Pressure to be happy makes me unhappy

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Perambulator
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24 May 2008, 5:40 pm

Does anyone else feel the same? I love the British sense of humour - we probably have most of the best comedians in the world. It's just I'm not a funny person myself - at least not intentionally.

People make me feel guilty for having a serious, philosophical nature because most people want to have fun so much. I know many people hate me because of their frustrated heads snapping away, the hostile swinging of the eyes and the exasperated sighing. I always question things and when I do laugh I like intellectual humour, biting satire, that kind of thing and of course many people think I'm a snob or elitist because of it.

Which is true. I am. But I'm a good guy. I know I have high ethical standards and weigh up most decisions carefully. A lot of people frighten me...

I dare any of you to watch a Hitchcock film from the '60s (it has to be from that decade). Observe the beautiful solemnity of the characters. They use humour but in a more witty way than we do today. They make jokes that are actually very well thought out and will be funny forever, probably. They don't overuse humour - and they don't feel guilty for having periods of melancholy.

What I love about most of Hitchcock's '60s films is at some point a character will play a tune on an upright piano usually in one of the apartments in which the film is set. When they play it, they don't do it to impress. It's more of an expression of a feeling. And people don't react to it saying, "Wow!" It's just considered normal.

That's what I think makes me depressed about life today. Nothing seems normal. Everything is about extreme reactions. Whatever happened to just going with the flow and like in Hitchcock's films of the '60s everyone (except the psychopaths) keeping a relatively balanced, level-headed approach to life? Why is a diverse display of emotion so wrong?



krex
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24 May 2008, 5:52 pm

Pretty much summed up my life. Read Brave New World...we are there, please pass the SOMA.


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juliekitty
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24 May 2008, 6:07 pm

Right there with you.



sinagua
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24 May 2008, 6:19 pm

TOTALLY there with you! I'm the same way. Being female, I want to scream every time someone insists I smile more! Why would I go around grinning like an idiot all the time? I'm not miserable (not always, haha), but I am very thoughtful (perhaps "too much" so, I guess) and there is usually SOMETHING on my mind, even if it's a pleasant thing, I'm probably thinking REALLY HARD about it. So I get told I look angry all the time. :(

I also love British humor (God Save Stephen Fry and John Cleese) and tire of schlocky, over-the-top crap that often passes for American "humor" (or at least sitcoms). Notable exceptions are Bill Hicks, Richard Pryor, and early George Carlin. And Demitri Martin! yay! ;)



krex
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24 May 2008, 6:31 pm

I would like to add Steven Colbert and John Stewart to the list.....along with several other Jewish comedians and humor writers....but yeah, I'm American and have always preferred British humor...grew up watching Monty Python when my peers were watching The Brady Bunch...(OK, I watched a bit, 'cause the guys were kind of cute, but I didn't laugh, honest)

Does anyone else feel like everyone else seems to be faking how much fun they are having ? I always thought they were "over acting" because their responses seemed so extreme about things that seemed so...stupid to me? It's not that I think they are giving a "wrong" response but it just felt fake to me. Unlike them...I have been trained to at least intellectualize "theory of mind"and don't request they act/feel/experience things the same way I do. Perhaps some ToM therapy for NT's would help?


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sinagua
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24 May 2008, 6:35 pm

I LOVE AND ADORE Jon Stewart, but Colbert's schtick is finally wearing a bit thin on me. I know it's just a stage persona, but still.



whatwhome
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24 May 2008, 7:13 pm

My favorites are the people who tell me they're going to "cure" me. That if they could get me to laugh, or make silly faces with them, that I'd magically pop out of my little daze and see things like everyone else. The way they see them.

Most times, I'll dance a jig for a day to let them feel accomplished.

Does anyone else get stuck playing this game?



kaytie
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24 May 2008, 9:14 pm

i agree. it's like there's this norm of happiness that we should pursue but then by wanting it makes us more miserable. i hate that we have to conform to it to be satisfied. And yet, i'm not so sure that if we get to that place will we ever be really satisfied.



CanyonWind
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24 May 2008, 9:43 pm

Everybody done gave up on me a long time ago. I'd say everybody I know, but I don't know nobody.

Gotta get nationalistic here just for a second. The Marx Brothers were American. Top that.


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sinagua
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24 May 2008, 10:02 pm

CanyonWind wrote:
Everybody done gave up on me a long time ago. I'd say everybody I know, but I don't know nobody.

Gotta get nationalistic here just for a second. The Marx Brothers were American. Top that.


Sons of Jewish immigrants from Germany. Are the best American comedians generally Jewish?

/discuss :wink: