Looking for love with Asperger

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Hello All,

This is my first time posting to this (or any) website. Although I have never been officially diagnosed with Asperger Syndrome by a dcotor, I am pretty darn sure that it is responsible for my behavioral patterns that some people might find...well...strange. I am a 39 year old male, and I am trying to break into the Information Technology (IT) field. I learned about Asperger Syndrome a few years ago quite by accident. I was reading a magazine article about autism, and the article mentioned this syndrome with this funny sounding name (let's face it, "Asperger" is a funny sounding word) and its socially-impairing symptoms. To make a short story long, it didn't take me long to compare the symptoms of Asperger Syndrome against my own experiences.

There have been many times in my life where I have entered a room full of people (yikes!) and I just didn't know how to negotiate such treacherous social terrain because I would just be totally overwhelmed. I just had no instincts to guide me. By the same token, I have witnessed several of my peers (as opposed to "friends") walk in to the same room of people and they would just instinctually know what to do, and they seemed to handle social interaction with ease.

Currently, I am at a point where I can handle polite party conversation. When it comes to tough business negotiations or working in a sales environment, however, that's when the symptoms of Asperger Syndrome become apparent. As a result, I have become quite soured to working in a sales or customer service job. At this point, I am concerned with dealing with Asperger Syndrome in the workplace and in relationships. Unfortunately, not a lot of people know about Asperger Syndrome, and those that do tend to treat the condition as little more than a weak excuse for "not living up to one's full potential" (whatever that means).

I am single, but I have dated and even had a few relationships (nothing that I would brag about, though). I also have a small but good group of friends. At this point in my life, I would love to be married and be raising a family even though I often question my abilities to handle those situations. I came of age in the 1980's, and I found the "dating scene" at the time (more like the "snag it, bag it, and give it cab fare scene") to be frightening and dangerous territory. Especially if you don't know how to negotiate basic social situations and you don't even know why.

Indeed, there have been many times in my life where I felt that I was on the "Wrong Planet". I would be willing to listen to any insights on the issues I have mentioned.

Man am I glad I didn't grow up in the 1980's.

Wish I had some and I grew up in the 80's myself and am just as clueless... and of course I've nothing in common with anyone around my age which makes things even worse as the ones I do enjoy talking with that share my interests are 10-15 years younger...