How do you break your shell?

Post Reply New Topic

And by shell I mean, introvert, which is driving me insane, I kept thinking of the odds of something going wrong. I just sit there, unable to act for I am afraid of what I will come off as. I am afraid of ending up like some people I know. Untalkative and just plain boring. I want to break the ice and have my hand in the game. How have any of you managed to shake off at least a little of your condition to talk to the opposite sex?

most people with AS tend to be good at watching movies and other people and regurgitating a one liner they heard.
i too was terribly shy when i was younger but i watched others and copied, this includes movies and real people interacting.

Well, when I'm with people I know, I wait until they start talking to me and then I start to talk comfortably. Try some kind of activity that'll involve multiple people.

the best thing is to be lucky enough to have someone come along and break it for you.

It comes when you can stop caring how others are going to perceive you, when you can be comfortable with "you" the way "you are"...and when it's not going to phase you the slightest if the person you start talking to takes you the wrong way or gets up and walks away....that's "their" choice...when you can realize that there are others that won't make the same choice...and those are the ones you want as friends in the long run anyways.

Unfortunately it's a skill that seems to come late in life for most of us, I know it has with me.

I'm still very much an introvert, but a noisier introvert now, who cares less about how the world and others see me.

I have always, currently am and will always be an extrovert. I'm the random equation in the whole game.

I've always been outgoing and whatnot.

With the exception of Summer where I do nothing because all my friends are one state down, whilst I have to come home, I'm pretty sociable, hanging out with people non-stop, doing homework with them and in general spending time with those who are close to me.

I'm extroverted and outgoing with most people that I know, at least until the possibility of romance is added into the equation. Then I just lock up and can't do anything...

unfortunatly i need beer to become normal, anything less than that and i am infected with autismaids

Well you have two choices: you stumble along 'in your shell' and wait for someone to find you, which has a small chance of success; or you throw yourself out and don't care what anyone thinks of you. If you're like me (AS/ADHHHD), the throwing yourself out shouldn't be too hard. If not, remember, "The people who mind don't matter, and the people who matter don't mind."

Take some acting classes. It helped me a bit.
And if that doesn't work, at least you'll know a lot of weirdos
-- your fellow actors and actresses.

I can vouch firsthand for this. I did alot of musical theater in high school (and some even today), and while I didn't find any relationships (thanks to the aforementioned locking-up I have in romantic situations), I was actually accepted by a group of people for who I am...

Aye, booze seems to help cancel out my AS to some degree too.

Besides that, I guess just having practice talking to people helps.

yeah booze a and AS a bad combo....many alcoholics are drinking to mask or hide underlying mental ill health problems, when i was in my twenties i would get drunk and meet women, shrug of my shyness. i dont drink now.
it may help but it may be a path to disaster as well.
approach carefully.

I have brief moments where I can come out of my shell, and sort of make friends, although I never seem able to keep contact, or feel I bore them, because I don't talk much, its to difficult for me to verbally express myself, and I seem to get cut off if I do get into a conversation, so I have given up even trying.

yes yes! what ^ they said! the ones who enjoy you for being you are the ones you want as friends... it took me quite awhile to learn that not everyone wants a chatty socialable friend and that people don't always perceive silence as a bad thing... there are people who prefer the quirky introverted ones... like me! as quiet and anti-social as i am when i finally found people i clicked with (and there aren't many) it wasn't an effort to talk, actually they couldn't shut me up!

i used to drink to overcome my shyness too but then i realised how stupid it was as people's first impression of me was "drunk me" rather than the real me... the drinking strategy usually back-fired anyway as most of the times drinking just made me more miserable as i was already miserable to start with...

There is a difference between introversion and shyness.