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Viola
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17 Aug 2008, 8:39 pm

I'm restarting college as a freshman this year. It will be my first time living away from my family.

I was wondering what all you guys think about dating while you are in college. I will be at a very good school, and I need to make sure that I take ful advantage of the education that is be offered. I'm definately planning on having friends, if I can find some, but I'm not sure about the idea of having a boyfriend. I've only had one before, and I haven't ever been asked out, so this might not end up being an issue, but I want to have an idea of what I think is best before a situation comes up, and sometimes it helps me to hear what other people think.

Thanks.


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Tim_Tex
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17 Aug 2008, 8:41 pm

I had a girlfriend my freshman year (but she and I were dating my junior and senior years in high school).

I made As and Bs that semester.

Everyone's experiences are different, that's about all I can say. Just try it. You have nothing to lose.


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17 Aug 2008, 8:56 pm

Cool, hope you have fun. :D

I imagine at the place you are at, there will be a big diversity in the people there so you may have no problems finding people you want to be friends with.

As for me, I've never dated in college because there really isn't anyone around here I'd want to bother with. I know I have to step outside of the box so to speak, but I have to maintain my boundaries too. I hate to use labels but the only kind of people around here are "preps" and "jocks." I don't want anything to do with any of them. Besides, it's not like the women here are fighting over me anyway. If they are, it's because they are fighting each other for the chance to get out of dating me. :roll:

Make sure you keep up your boundaries as well. :)


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NeantHumain
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17 Aug 2008, 9:05 pm

Academics are important, but social stuff has its place too. College for me was a miserable experience because the social aspect and the romance were missing.



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17 Aug 2008, 9:07 pm

It happens.

that's the best way I can put it.

dating in college is like second nature, because it will happen, eventually.

Most of my close friends are either dating, engaged, or married, and they're all my age (20-22) range..


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Praetorius
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17 Aug 2008, 10:11 pm

Just take easy classes and party hard. A degree is a degree!



Gamester
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17 Aug 2008, 11:43 pm

Praetorius wrote:
Just take easy classes and party hard. A degree is a degree!


don't listen to Praetorious.

No.

But here's the way I've learned it.

Half the time, you are bound to end up bumping into a girl on campus who you end up becoming good friends with, per my example.

and now, story time with Gamester, todays story is brought to you by Panera Bread company.


Freshman year, I actually had this happen to me. We have a basement coffee joint on campus that's open only at night(since it's student run organization) and it has a n64 down there and one of the games everyone likes is the n64 smash bros.....we have four controllers, so there are people there at all odds of the night playing, because its fun. I think I was down there watching 24, yes. I was. or something, I was watching something, because I was waiting for the Homecoming week festivities to happen( for some odd reason they don't start until 8 or 9 at night during homecoming week, which is in February at my college) and this random asian girl who went to Fox came in and started talking to me.

I didn't find it odd; it wasn't til she started going on about Anime and youtube and Naruto that I was a bit..."er?" and so we talked for a bit. I asked her if she was single, in a roundabout way, "whats a nice beautiful girl such as yourself doing here talking to me?" I think was how I put it, I don't remember. But anyhow, as I get up to leave, she gives me her Aim address( this is two years ago by the way, so I know I'm missing stuff) and I give her mine.

turns out she's a junior. so I let it go. I see her again a day later or so, when I go to the school cafeteria for dinner( she's a server there) and so we eat dinner together, cause she's about to get off. Anyhow, I start coming in earlier on some days to eat dinner with her because she takes it at 5 and works til 8. and we start hanging out almost nightly or so.

