The 1992 "Girls Guide to Geek (read: aspie!) Guys

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WaxDeejay
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24 Aug 2008, 9:30 pm

Hi gang!

This thing is dated to be sure, but there is a lot of truth in it. I submit
this for your consideration and hopefully, your great amusement.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

A Girl's Guide to Geek Guys
By Mikki Halpin and Victoria Maat (1992)
-------------------------------------------

So, your crush on the bass player from Vibrating Sandbox has finally died a whimpering death and you're wondering where to go from here. All the sinister dudes are either dating a series of interchangeable high-school riot grrls in baby doll dresses and an overdose of manic panic, or permanently shacked up with some bitter old lady who pays all the bills. Which will it be, a wifely prison or a humiliating one-night stand? Into this void of potential mates comes a man you may not have considered before, a man of substance, quietude and stability, a cerebral creature with a culture all his own. In short, a geek.

Why Geek Dudes Rule:

1. They are generally available.
2. Other women will tend not to steal them.
3. They can fix things.
4. Your parents will love them.
5. They're smart.

Where The Geek Dude Lurks

While they are often into alternative music, geek dudes tend not to go to shows too often. Instead you'll find them hanging out with their friends, discussing the latest hardware revolution or perfecting their Bill Gates impressions. You know how some people wear T-shirts with their favorite bands on them, thus showing that they went to certain shows? Well, geek dudes wear T-shirts with the logos of different software companies on them, thus showing that they are up on the latest, um... releases.

A small, though convivial, rivalry may be detected here amongst the geek dudes. Try wearing one yourself and see if he strikes up a conversation. Of course the best way to meet a geek dude is through the Internet. All geeks harbor a secret fantasy about meeting some girl in cyberspace, carrying on an e-mail romance in which he has the chance to combine an activity he is comfortable with, computing, with one he is very uncomfortable with, socializing.

To many geek dudes, cyber-dating is just an advanced form of some kind of video game, but they are frustrated by a lack of players. Their lack is your strength. Imprinting You might notice that these men harbor some strange ideas about how the world works and some particularly strange ideas about women. There is a reason for this. Because they've had limited interpersonal experience, geek dudes must look elsewhere for behavior models.

Lacking a real world social milieu, geeks often go through a transference stage with such narratives, and try to model their interactions on them. Thus, certain media images and themes come to have an overly cathected, metaphorized reality to them, while the rest of us view such programming as mere entertainment.

Case in point, our next topic... The Trek factor

If you're not up on your Star Trek, you can forget about getting or keeping a geek dude. And I'm not just talking vintage-era Captain Kirk and Spock either. You've got to be up on your The Next Generation, your Deep Space Nine, your Babylon 5. Armed with your own knowledge of Federation policies, you can better gauge when and how to act. The sexual politics of Star Trek are pretty blunt: the men run the technology and the ship, and the women are caretakers (a doctor and a counselor). Note the sexual tensions on the bridge of the Enterprise: the women, in skin tight uniforms, and with luxuriant, flowing hair. The men, often balding, and sporting some sort of permanently attached computer auxiliary.

This world metaphorizes the fantasies of the geek dude, who sees himself in the geeky-but-heroic male officers and who secretly desires a sexy, smart, Deanna or Bev to come along and deferentially accept him for who he is. If you are willing to accept that this is his starting point for reality, you are ready for a geek relationship.

Once You've Nabbed Him

Of course, catching that geek guy is only half the battle. Keeping him by your side is another story altogether. I was privileged to speak with Miss Victoria Maat, who not only got herself a geek guy but was also clever enough to marry him just a few short months ago. She interrupted her newlywed bliss to give us a few tips on the care and feeding of a geek man:

Geeks are sensitive and caring lovers and husbands. If you can hang with the techno-lifestyle, they make the best mates. They are the most attractive people, not flashy or hunky, but the kind who get cuter and more alluring over time (I told you she was a newlywed). Definitely give geeks a chance.

Geek Cuisine

Geeks tend towards packaged, junk foods since they prefer to work and think and aren't all that into cooking for themselves. Make sure that your geek understands that you are not merely a replicator, and provide him with home cooked food. A batch of chocolate chip cookies will let him know that you love him. You do have to monitor your geek for weight gain; however, remember that most of their days are spent sitting and staring at a monitor.

Geek Lifestyle

The geek dude has long work habits and tends to bring his work home with him. He seems permanently connected to his hard disk. You must at least appear interested in his work. Generally, a solid understanding of the computer is a must; if you cannot master this, you should at least be able to talk the talk. Remember most geeks are anal and they get stressed about details, which appear insignificant. Be understanding, put on your best Deanna Troi face (see above) and empathize.

To relax, geeks love to play the latest computer games. Let him play Myst or Chuck Yeager's Air Combat for hours if he wants to. Act concerned if he's stuck or has just been ambushed by three MiGs. My geek loves to try to help people on the Internet who say that they are stuck in Myst. He comes up with clever riddles instead of directing them point blank. Geeks also like to go to sci-fi and Japanese animated movies, again, a basically harmless vent for your man.

Geek Buddies

Many geeks extend their work friendships into what they jokingly refer to as RL (Real Life, also known as "that big room with the ceiling that is sometimes blue and sometimes black with little lights"). The greatest thing about your geek's buddies is that you can feel secure in setting them up with your girlfriends. They may feel awkward around females at first, so don't overwhelm them. In time they will come out of their shell and realize that you are into the same things they are.

