news that all those men who become tongue tied on a date

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It's true, just not anywhere near as easy as it sounds. Most normal people prefer to talk than to listen but you need to be able to spur conversation with as few words as possible, you've got to spot when they're running out of things to say and subtly guide the conversation before there's any silence. And you've got to ask as few questions as possible. On top of that you still need to be entertaining, just pithy.

That's why I think it takes kind of knowing them; ie. knowing what they like to talk about, knowing what kinds of observations they find funny (of course, mutual ground), and having the background with them to get how to pull that off. True, intuition with people can cover a good deal of ground on that but I've found that I can never solely go on vibe, gestalt, etc - they can be warning flags but that's about it.

someone has to keep the pot boiling... an occaisional 'leading question', requests for clarification, etc., just to let them know you are listening...

In my generation (well, actually the one before me) women were told to get a man, they should be good listeners. That's (hopefully) changed...

Study determines the sky is blue
According to old painted records there was a theory in the XVI century that the sky was blue, but now our scientists have confirmed so using space era tech!

I was thinking the same thing when I read this!! ! Seriously. What about the girls that actually want someone to talk to, not at?

<i>I was thinking the same thing when I read this!! ! Seriously. What about the girls that actually want someone to talk to, not at?</i>

Statistically insignificant.

...

Sorry. Anyway it's kind of telling, 50-60 years ago men had the power in relationships and women had to be good listeners. Now men have to be good listeners. Kind of gives away who's wearing the trousers these days.

I'd like to see those "statistics".

According to the OP, based on their theories they predicted accurately 80% of the results, but there was a deviation on the other 20%. Yes, there are women who like somebody that talks, but I imagine at least half of them want somebody else to do all the talking, and may be very hard to get close to.

I suspect that people who go in for speed-dating do so because they are impatient and have reached the point of Desperation. Analyse why they would be in this state to begin with (or, accordingly, this venue - talk about instant gratification-seeking!) and you're fairly certain to come to the sole logical conclusion: that they're overly self-centred types, with fragile egos because of that. How, then, could these types NOT approve of someone who lets them do all of the talking (aka Taking) and then rewards this appallling attitude with faux approval...to the point where the egotist obviously will want to date such schmucks who allow them to continue their spoilt brattish behaviour without ever being brought to book?!

I think it's ridiculous to recommend falsity of emotion like that for the sake of entering a relationship! How is THAT a good basis for an honest, open, MATURE relationship?! You can consider it Splat! before it's even begun!

What a crock of shite.

The key to anything in life is always, always to Find A Balance.

So I'm with you (yet again) on this score. I want MUTUAL interest and stimulation (gnarf!), not sycophancy and an entirely false relationship foundation upon which all future interaction must necessarily be likewise false and meaningless. xoxo

First I'd have to see how they got the candidates for the study. If they were there for the sole reason of speed-dating, unaware of the study, then yes, your claims are probably very well founded. If the candidates were picked randomly among singles, then it doesn't hold much weight.

You're quite right - that was a very knee-jerk reaction on my part (st-raaaight in the groin....oh, yessss!). I should have qualified more thoroughly (note to self - "Thwack!"). Granted, the whole 'study' could have been contrived in some way and the study group wouldn't have behaved naturally knowing their attendance would be filmed/recorded. Further - some people who go in for speed-dating for the mere fun and frivolity of it (...or at least that's what they SAY is their reason!! !?)

But, why, pray tell, are you defending speed-daters??? Eh? EH???

...Or were you merely trying to pepper your flattery and flirting quest thus far with an "En garde, poooseeecat!"...in order to show off your flexibility in terms of interchangeability of approach??? xoxo