Ask me about not wallowing in self pity.

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The first two years of high school for me were horrible, lonely, agonized years where I had no direction or any hope for a future. At lunch I'd sit against a wall until it was over. I'd go home and play video games or go on the internet. It was terrible. I was terrible.

Then I snapped out of it. Now I have tons of friends and a direction for the course of my life. But first I had to snap out of this victim mentality.

The very name of this website implies a sort of "Oh poor me" feeling that is just sickening. Wrong Planet? Oh it's just not fair! Why was I born this way? I'll just have to console myself with the thought that it's completely out of my hands as I sit alone, generally miserable but knowing it's not my fault! Am I right?

What is wrong with you people? Are you gonna let this mental disorder define your entire life? Is it who you are? Are you destined to be a social outcast because of bad genetics, or mercury in your flu shots, or whatever unknown pathology causes these supposedly related pyschological symptoms.

Or are you going to put yourself around people, make friends, learn signals, force yourself to make eye contact, and all that happy horses**t? This 'condition' seems like it's giving all you people an excuse to be miserable and wallow in self pity because you were 'born this way'.

Everyone has some disadvantage, you don't need to obsess over it all the time. Take charge and stop thinking of yourself as some helpless loser who can never change.

I came here when I heard of William Fruend posting on the Something Awful forums. Even in my darkest, loneliest days it never occured to me to wallow in self with a bunch of socially awkward geeks just like me in some communal reinforcement circle jerk forum.

And may the great garfield not strike my message of hope from these forums like so many shattered puckins.

i do not come to this site to talk about how i'm a "victim." i come to this site to give and recieve support to / from people who have had similar experiences to me. i also come to this site as an escape from people who act as though they're a higher authority on what's best for me. if you don't approve of the content of this site, no one is forcing you to participate.

yeah, what she said.

First of all, not everyone here has victim mentality.

Secondly, if you don't like this site why did you become a member?

I'll go so far to say that, at least for me, AS was somewhat mental. Once I could come to grips with the anxiety (which was all in my head), I did far better.

However, keep in mind that AS and autism is all part of a spectrum. There are people on here that are afraid to even go out, and there are people that fit into society quite well and would appear entirely normal. You, most likely, are towards the high-function end, but many people are not.

Your suggestion that people on here have a victim mentality is ridiculous. People are here because they want to meet people they have something in common with. It's no different than a forum about Stephen King books, or computer hardware, or marijuana. Members there all like to read/build PCs/get stoned. These forums are no different.

I do have to agree with you on many points. I have been extremely disheartned by the amount of victim/poor me/I'm so depressed/nothing I can do but cry about it stuff I read here. I hoped to find other people who, while having certain set backs, were working around them and could understand my odd point of view on the world. Instead I am realzing I realte more to NT's that I know because at least they aren't wallowing in self pity and excuses, I'm actually not sure I want to keep reading or posting here now. (I'm sure there will bea barrage of "then why are you here?" comments, but I ask those people the same question, if all you want to do is complain, why are YOU here, what purpose are you having?)

Were not all victims. A lot of us do have friends and fulfilling lives. But we do have real problems, which is why we come here - to help each other overcome them.

As for the Wrong Planet thing: It is not whining. It is a reference to the description of AS as (cool, that is the same letters twice in a row. (Stop getting distracted.) "Oops, wrong planet syndrome".
When you spend your entire life wondering "why do I feel so different?", it does feel as though you've been put on the wrong planet.

I agree with you totally.


I'm sure a lot of people on Wrong Planet who are confident and living their lives in a successfully that it comes as a surprise to know that they're even autistic. But there are others I see who wallow in self-pity and are miserable with their lives.


To those people, you need to stop feeling sorry for yourself and be confident. I suggest you do something totally different to break the habit. Like wake up at 6am tomorrow and run around your block twice, before going to school/uni. It may sound simple, but it's a start and you can work your way ahead.

Tool, if you think AS is all about social skills and nothing else, you are terribly uninformed.