How to create a shell?
23
She will probably reject you. But you never know she may not. It may be worth a shot. Also it will do you some good to ask someone out and get rejected, because the next time you try it you will not find it that much of a big deal.
Are you sure there is no chance??? Why not try it on anyway.
I'll think about it. Anyway, the level of scariness of that idea seems quite big right now.
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Well it sounds as if you might take a step back.
At home write a vertical line down a sheet of typing paper.
On one side put pros, or reasons it would work out and reasons it would be good if it did. On the other side put cons, or reasons she might reject you and things that would go wrong if you two began dating romantically.
In other words - put on paper the 'what ifs'. Then you can begin to look at things more clearly. If the possible cons do not outweigh the possible pros then maybe risk it. And just remember everyone has gone through this type of thing - been rejected, had their heart broken, or even found the person of their dreams. It's also possible it would be somewhere in between and you'd just date a while and then taper off eventually and break up. That's how most things seem to go.
But one thing I can tell you for sure is the things I regret looking back on when I was your age are the things where I still ask myself, 'What if'?
You will never know unless you try. Don't let her be one you think about in 20 or 30 years and ask yourself, "what if I had tried?".
Except the sea is so polluted...
Why so serious? but seriously this isn't really a healthy attitude. Let loose, relax, put on a smile and just enjoy a day, just one. You never know what may happen to you.
I'm not sure if you're just nervous and unconfident or if you're saying you're too 'love sick' to be able to function around her. We had a thread about limerence a while back, that's the horrible love-sick, obsessed thing.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Limerence
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Limerence
Yeah, that's it. Hope they find the cure, cause it is actually quite a lame thing, really, it must be caused by bug in brain functioning or something like that.
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The problem with asking her out is... that besides of whatever anxieties I got, I actually think I don't really want to date, the ultimate objective of asking her out would be dating, but if I don't want dating... err, this is confusing. I also think that sit is taken, aka she's got a bf...
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I have fallen for a girl and the situation is quite terrible. First of all, I have figured out I have absolutely no chance, and I have decided I will not try, etc. I also think the whole dating thing is not something I am interested of right now, etc. So, under a rational point of view, the best thing to do is to stop liking this person so much.
The problem is freaking emotional side, you know, when I see her I have absolutely no way not to look like horribly interested and it distracts me up greatly , the big problem here is that she is often around my college and we share some classes. I think my reactions are quite obvious and they are probably freaking her out, or it could be that she has no idea, I have no way to read these things, you know? What's worse is that after this whole thing, the result is depression, well, perhaps not really depression but an utter sense of sadness.
But really, the best would be to find a way to forget it or block it. Something tells me I'll find experienced people that were able to handle this here .
You could try just intellectualizing the desire. Sufficient introspection makes any impulse, want, emotion, whatever, completely impotent.
Doing this is habit forming and may have depersonalizing results. Do not take in excess, do not operate heavy machinery.
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* here for the nachos.
I've been doing this for years, blocking emotions, blocking physical pain. The key is mainly to think about that single thing itself. Just stop and think about it. Not what it means to the brain. Think about what it truly means, maybe you'll understand.
The main emotion I am subject to is rage - I can take a couple if bad things, but multiple and I go ape.
Love is a harder emotion to block than most people think. If you think about what love is, maybe you can understand it. Maybe look at it from a third person view instead. Most love is physical, what is the first thing you look for by default? I am sure it's gender before anything else.
I've come across girls, I like a fair amount, I get their numbers, but I don't go on with it. I just treat them as I would any other person. There is no real need to treat them different although standard society doesn't agree. And girls like to be treated differently. I am talking about the gentleman thing....
Maybe I'm babbling now, and maybe a few comments on this - but hey ho, my perspective for you
If you really really do NOT want to date her...And can't absolve yourself of the desire to be with her at the same time...
First, be sure you don't want to date her.
If you're still sure you don't...
Then act like a total dork or jerk in front of her. You will soon be out of the running and relieved of the dilemma.
I've heard that depression is caused by irreconcilable conflicting emotions. I think that's true. Maybe yours is coming from the dilemma of whether or not you can handle dating her.
The other option is change inside so you feel you can handle dating her.
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