Autistic five-year-old kicked out of restaurant

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I'm sorry but you apparently are reading what you want to read.

What I didn't like about your comment was this:

In a restaurant, the patrons are paying to enjoy their meal, not listen to your child scream. It's not realistic for you to expect the rest of the world to revolve around your autistic child...out of consideration for others, you need to take the child out until you can get the meltdown under control.

When I already wrote about what I do in such situations in which you try to twist it up.

You are at it again.


What part of these statements already posted do you not get?

"I deal with my own daughter when it comes to restaurants but I'm giving the parents the benefit of a doubt in this situation because there have been some times when people would rudely inject their ugly responses even after getting the situation under control."


My daughter does the same thing. I'm not going to act embarassed by my daughter either and NOT take her out. I do have my own methods to help her calm down which does involve going to the restroom, talking and repeating if necessary.

am wonder if they are regulars to the restaurant,if she is at the restaurant regular,it is possible it has strongly become part of her routine and the kicking off is due to needing the same meal every time as it's also become part of routine.
this is what it's like for am,though am pick up meals with staff in the car rather than stay in the restaurant,am have to have the same meal,on the same day as it is part of weekly routine,meltdowning as a result is due to flight or fight response been triggered by change which is a major attack to am-perhaps the girl might have similar issues here? quite a few users have assumed she is aspie but it says autism [usually means classic autism when it's written in non autistic community articles],it doesn't say what autism she has but change is more commonly a bigger problem within classic.
it's possible it's her autism,it's possible it's a child thing,it's possible it's both,that can't be judged from a story about them.
but she should be brought out of the place till she is better-so she doesn't get worse and doesn't start off anyone else,maybe they could bring along things that distract her- things like a weighted blanket or vest,koosh balls etc.
the parents can ring the restaurant first to ask if they've got the meal left,so they know it's going to be available when they get there.

At least this story does have a happy ending

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KWj-Z-jCm6c[/youtube]


http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=18363803989

Sarah the mother explains more on her facebook.

http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=18363803989

I have no problem addressing this issue...It really is a fair question. There have been times when my children (I do have 4) have made noise and I have chosen to take them out of the situation - Why didnt I take Eowyn out of the restaurant on Saturday when she had her tantrum?...

Firstly the word tantrum is probably the wrong word to use since it refers to behavior, something done as a cause and effect, by choice of the individual. For example; the child is told no, the child throws herself on the floor. If the child is then given what the child wants the child stops crying, calms down etc... this is a behavior chosen by the child in an attempt to get what the child wants. I think Episode would be a better description because although my daughter was crying and lieing on the floor, and pulling at her hair, it was not because she had been denied something or told no, it was not a choice, it was a response to stimuli, or overstimulation, and processing of information, she was attempting to re-regulate her system the only way she new how...it unfortunately was in a noisey, and hairpulling, rocking way.

Secondly, how loud was she...I do not deny my child was making noise. I do not deny a patron complained.. but it was not a patron at a table nearby, it was someone at the other side of the restaurant whom I did not have a chance to e xplain things to.

Imagine if you will a two year old who is mad...not really mad, just mad. Crying, being held by her dad, her mom is rubbing her shoulders hard and saying "It is safe" over and over to her while all three rock in the chair. The crying does not stop after 2-3 minutes so the mother picks up the child to take her out of the restaurant. The crying escalates to a scream, and the child pulls at her hair, hard enough t o pull out a handfull, and wrenches out of her mothers arms and runs under a table. Her mother leaves her there, where the screaming subsides to crying and humming and a strange clicking noise....now immaginine it is a 5 year old child doing this.....

Why didnt I take her out....well, this episode was a 5/10 we had a 7 hour drive ahead of us, and the escalation to screaming indicated if i left with her,,,this would only get worse. I wasnt going to risk it - especially when I knew she would calm as soon as the food arrived....as soon as she started clicking I knew we were near the end of the episode.

I dont know what the other couple was offered...or what happened with them. I just know that as soon as I told the manager that my daughter was autistic and was told "she shouldnt be in public" That is when we left and I took action.

I dont deny she made a fuss - but I do demand respect for all people, the issue for me remains the comment made to us and that is what I am trying to keep the focus on.