March comes around and I ask her to come with me to my cousins musical that they were in, they were doing fiddler on the Roof, and both my cousins, plus a few other people who I know who are firends of my cousins are in it. Ends up she knows a few of the people in the production since they went to high school together. so that's that, and whatnot, March runs through it's courses, and April comes along. At this point in the game, my RA who also worked (he graduated that year) in the school cafeteria (and others as well who knew us) start casually asking if we're going out. I

ronically, everyone assumes at this point that she and I are dating. which we aren't. Most of the time we spend our time watching Yu-Gi Oh abridged or playing Super Smash Bros( To this day, I haven't beat her yet...) in the basement coffee house. she and I also have a class together, and everyone pretty much knows that we sit together, not only that, but no one ever takes the seat to the left of me, because I guess it was an unspoken thing that she was going to sit next to me.

Couple times she has been late to class, because she slept through it(she was a commuter student; she lived in town at her parents place, even though she got free everything since all her family worked on campus) and both times I had to call her to make sure she was okay.

Anyhow. the week or so before the spring formal, I ask her to the dance, two weeks before the dance actually. She was also a very sarcastic person as well, so it was hard to know sometimes when she was serious. so two weeks before hand, I ask her to the dance, and she says yes.

The week of the dance, a tuesday to be exact, we were in the lobby of my dorm, cause it wasn't floor hours yet, playing cards, and the documentary crew was filming me(Oh yes, forgot to mention that, will do sometime later, long story) and I said I needed to go take a nap, I asked if we could hang out later after the nap. The reason I said a nap, was cause I needed a chance to think. I'd harbored feelings for her for a while, and as such I wanted to ask her out.

so I went an took a nap, and then called her, asking her to meet me in the basement, half an hour later or so, she came down there, and I asked her out. She said she needed to think about it, which in my life is No, but I don't want to hurt you.

You'd think that'd be the end of it. wouldn't you? that I'd be rejected and end up needing to find a new date. well this is a tuesday, and I don't see her for a day, because of the whole my asking her out, sort of a mutually agreed upon break, thursday after class we talk. she says, "I can't date you now, because it's the end of the school year and you're going back home and I'm staying here, but the new school year is right around the corner, we'll talk about it then." I tell my RA and another RA who happen to know her, and he smiles and says, "Well, you got your foot in the door, it's a start."

we continue to hang out and eventually I meet her mom, somehow I don't remember how I meet her the first time.........Oh wait, it's the fact that she came to pick her up one night and I was introduced. so anyhow, the rest of that week goes by in which I have to get my tux and whatnot(the town used to have a tux rental place, but they went out of business...sigh..) and I dye my hair. I don't tell her this of course, because not many know that I'm doing it. This happens on a saturday, the before formal. I have to work that saturday night as an usher. her mom sees me there, and comments on the hair. so when I go over the next afternoon to pick her up to go to dinner(reservations made at 3 that afternoon) her first comment is a look of surprise at me going blond.

The rest of the night is fun, and then the next day is the beginning of finals week. I don't see her Monday, because she's studying. though I see her at points throughout the rest of the week, and we hang out, she actually shows up looking for me twice, a couple of times, at another dorm cause I'm not at mine, and we end up hanging out.

School is now over by this point, but I stick around for the May session to get math out of the way. she and I hang out as well. The last night before I leave, she Ims me and says "I'm coming over around 6, I'm taking you out for Ice Cream" this was because I had gotten an A in math, which if you knew me very well, me and Math are not friends, I had failed the first two tests in the class, passed the quizes, and studied hard for the final........which I didn't need to bother, an 8th grader could of passed it. so yeah. Oh and we also go to see Spiderman three together during the may sesh(her first, my second, since i saw it opening night at midnight at the local theatre....biggest mistake, but since it was a friday morning, I was able to take a nap in the afternoon after class) plus she comes over and visits as well once or twice.

Anyhow, once I leave for home, she leaves for her summer camp where she's a leader at. we talk a bit once a week on the phone during the summer, til an old flame comes home and we start dating, and I forget about her......which probably was a mistake I think I'll regret later.