------------------------------------

A Post-It Note: (from Mikki)

I thank Victoria for the above advice. I must say that when she read my draft of the piece, before writing her section, she asked her husband which one he thought she was more like, Deanna or Beverly. Howard, the devil, immediately replied that he had always thought Victoria was actually most like Ensign Ro Laren, a cute character with a slight authority problem who has always had trouble (this is fairly apt). This exchange is interesting for several reasons: Howard had already thought about who she was most like. He could summon up characters from seasons past with ease. Victoria actually knew who he meant.

Folks, I think this marriage will last.

Oh, One Last Thing

Because they have been so abused and ignored by society, many geeks have gone underground. You may actually know some and just haven't noticed them. They often feel resentful, and misunderstood, and it is important to realize this, as you grow closer to them. Don't ever try to force the issue, or make crazy demands that he choose between his computer and you. Remember, his computer has been there for him his whole life; you are a new interloper he hasn't quite grasped yet. Geek dudes thrive on mystery and love challenges and intellectual puzzles. Don't you consider yourself one? Wouldn't you like a little intellectual stimulation or your own?

We thought so!



Praetorius
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24 Aug 2008, 10:44 pm

Lol. If only we could convince them to like us!



tomamil
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25 Aug 2008, 1:22 am

very funny. although i do love start trek, i would not mind if the girl did not. but i am not a teenager anymore. its pity, as the beginning says, that the girls see us as the last resort. most of them have to actually grow up to realize that with us, as fathers of their kids and husbands, they have much more to gain. i see it now in my late twenties.



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25 Aug 2008, 1:43 am

Why Geek Dudes Rule:

Quote:
1. They are generally available.


That doesn't concern the girls because the available guy is the one who should initiate in the first place.


Quote:
2. Other women will tend not to steal them.


Girls won't like that idea because it's an indication of the male's unattractivness. Usually girls love to boast about how attractive/important their bfs are.How peers think about the Bf is something very important to most girls.

Quote:
3. They can fix things.


That's something ....but girls won't marry someone based on his fixing-things skills.


Quote:
4. Your parents will love them.


Parents would prefer someone more sociable.

Quote:
5. They're smart.

Only if they make good money from their 'smartness'.



Last edited by LePetitPrince on 25 Aug 2008, 2:22 am, edited 1 time in total.

tomamil
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25 Aug 2008, 2:02 am

lol, the little prince, very good points you have there. i agree.



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25 Aug 2008, 7:02 am

LePetitPrince wrote:
...

:lol: Always the optimist...


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LePetitPrince
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25 Aug 2008, 7:23 am

pessimism is the realistic optimism



ProtossX
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25 Aug 2008, 7:31 am

letpetitprince is 100% right on all his points girls are usually very superficial the hotter they are now the uglier they get imo the less superficial they get

so theoritically you're going to have geeky ugly girls dating geeky ugly guys

which sux for a aspie that wants a more attractive girl



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25 Aug 2008, 7:32 am

LePetitPrince wrote:
pessimism is the realistic optimism

Yeah, but does it get ya' laid? :D

I know. I used to be much more realistic. I also used to be much more depressed.

I've seen studies that show that while realistic people make more accurate predictions about future outcomes than optimistic people do, they also suffer higher rates of depression. I decided that it was more important to me to be happy than it was to be right.


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25 Aug 2008, 7:33 am

Quote:
3. They can fix things.

Because women can't fix things themselves? Stop being sexist.


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MrMark
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25 Aug 2008, 7:36 am

I recently met a woman who I think is very beautiful, and she's a PhD, and she seems to be interested in me.

Of course, I have a old man's patience.

"You are a young man, eager to start, quick to finish!"

:)


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LePetitPrince
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25 Aug 2008, 7:53 am

MrMark wrote:
LePetitPrince wrote:
pessimism is the realistic optimism

Yeah, but does it get ya' laid? :D

I know. I used to be much more realistic. I also used to be much more depressed.

I've seen studies that show that while realistic people make more accurate predictions about future outcomes than optimistic people do, they also suffer higher rates of depression. I decided that it was more important to me to be happy than it was to be right.


Hey, I am not depressed. I am just indicating that this 'guide' gives false hopes to the male geeks here.



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25 Aug 2008, 7:56 am

MrMark wrote:
I decided that it was more important to me to be happy than it was to be right.

couldn't agree more


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LePetitPrince
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25 Aug 2008, 7:59 am

Drakilor wrote:
Quote:
3. They can fix things.

Because women can't fix things themselves? Stop being sexist.


There's nothing in the thread indicates that girls can't fix things themselves.

It's just stating the fact that geek guys can fix many things (like geek girls)

But this silly guide is called "A Girl's Guide to Geek Guys" and not "A Boy's guide to Geek girls" ,see? So if it was the latter then it would be mentioned that geek girls fix things

You are the one with a sexist mind.



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25 Aug 2008, 8:10 am

LePetitPrince wrote:
Drakilor wrote:
Quote:
3. They can fix things.

Because women can't fix things themselves? Stop being sexist.


There's nothing in the thread indicates that girls can't fix things themselves.

If they can fix things themselves, then why is it listed as a notable advantage?

LePetitPrince wrote:
But this silly guide is called "A Girl's Guide to Geek Guys" and not "A Boy's guide to Geek girls" ,see? So if it was the latter then it would be mentioned that geek girls fix things

You are the one with a sexist mind.

No, I'm pretty sure they wouldn't have mentioned the part about fixing things if the situation was reversed.


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