Thanks
Sarah

I am the mother who's daughter was kicked out of the restaurant. I wanted to reply to these posts because I wanted to focus on the reasons why I called the press etc. I dont deny my daughter was crying, but although this seems to the issue that most people are focusing on, it isnt the problem I had. You can agree or disagree with our decision to keep her in the restaurant - we were travelling, we were 3 hours from home and had a 7 hour drive ahead of us, at one point I strated to take her out and she escalated in her agitation...I was not prepared to have her go completley over the edge when I knew that she would be calm soon if I stayed put with her. If we left she thought she wasnt getting food...I know my daughter, others dont, so go ahead and make whatever calls you want on my parenting. Until you walk a mile in my shoes, you have the right to agree or disagree, and so do I.

The issue I had was how we were asked to leave. When I tried to explain that my daughter had autism I was told that "if this is how she acts with autism she shouldnt be brought out in public"

All people have the right to travel and go out in public. My daughter is normally fine in restaurants. She has eaten at this restaurant 4 times before when we have stayed at this hotel. We strive to keep things routine for her. The problem arose when she had to choose off the menu again rather than receiving her food as expected...Next time something like this happens it wont be as upsetting.

The statement made by the manager was completely unacceptable. That is what my husband and I had issue with and why we demanded an apology, and sensitivity training of the staff. Smitty's has gone one step further and has offered to do fundraising. They are currently fundraising for Autism Speaks as they are doing a walk in Edmonton in September and have committed to raise a minimum of $10,000

The restaurant did nothing wrong other than they could have used better phrasing of their request. Really parents should not be taking their autistic brat out in public in they can't behave. The autistic kids today are giving autism a bad name because their parents use the diagnosis to allow the child to act like a wild animal. My parents would have beat my butt till I couldn't walk for a week if I had pulled stunts like that. Thing is I never did pitch tantrums because my parents expected me to be civil.

If a child starts pitching a tantrum regardless of if they have a disorder or not the parents should ask for the meal to be boxed up and leave quickly. Other customers should not have to put up with disorderly conduct. Its interesting this happened in the UK because kids act like that all the time in the US and they don't get asked to leave. I wish someone would ask them to leave, but the majority of young American kids have behavorial problems so somehow its become acceptable to act like an evil brat.

If you ever have a child with autism and not one that is prim and proper like Ticker, you will learn that it's not an excuse but a reason and it seems that childless NT's and those on the spectrum without kids share something in common.

Hatred of kids and not really remembering what it felt like to be one. Selective memory?

I don't hate kids. I have a 3 year old and we have always removed him from a situation where he acts up in public immediately. I've never just told people "Oh, it's ok, he has autism." Exactly for the reasons stated above.

Why on EARTH would you keep a kid IN a situation where they are having a meltdown, rather than remove them anyway? Do you honestly think it's good for a kid to be where they are unhappy? If I put my kid in a pool, and he freaks out and wants to get out, do I keep him in there kicking and screaming just explain to everyone around "It's ok, he just has autism."?

You seem to be the one that doesn't remember what it's like to have meltdowns.

Mage, that is exactly what I do as well however I've met some really intolerant people regarding kids. This is why I'm giving the parent the benefit of a doubt. She knows her child well and when you weigh it out giving her scenerio and how she describes it...

She, her husband and her daughter had a long drive ahead. The daughter was at the end of the meltdown. The mother knew this because she was making her clicking sound. She at that point knew her daughter was getting over it but if she had pulled her child outside it could have gotten worse and ended up lasting in the vehicle for hours possibly causing a much bigger problem.

I don't see the parent saying anywhere "Oh, it's okay, she has autism." What the waiter said was wrong period and shows his true intent.

The child normally had pizza. It was a change of plans. This is what prompted the meltdown. They were regulars there apparently and suddenly the usual dish was no longer an option.

It's not like she went in knowing her daughter was going to do that.

If I didn't remember what it was like having meltdowns in public places, I would claim I was a perfect little angel.

I have however been through times where no, I really didn't remember but someone reminded me of my "embarrassing" response to enviroments.

Another piece of information we don't have is...

How long did the meltdown last?