not coping!

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my daughter is 7 and a half and has asd, learning difficulties and challenging behaviour, im finding her becoming increasingly difficult to deal with at home. i think i may have to let her live with her dad soon

Sounds like you are going though a difficult time. Could you tell us more about the behavior? How do YOU feel about her living with her father?

BeeBee

jenny, what a ghastly position to be in. what sort of support do you have? and i mean in all senses - support for your daughter and for yourself.

well i think she is stressed because im noticing a lot of echolalia from her and its not something she does a lot echolalia doesnt bother me or lining things up or any of those behaviours. its when she starts being destructive and aggressive towards me that bothers me a lot as she is getting bigger and is very strong. she also says swear words a lot and im trying to ignore this but it can be hurtfull at times.

living with her dad is not a great solution for me as he lives miles away and iv worked so hard over the years with her and love my daughter.

my daughter is in normal school and gets a lot of support there but in normal day to day life we have no support apart from friends and cant always rely on them for support as they have their own lifes

Does your school as a special education PTA? Mine holds monthly meetings. Its a good source of support from other parents who have been there and understand the stress.

Another idea I would recommend is to drop in at the www.conductdisorders.com website. Its a good place for articles and has a forum for when our little GFG's (gifts from God) get to be a handfull.

And continue posting here, of course.

BeeBee

i dont think they have a special pta but i might suggest that to them although i dont think they would have me on the pta board as they know im very forgetfull and disorganised lol il give that site you suggest a visit too

can you investigate any support you could get? i don't know where in scotland you are, but it might be worth contacting the NAS to see if they have anything to suggest:

http://www.nas.org.uk/

good luck, hon. and have a support hug from me.

Vivi

well i have had help on another issue from the nas and did try an autism support group before but only went once as am not good with crowds and it was a very busy meeting.

Have you tried going through the Quadrangle in Maryhill. Glasgow? They are an adult autism team, BUT, surprise surprise, they have experience of getting support for those in need. They would certainly advise you.

That might sound like a stupid question, but there are all kinds of things that can cause behavior problems.....not all of them behavior disorders. It takes a psychiatrist and a blood test to rule out some things. I'm not trying to give you false hope. My own kid has Asperger's and he's a super-trouble-maker in special ed. However, we've ruled out all the other things.

Good Luck.
RES

sound like you have your hands full. when is there time for you ?
have you tried looking into respite ?

BIG HUG to you. Special needs kids are such a handful! I am still with my husband and my Mom lives with us but let me tell you they are NOT any help. So I feel alone in this. Vladi started becoming agravated & a "smart A$$" at about seven. Do remeber that our kids are very smart and tell her that you ARE not to be disrespected! That you do not cuss at her and she should do the same. About melt downs all I do is let him get it out one time he got so mad he kept punching my husbands chest for a good 15 minutes! then he stopped and cried histerically! But one thing please don't send her away...I think it would be worse. Chin up mommy (((HUG)))

My son became very disruptive at about 7 and was suspended in school for his aggressive behavior. I found it helpful to both of us to have a schedule it reduces the frustration. When he became to out of hand we would take time out together and do sometime quiet he chose to do, like a play thearpy, in this way he could better express himself and what was bothering him, and by me playing with him on his terms (he made all the rules in the games we played) he felt important and more in control. I hope this helps and it does get better altho it sometimes dosnt feel that way. I also raised my son myself with little to no support so I feel for you and remember your are not any good to her if you dont do good for you. If at all possible you need to have time for yourself. God bless you and (((HUGS)))