Does the internet satisfy your need for human contact?

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roygerdodger
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08 Aug 2008, 6:21 pm

For me, yes.



happypuff
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08 Aug 2008, 6:30 pm

Throughout high school I had no real life friends.

The internet was a good substitute, it made things bearable, but I still felt lonely. I spent about 5 years of my life on neopets (yeah, lol) and while I wasn't exactly popular (by choice, after one of my friends who went down that road confided all the backstabbing stories etc in me) I was well-known enough in the places I went to.
I think the reason why it wasn't overly fulfilling was because among my band of misfit friends, we had the common end result (all spending way too much time on this site achieving nothing and not going out in RL much) but completely different backgrounds as to why we were there. They were great, understanding people, but I couldn't connect intellectually with them, a lot of them had dropped out of school whereas I'm probably going to end up with all sorts of letters after my name.

Then I managed to find a forum aimed for people completing their final years of highschool for my state's curriculum (place where you can get help/resources for your subjects first and foremost), but in the site's associated IRC channel I have finally found friends that satisfy my needs, probably because we're all about the same age, all live within 50km from each other with a few exceptions, and they're clever.

I don't feel much of a need for regular RL human contact but I somehow managed to find friends in my first year of university which is good as well :P



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08 Aug 2008, 7:39 pm

The Internet!

WP most of all.

There is something to say for people in person, and much against the idea.

I would think age and interest define it. The young need humans to become one, to learn the, "How do I get by on this planet?"

Most older people prefer less social contact, and get good at filtering out the masses around, shopping, traffic, work, they gravitate to small and comfortable social/emotional support networks.

I am a little different than most, I have strong interests, read what the world has published on the subject, and though I know their work, I have never met any of the other people with an interest in the same field. What contact I have, internet, is around the subject, not ourselves as persons.

It is a world of ideas, parts of humans, and best left that way.

In person, a person is their history, family, economics, health, and a thousand points of view. Human friends tend to match these traits.

Not only do I lack the common traits, I am not like others of my area, I am well read, traveled, have a different world view, and I have very strong interests in a few subjects. No one is like me.

On WP I find people not like me, that have some of the same intense questions, the same "other universe" life experinces, and on these points we do have matching traits, perhaps just one, but it means more to me than a thousand life long friends who I have little in common with.

Young people seem to have grown knowing about autism, I was one of a kind, just weird, till discovering WP at 60. I had heard of it, that low public perception, seen Rainman, but had no identity with it, till I came here and learned the many flavors of thought.

The Internet opened the world to me, I sell online, there I do not have any of the people problems I have had all my life, on the Internet they act normal, and are just good customers, in person, it does not work like that.

On the Internet I find people who share my interests, and we work together to expand our knowledge.

On WP I find a shared Neurology that while different, has a sameness, this is my planet. It is not just me, you are all weird! Even the NT's who come here are mostly just good customers.

So the Internet has given me a Neurological world of millions, that beats being the only one.

It has given me access to world business on an equal footing, more than equal, for my skills and the Internet match well.

It has given me contact with interest groups, often the leading thinkers in the field. I can find the latest research on subjects that are unknown anywhere near me.

It is the magic box that tells me how to, and where to buy supplies that just a few years ago, I would have had to spend years finding.

I was mostly repelled by people, had said my only friends were writers, mostly long dead, and now I find I like some parts of some people.

Let us not ruin a good thing by dragging along bodies, and the baggage that goes with them.

This idea exchange works.

As much as the Internet and WP has meant to me, the thought of meetups, seeing the whole of others, repels me.

I have limited time and energy for dealing with people in the flesh. I will continue doing it when I want, for my own reasons, and very limited.

I agree with Ryn, I like to be the stranger who shows up, dines alone, gets through a limited interaction, tips well and leaves. I like Sushi, for they barely speak English, and see all westerners as strange. For an hour, I fit in.



corroonb
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08 Aug 2008, 7:51 pm

Inventor wrote:

There is something to say for people in person, and much against the idea.



All of your post is great as usual but I liked this part in particular.

I too enjoy selling on the internet, I do it through eBay.

I spent 8 months in Korea and its amazing how liberating it is to be in a country where nobody approaches you and you can't understand any of the chit chat. I also love eating alone and watching movies alone, I don't understand how these things can be considered group activities.