Fast forward to christmas of this year. I'm in the common area of the student union building, on my way to hang out with some firends, and wait for floor hours so as I can give a friend a Christmas card and a rose, a new tradition that i started, just to remind people that they're appreciated even at Christmas, and not just valentine's. I stop to chat with one of my friends who inquires about the rose, and that leads back to Christmas dance, and in walks that girl from freshman year. I watch as she comes in, because I think she looks familiar, and I say something along the lines of "I think I saw a ghost." and my friend looks at the girl, then looks back at me, looks at the rose and says to me, "Yeah, that's her, the girl you did ask out." I ditch the rose with my friend, and go over and talk to her for a few minutes.

The first question out of her mouth is, "Why didn't you call me?" my friend is listening, and she later scolds me as well. I don't know how to answer, so I lie fast, "I was buzy, work got hard, and most days I was lucky if I got off at Six, and I didn't know your schedule, and so...yeah." I wasn't about to tell her I had let her go to date another girl, even though I had asked her out....catastrophic disaster that would have been had I told the truth....though it was partially the truth. She actually calls my phone right there and then, and says, "Well you still have my number." and I wince internally on that one. she gets up to leave cause she has to meet someone, and we part ways. My friend who still has my rose, gives it back to me and says, "Well that went well, you're still alive." I tell her that i feel like a complete idiot because I dated another girl even though I had asked her out.


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Phagocyte
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17 Aug 2008, 11:45 pm

Praetorius wrote:
Just take easy classes and party hard. A degree is a degree!


Only if you're a business major.

Oh no I di'n't!


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Praetorius
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17 Aug 2008, 11:48 pm

Dating in college is like total easymode... These girls are finally free from their parents and they want to do all of the things that they couldn't do at home. They go around buying things like there's no tomorrow, they go to parties all the time, and they go around looking to get... Ah, I can't say it. I've already been warned that I'm about to be banned.

You just have to play the game. They want to play it with you; they want to be seduced.



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17 Aug 2008, 11:59 pm

Too bad I go to a college with a 4:1 male to female ratio... such is the sacrifice I have to make to get a good IT degree...

On the flip side, most on-campus activities other than the career fairs are gamer tournaments, usually around Halo, Super Smash Bros, and Guitar hero...



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18 Aug 2008, 12:34 am

ToadOfSteel wrote:
Too bad I go to a college with a 4:1 male to female ratio... such is the sacrifice I have to make to get a good IT degree...

On the flip side, most on-campus activities other than the career fairs are gamer tournaments, usually around Halo, Super Smash Bros, and Guitar hero...


Halo 3? I assume and Super Smash Bros Brawl? as well?


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Praetorius
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18 Aug 2008, 1:03 am

ToadOfSteel wrote:
Too bad I go to a college with a 4:1 male to female ratio... such is the sacrifice I have to make to get a good IT degree...
Ouch. My school has like a 3:2 female to male ratio. Although I'm in the engineering program, so that's mostly guys, I can still hang out with all the sophisticated artsy girls in the other programs.



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18 Aug 2008, 1:10 am

You can't focus entirely on school, no matter what they tell you. You need to have a life outside of that.

My situation this past year wasn't conducive to a social life, and I went damn near insane because of it. Even being an Aspie, I needed more contact than I had. Now I'm on antidepressants. Fun.



ToadOfSteel
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18 Aug 2008, 1:23 am

Blasty wrote:
You can't focus entirely on school, no matter what they tell you. You need to have a life outside of that.

My situation this past year wasn't conducive to a social life, and I went damn near insane because of it. Even being an Aspie, I needed more contact than I had. Now I'm on antidepressants. Fun.


Social contact isn't a problem for me, since I'm fairly active at my church.

Dating though, since I'm practically the only active person in the age range of 18-30, is nigh impossible there...



IpsoRandomo
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18 Aug 2008, 2:16 am

Praetorius wrote:
Just take easy classes and party hard. A degree is a degree!


F-u-c-k_t-a-r-d

Edit: I hate how the admin censor everything



TheBladeRoden
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18 Aug 2008, 2:32 am

Dating in college was always asstastic for me, the same as any other phase of my life.

I guess those girls just didn't get the memo thet they were supposed to be easier now.


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