I don't want to complain about an autistic child but

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Triangular_Trees
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21 Jul 2008, 11:09 pm

There is an autistic boy who lives next door. I've never complained about his repeatedly banging a stick on a metal trash can outside my window and his parents have never complained about me swearing at my computer, threatening to kill it or throw it out the window, saying it (or god) hates me and I'll never be allowed to do anything, at the top of my lungs. the guy 2 house down probably can't stand to be home :) )(Only once did I scream out SHUT UP when the boy was out there being loud. I had already put off working on my thesis for several days because of him and it was now to the point where i needed to finish it- i couldn't do it at school because there was a class in the room i had 24 hour access to. I was also getting headaches and extra angry at that time due to undiagnosed epilepsy.

But now he is driving me crazy. He keeps screaming "EeeeeOOOOWWWW." It sounds just like a cat in pain. I can't tell you how many times I've ran to check on my cat, seen he was okay, and then ran outside to make sure a stray cat wasn't hurt. My heart jumps every single time he does this because i think my cat is in terrible pain. I can't just ignore it either, because it does sound like a cat in pain, and that might really be the case. It sounds just like how my last cat cried when he received an injury so bad he needed his leg amputated

I won't complain to his parents but when he does this several times a day, I want to shout out at him to stop yelling because he's driving me insane



Age1600
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21 Jul 2008, 11:32 pm

does music calm you down, ever try just putitng your ipod on with headphones and drift away in ur music? Or noise cancelling headphones? My neighbors can be extremely loud, but i use my ipod to calm me down if i need to. I cant imagine being my neighbors though because im kinda like ur kid next door, im always screeching, screaming, yelling, making weird types of noises.


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Mum2ASDboy
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21 Jul 2008, 11:38 pm

I don't think you would be complaining to the parents (as you put it) but remember they have to put up with it as well.
If it was my child doing that I would WANT to be told how it was affecting others. Tell them that when he makes that particular noise you are worried that it is a cat in pain, they won't know unless you telll them.
My son will makes noises and create loudness but my neighbours seem to accept.
I hope you find a way to block it out so you can study. Good luck!!



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21 Jul 2008, 11:39 pm

Quote:
swearing at my computer, threatening to kill it or throw it out the window, saying it (or god) hates me and I'll never be allowed to do anything, at the top of my lungs.

I do believe you just described a perfectly normal behavior. :lol:

To add to Age1600's sound advice, I also suggest getting yourself a loud fan if music distracts you as well (I can't form complex thoughts and listen to music at the same time, so I prefer plain old white noise)... and shutting your window(s), if you aren't doing that already. Holy crap, is he really so loud you can hear him through the window!? 8O



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21 Jul 2008, 11:51 pm

Mum2ASDboy wrote:
If it was my child doing that I would WANT to be told how it was affecting others. Tell them that when he makes that particular noise you are worried that it is a cat in pain, they won't know unless you telll them.
! !

I agree, you can say it in a non rude way, just make them aware of it so maybe they can help to have him distracted when you need to work on school work perhaps?


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ooOoOoOAnaOoOoOoo
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22 Jul 2008, 1:02 am

I have a really good answer. Whenever he is being noisy and you have to study, go talk to his parents and just say;

"I understand he likes to express himself but I really need to get this done right now. I have a term paper due (insert time) and if I don't get a good grade I won't make it to graduate school, my entire future is riding on this paper. Would it be possible to just have a couple of hours of quiet?"

That is, if you tried turning on a fan or something first. Back ground noise can do wonders. I always sleep with a fan on because I am so sensitive to all kinds of night time noises and the sound the fan makes is so constant and soothing and I can't hear anything but it, and it makes it easier to drift off with it on.

Be diplomatic and non offensive when talking to his parents, make it clear you understand autism and respect their feelings and his.



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22 Jul 2008, 1:08 am

Try moving the trash can. If he's going to hit it with a stick, let him hit it with a stick somewhere else besides under the window.


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22 Jul 2008, 3:15 am

sgrannel wrote:
Try moving the trash can. If he's going to hit it with a stick, let him hit it with a stick somewhere else besides under the window.


Yeah this was my first thought. Or speak to the parents and offer to get them a plastic trash can ;)



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22 Jul 2008, 4:17 am

Put something that will freak him out if he goes near the trash can, I know this is terrible and probably is just the post where someone say something dumb though. It could be usesfull like maybe one of those movement detectors that will make a loud noise if he gets close or something. Or you could put a fake version of something that will probably scare him off, plus it could be fun.


