All my friends had a party and didn't invite me

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mysterious_misfit
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02 Aug 2008, 10:44 am

Should I not consider them my friends anymore? I feel pretty hurt.



Transmogrifier
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02 Aug 2008, 11:10 am

No you should still consider them as your friends. This happens to me a lot, they go to beach, shopping spree, parties, and I never get invited, literally never. I come to view it as their understanding of my dislike for those sort of activities. Even though I might yearn for those activities sometimes, I don't know how to get invited, so I just let it be.
Friends aren't just there for parties and stuff, and are very hard to come by, so I don't think you should stop considering them as your friends because of that.



ablomov
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02 Aug 2008, 1:36 pm

You even have friends! You hardcore socialiser..........

Actually this must be saddening, I would try to build some thick skin and adopt a 'so what' not bothered attitude "! was busy with other stuff anyway" which personally speaking would be my 24/7 special interests....uh aspi here?



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02 Aug 2008, 1:42 pm

mysterious_misfit wrote:
All my friends had a party and didn't invite me Should I not consider them my friends anymore? I feel pretty hurt.

What friends?

Friends are people who enjoy being with each other, and who are concerned for each other's well-being. That those people failed you on both counts indicates that, while you may have considered them to be your friends, it is obvious that they did not consider you to be one of their friends.

Welcome to my world.


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Ladygirl
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02 Aug 2008, 3:21 pm

Have you 'called' them on it? My friend is pretty thoughtless when it comes to things like that. Narcissism is one of her negative qualities though. :(

But like Transmogrifier said "I come to view it as their understanding of my dislike for those sort of activities", I know it doesn't help that the few times I was asked I declined.



mysterious_misfit
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02 Aug 2008, 3:40 pm

Well, see it was a baby shower with all of the other moms I know from playgroups.



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02 Aug 2008, 4:17 pm

I've had this happen to me a few times. I've even had family do this. Just remember not to invite any of them when you have a party. When they ask why, throw this back at them. :twisted:


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Ladygirl
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02 Aug 2008, 5:11 pm

mysterious_misfit wrote:
Well, see it was a baby shower with all of the other moms I know from playgroups.


I'd still want to know why they didn't invite me (you). Even if it's just to see how adept they are at making up excuses. If they don't have a fair answer (seems likely that they won't) it will at least give you an opening to telling them that they hurt you. They probably 'deserve' some guilt, yeah?



ablomov
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03 Aug 2008, 3:26 am

Be direct "You bloody well left me out - why".



mysterious_misfit
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03 Aug 2008, 4:14 am

I think I'm done with them. :cry:



ablomov
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03 Aug 2008, 9:42 am

As per socialfantom I've had 'family' do this - news of weddings three months after the event including photographs - made me bloody angry. That was five years ago so since then I've forbidden any contact from them, ever.

I wish you strength and luck in finding new friends. Its a big world out there you never know who is round the corner.



MemberSix
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03 Aug 2008, 9:49 am

Ladygirl wrote:
mysterious_misfit wrote:
Well, see it was a baby shower with all of the other moms I know from playgroups.


I'd still want to know why they didn't invite me (you). Even if it's just to see how adept they are at making up excuses. If they don't have a fair answer (seems likely that they won't) it will at least give you an opening to telling them that they hurt you. They probably 'deserve' some guilt, yeah?

I think hearing it pretextually excused would amplify the pain severalfold.



MemberSix
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03 Aug 2008, 9:53 am

I guess this is the sharp end of social disability.

And it's usually one particular individual rather than a whole group that excludes you.

So don't take it out on the rest of the group.
Just understand that it was someone high up in the social ranking that kept you out - quite possibly, with your allies in the group expressing dissent.

Chances are if you set one up with those you consider your real friends, those who disagreed with your exclusion would come along to express their support/sympathy.



mysterious_misfit
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03 Aug 2008, 12:23 pm

MemberSix wrote:
I guess this is the sharp end of social disability.

And it's usually one particular individual rather than a whole group that excludes you.

So don't take it out on the rest of the group.
Just understand that it was someone high up in the social ranking that kept you out - quite possibly, with your allies in the group expressing dissent.

Chances are if you set one up with those you consider your real friends, those who disagreed with your exclusion would come along to express their support/sympathy.


You may be correct. And I think I know who. But I am not contacting any of them. If someone wants to contact me again, I will probably continue friendship with that person single-ly.



JerryHatake
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03 Aug 2008, 4:01 pm

It has happened to me but I got used it already at times because I just do a lot.


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