Thanks for your enlightening post.



Jennyfoo
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08 Aug 2008, 9:40 pm

I am completely satisfied with the social interaction I have with people on the internet. However, I am married and have 4 kids too.



NeantHumain
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08 Aug 2008, 11:11 pm

In a way, it reminds me of how lonely I am. No, contact over the Internet does not satisfy my need for human contact. I get some at work, but they're more acquaintanceships than friendships.



kitsunetsuki
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09 Aug 2008, 12:25 am

In ways yes in other ways no , I have people I can be in the presence of not touching so much as in the same room, I seem to need that or I feel terribly alone, but intellectually I can feel quite satisfied by interactions online. My cat is nice for physical contact though he loves to sit close and sometimes he is better then people, just lacks in conversation .



ooOoOoOAnaOoOoOoo
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09 Aug 2008, 12:37 am

I am sure most of us have human contact. We just don't always know how to handle it. Sometimes we don't want it if the human contacting happens to be a first rate jerk.

The internet is nice because I don't have to deal with the jerks as intensely and they might not know what my weaknesses are since I can conceal where I am vulnerable. Since they don't know they aren't nearly as horrid as they can be when on more intimate terms.



Danielismyname
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09 Aug 2008, 12:44 am

More than enough.

(I don't have human contact. The whole Autism thingy; which I don't mind, as my interest is far more interesting than people are.)



Dart
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09 Aug 2008, 1:24 am

No, I often have a hard time connecting with people even over the Internet.



cruachan
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09 Aug 2008, 2:16 pm

Internet communication is just as adequate as IRL communication - just easier.


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marshall
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09 Aug 2008, 3:06 pm

There are advantages and disadvantages to internet communication.

It definitely feels more “real” on the internet with strangers then when I talk to strangers in real life. The anonymity makes it way easier to discuss deeper more personal issues. In real life people are not comfortable being honest or deep unless they know you very well. If they don’t know you well all they want to do is shallow chit-chat which I’m terrible at and hate.

The major disadvantage is that the internet isn’t really one-on-one / real-time interaction ever. I do need to be able to respond to people in real-time to feel strongly connected. Forums like this are just too slow and sometimes impersonal. It doesn’t really get at the deepest loneliness I feel.



LostInEmulation
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09 Aug 2008, 3:32 pm

Marshall, how about you come to the IRC channel of Wrongplanet? It is real time and if you use queries one to one?


For me, yes, the 'net suffices. People called me addicted to the internet, but that is not true. I was cut off from social interactions pretty much my entire childhood and now I have a way to communicate, to interact, to connect with people, who understand me and whom I understand. When psychologists want to cut me off that, I feel as if they want to sentence me to solitary confinement.


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marshall
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09 Aug 2008, 3:44 pm

LostInEmulation wrote:
Marshall, how about you come to the IRC channel of Wrongplanet? It is real time and if you use queries one to one?


For me, yes, the 'net suffices. People called me addicted to the internet, but that is not true. I was cut off from social interactions pretty much my entire childhood and now I have a way to communicate, to interact, to connect with people, who understand me and whom I understand. When psychologists want to cut me off that, I feel as if they want to sentence me to solitary confinement.


I could try that. The only problem is I'm not particularly good at typing real time. I think way too long before I write something out.



Hodor
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09 Aug 2008, 6:04 pm

Actually, I prefer real-life interaction to internet interaction. It sounds weird, but I suck at making friends on the internet. I find it hard to initiate conversations and develop online friendships. Maybe it's to do with the fact that I can't see the people I'm talking to, and that I can't see their facial expressions (not that I'm great at reading them) or hear their tone of voice. I also find that it's all too easy to misinterpret what someone's saying on the internet, even with using emoticons.

Problem is, I also kinda suck at making friends in the real world. It's a Catch 22.


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trewissick
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10 Aug 2008, 7:29 am

somewhat- id like to have real friends, but find it hard a lot of the time. its easier online.


ditto about minority interests- much easier online.
though id also like to show people in real life some of the things i collect- not just post pictures.

it worries me more in terms of the bigger picture- how will i marry, have children? move back into normal life? i speak to noone, really. tis is definatly unhealthy for me...

i like the fedora lounge, the social club.



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