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22 Jul 2008, 4:23 am

If you can't move the trash can try and put some damping material on it, the loudness and sound will change dramatically (into more of a dull thud) and he'll probably get board.

Something called Dynamat would do the job.


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Triangular_Trees
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22 Jul 2008, 6:58 am

Age1600 wrote:
does music calm you down, ever try just putitng your ipod on with headphones and drift away in ur music? Or noise cancelling headphones? My neighbors can be extremely loud, but i use my ipod to calm me down if i need to. I cant imagine being my neighbors though because im kinda like ur kid next door, im always screeching, screaming, yelling, making weird types of noises.


For the most part I hate music - I know I can't stand the sound of an electric guitar.

But while I'm working I need absolute silence. And I do mean need- I failed a class in high school because the teacher whispered to her husband during all of our tests - I knew the correct answers, but got hopelessly confused about what I was being asked for because of the background noise. I would always end up writing down what I had just told myself was wrong because that was what was on my mind before the noise cancelled out my thoughts. I did once try to write a college paper when 2 others were in the lab with me. i thought I was doing a good job, until I was alone and read it - My sentences, my sentences, my noise plane, sent, dog eat pizza, sentences were all like this. Even people studying at the table across from me in the library drives me crazy.

I have noise cancelling headphones - but I can still hear this boy, even if i also have ear plugs in.

Quote:
"I understand he likes to express himself but I really need to get this done right now. I have a term paper due (insert time) and if I don't get a good grade I won't make it to graduate school, my entire future is riding on this paper. Would it be possible to just have a couple of hours of quiet?"


*its their trash can. My room is on the second floor, windows closed - I could even hear this when all windows in the house were closed. The can is probably only about 5 feet away from the side of my house. Also this is the only part of his yard that is flat enough to play on so he can't just go to the other side of the house, though i've no doubt I could still hear him if he did

I don't know them - actually I only know the boys name because his dad used to scream at him all the time when he was a baby (he seems to have learned enough that he now knows thats futile). His mom never yelled though - when he bangs on the can she calmly says "you're being too loud." She does seem to have pulled him inside once when I was screaming that I couldn't do my work, but not sure if that was because of my screaming or because of his behavior

And I'm also afraid that if I say anything about his behavior they'll say something like "well yeah we don't like you swearing in front of our kids but we don't complain." Though I had meant to apologize for my yelling once i graduated but by then i rarely had enough energy to get out of bed. But right now I couldn't walk to their house anyway. Our houses our literally just a feet a part but there is an old dog pen between them, and overgrown bushes were the pen isn't. The yards here are also 5 feet above street level. So I'd have to walk down my steps, which I can't always do without resting, than walk up their even steeper steps, which I'm not allowed to be on (doctors orders not theirs) to speak with them. And then do the rest to get back. The other option would be too shout across at them and I'm not sure i could do so loud enough for them to hear. and they probably wouldn't think that was polite either, especially since we don't know each other



Bradleigh
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22 Jul 2008, 7:04 am

Scare the kid, they will never know it is you. :twisted:


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ImMelody
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22 Jul 2008, 7:13 am

How old is the kid? I'm assuming you're on the spectrum too. Maybe if you can call down to him, and talk to him? Maybe even be like a spectrum buddy with him. Teach him some of the things that you've learned over the years to control your stimming? It doesn't sound like his parents are being very proactive with his disruptions (which I totally don't understand).

Otherwise, your other option would be to call the police. I know.. Extreme, but if you can't talk to his parents, then maybe they can. Also, you can make sure that they don't say your name, so they don't know who called. If it's as loud as you say, anyone could have called. Just some thoughts. I know how you feel about needing absolute silence to do any work. I'm the same way.



22 Jul 2008, 1:02 pm

I would still talk to them if I were you and tell them their kid is bothering you because you're trying to study. Just do it in a civil manner.


I mean does the kid even need to be outside banging on the trash can? He can do it another time.



Triangular_Trees
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22 Jul 2008, 1:22 pm

He's around 6. I know the one time he was banging the trash can something gave me the impression his mother had sent him outside because he was acting like that in the house.

Banging the trashcan and yelling are the only ways I've ever seen/heard him play. He has toys - just ignores them. Don't know if thats also the case inside the house though. Maybe I should take the paper off my window and see :wink: - after all my window looks right into their window