuz you're petite and they make you look taller)and pants/skirts that hug your Butt .
Glasses Can be pretty, but they have to have the right frame(thick and black) but if you can you might wanna try contacts.

I think the problem isn't that she isn't attracting guys but that she can't always tell if someone likes her.

As to you....good luck getting or keeping a relationship.

I am in Pennsylvania.

I think that perhaps the way she dresses and presents herself isnt as obvious and flamboyant as other girls so she gets overlooked.

That is possible but my problem is with giving a false impression of yourself to attract someone. If you dress "a part" then you better be able to act that way to and who wants to have to keep pretending to be something that makes them uncomfortable. I'm just speaking from my own experince in my teens and early twenties. I attracted people who liked me to dres up and then expected it all the time. It just issn't the real me and then they would get upset that they had been "tricked".

I think it makes more sense to just be your self, Yeah, you wont attract as many people but the ones you do attract will like you for who you are and not who you are pretending to be. If someone doesn't find me attractive without make-up or high heels they will eventually leave me for someone who does wear those things...better t be "real" from the get go and hope you actually find someone who doesn't care about those things. Believe it or not, there are guys who hate the smell and look of make-up and would rather have someone who can run up a hill with them then totter around on heels. Maybe that cuts down on the odds but I still would rather date one guy a year that liked me for myself then 10 guys who are going to end up rejecting or trying to change me once they see my "real self".

All you have to do is be yourself.

One thing you can do is post that you are looking for a relationship on WP. lol. There is a huge imbalance of available female aspies to available male aspies here, so you will have plenty of takers I'm sure.

In all seriousness, I'm game - you sound awesome. Into Transformers, light brown naturally curly hair, don't wear make-up, look 10 years younger... you sound gorgeous. I'd love to go out with you!

But to answer your question, in western society it is usually women who send the signals out to the guys they are interested in, then the guy is expected to be able to pick up on these signals (Ha!) and then do the approaching, thus giving the woman the right to reject him or not. The power is all in your hands... you just have to learn how to wield it.

Some other pointers... if a guy you don't know or barely know approaches you, chances are he's interested. If you have a guy who has been a close friend and confidante for longer than a month or so, chances are he's interested and too shy to tell you.

Oh yeah, this is just my personal opinion but one I'm sure a lot of guys share... DON'T lose the naturally curly hair, and DON'T lose the glasses. Looking different from the herd is a good thing, and chances are they make you look intelligent, which is also a good thing!

Thank you! I would love to go out with you too, I would be game

I hadn't known that, I alway thought it was the guy who did the initiating

Thank you for your advice, that was stuff I also hadn't known.

Simply put, you have the same problem we all have:face blindness. When I was your age, I was told I wasn't 'picking up clues' when girls showed an interest in me. I really couldn't tell when someone was interested(!)

The easiest thing you can do to show interest in a guy is to simply talk to him. To the NT world, having a conversation isn't just idle banter, but a clear indication of interest & the possibility to take things further. It's one of the obvious cues I've overlooked before; mistaking a girl striking up a conversation with me for simple banter.

smile pretty

Penn, huh? Oh well. I'm in Oregon.

The best way to attract a guy is simply to be a girl. (Dressing a little slu*ty never hurt either.)