Why I'm asocial

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I'm very sorry if I'm posting in the wrong sub forum. I'm new here and this is also my first post.

I have no idea how long this post will be... I would like to write something about myself, and I am very interested in knowing if anyone can relate to it.
It's the reason I feel I have been so asocial for most of my life. I can't exactly remember when I was diagnosed with AS. I think I was about 6-8 years old when I learned about it. Before, I had been very social. I talked and played a lot with other kids, had no problem talking with adults, and I felt that I had a lot of good friends. But then I learned that I talked TOO MUCH, and talked about a lot of stuff nobody cared about. I learned that several of the people I talked a lot with and saw as good friends, actually hated me because of my behavior.
It came as a shock to me, and instead of just trying to adjust my behavior as best as I could, I instantly became very asocial. Talked a lot less with people and mostly just kept to myself because of fear of them hating me, and it has been like that pretty much since then, though I am slowly learning to talk more with people again, while trying to control the way I behave.
Because of that shock, I really feel that my life has been a lot harder and more complicated than it could otherwise have been.

Is this something anybody here can relate to and understand?

I don't even know why I'm writing about this. I almost never talk about such things as this, but I was just sitting here in the middle of the night and suddenly really wanted to just write something...

Ya, I think that's common..when I lose a friend or suddenly find myself "out of the loop" it hurts. What makes it worse is not knowing WHY! I used to go over and over it but could not understand it. Now, if it happens, I just move on. I become indifferent. Ironically, I ended up finding a very few close friends with more depth than those I wanted friendship and acceptance from before. Anyway, if you're new, so am I. Welcome.

I remember thinking that everything in my life was ok until about 5th grade. Suddenly people started treating me like an outcast and making fun of my interests. It hurt alot and I think that's the reason I stopped talking. Then I got picked on because I was "too quiet". Granted I was a bit of a geek anyway (just all around dorky child). But I really wanted so much to fit in and have a few friends and not be picked on almost every day, it was horrible. I hate looking back on it, thank god it's over. But because of all that I still don't trust people and I still get labeled as strange and weird, but at least I know now that there is an explanation and that does help some. Welcome to the board

When I was 6, I had one friend over and another came over with his father to do some work on our house in Alaska. Within moments, the two of them were outside playing together, unaware that I was even there. At that point, even at that young age, I came to a realization that in many ways I am a nexus, a passage point to make connections for those around me. Since then... I don't make many friends - a ton of acquaintances, but few that make any connection to me directly - but those I have I tend to keep an enduring hold onto.


M.

hello welcome to WP, You are definetly not alone here many people I have met here in the last week are very simular. Everyone here is very understanding and stuff, just be carefull of some of the Aspie supremest, conversations have been known to get off topic.

Has any of this helped you Kordox?