Do you feel the opposite sex may not be interested.....

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Brandon-J
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18 Jul 2008, 4:56 pm

in you just by the way you walk. I've noticed that alot of aspies on this forum seem to have the same problem I do with walking awkward. It's like you definately cant do anything about it and they may think you're weird before you even talk to them. At which it might be true. Apperance and charisma goes a long way in meeting somebody. And when you don't have that you can always fall back on your intelligence and conversation. But we (aspies) dont even have that to fall back on. Even if we are intelligent by us having difficulty talking and conversating it seems that we have a few loose screws if you know what I mean.



SIXLUCY
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18 Jul 2008, 5:10 pm

People say that Im like a cat but I have to admitt I can be pretty clumsy at times



MrSinister
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18 Jul 2008, 5:53 pm

I suspect my occasional habit of inclining my head slightly forwards so I'm looking up through my eyebrows doesn't help me. Nor does my little stim of repeatedly moving my middle fingers while I'm holding my hands at my sides...


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18 Jul 2008, 6:22 pm

One of my friends tells me that he can recognise me from miles away just from the way I walk. Personally I don't think it's such an issue, but I do have trouble keeping good posture which is certainly an issue. I'm 6'2" but look 5'9" to people.



pbcoll
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18 Jul 2008, 9:09 pm

A guy I know was told by a good female friend of his (after she'd had enough truth serum, i.e. alcohol) that the reason he had dating troubles was that he walks funny (must be a pretty subtle thing, as I never noticed it - he had an accident, it's nothing genetic, and he's not disabled at all, he's perfectly capable of walking, running, playing sports, etc like anybody else). So yeah, the way you walk can be important.


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KingofKaboom
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18 Jul 2008, 9:29 pm

Never had that happen but to be honest my only problem is just interaction nothing physical or anything like that...


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Willard
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18 Jul 2008, 9:38 pm

My screws are just fine, thank you. Yes, conversing is rather awkward at first, but if you just keep at it, you'll learn to fumble your way along until some kind of common ground presents itself, or you bore the other person to sleep, (which will happen occasionally). Even that doesn't mean they dislike you, you just didn't find the right connection that time. Be patient, be persistent (just don't be a stalker). Nobody hits the bullseye (or even the target for that matter) every time.

I don't really know how I walk (that's why I avoid store security monitors), but I know if I spent any time at all worrying about whether it looked odd, due to the heightened anxiety it would become odder by the moment, until I tripped and fell over a curb in the parking lot or fell into a display in the grocery store. Stop psyching yourself out. Yes, I know exactly what you're talking about but I outgrew worrying about it because it was counterproductive. It took years, but then nobody advised me and I had never heard of AS.

So what if people think you're different? You ARE different, thank god we're not marching in lock-step with the masses, isn't this 'different drummer' thing cool? NOT EVERYBODY CAN THINK LIKE THIS - that's the very thing that makes you interesting - and the people who don't see that (female or otherwise) are not people you would enjoy being with anyway.

Here's a Zen lesson: "Water seeks it's own level" meditate on that. No seriously, not just for a moment - make that your mantra for the next six years.

The 'opposite sex' as you put it is not nearly so mysterious, aloof or unattainable as you think. You just believe you're not worthy. Don't be afraid of or discouraged by failure. It's like the old vaudeville saw:

"How do you get to Carnegie Hall?"

"Practice, practice, practice..."



SIXLUCY
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18 Jul 2008, 9:43 pm

The opposite sex love me and I love them with every inch of their manhood



Sedaka
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18 Jul 2008, 10:23 pm

SIXLUCY wrote:
People say that Im like a cat but I have to admitt I can be pretty clumsy at times


there's a funny line from some movie (i forget) : i have the skills of a drunken cat

forget the context but it pertains to someone's physical prowess.... in fighting, i believe for some reason


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NeantHumain
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18 Jul 2008, 10:31 pm

Asperger's syndrome is neurodevelopmental, so so-called soft neurological signs are common. I have an odd posture and gate. I also slur over some words sometimes (but this is probably from postnatal brain injury).



SIXLUCY
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18 Jul 2008, 10:50 pm

I think Im an aspie but according to the clinical psychologist Im not > I have autism

If so.. it must be very high functioning



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19 Jul 2008, 2:15 am

But I thought that looking at the ground, and occasionally snarling at whoever got in your way, was considered really hot...


:lol:


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5thelement
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19 Jul 2008, 5:26 am

mmm...interesting thread, I tend to walk in a particular manner - despite a dodgy foot I like to bounce alnong with my head held up.........and i think the opposite sex might just find that a bit snooty, but if I'm in europe or central london it's ok.......in fact in france I get openly gawped at and have to fend them off, in a manner of speaking - british guys seem almost emabaressed when they see me coming....this is a real issue with me - snarl!! - well maybe if I smiled more they may not be so timourous? na, people only smile here when the weather is good..so not very often!



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19 Jul 2008, 9:40 am

I don't think guys like me cause I'm strange. I've noticed that after they get to know me better, and I get too comfortable with them and myself...they leave. :cry:

I really tried to act "normal" and/or blase'. It's just one of those things I can't easily pull off like some people and I'm finding now that't it's a turn-off for me when guys do it too. To add, I think my quirks with AS makes it even harder.


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Tohlagos
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19 Jul 2008, 9:59 am

I've never had anyone tell me they were not interested in me by the way I walk... then again I have never really had any woman tell me they were not interested... then again I have hardly ever shown I was interested when I was (to much anxiety)... then again I can't tell when a woman is interested for the most part.

If I do walk funny and woman are turned off by it, I think that is cool because I wouldn't want to be with someone who judges me like that anyway.


Maybe I should learn to hop around and like roll on the ground like a chimpanzee ... and like hang from trees or something. Yeah, sounds like fun! :P