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MeloJag
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25 Aug 2008, 10:57 pm

I know life is complicated. I KNOW, i know. Its complicated for everyone, NT's included. We know the truth that its more complicated for us and thats not just an excuse or a cop out. I've learned that i simply shouldn't express this to people becuz they think ur complaining and no one likes that (myself included). But lets get real IT IS more complicated for us on the spectrum.

So what im asking is (becuz I do realize im probably complicating it more than needs be) how do you guys at least keep in check the anxiety that comes with day to day living. I guess what im really having trouble with is: at 25 years i finally have a solid (but not complete) idea of who
i am but i still havent been able to accept it. Anybody have anecdotes or wise words for dealing with accepting who you are.



BokeKaeru
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25 Aug 2008, 11:19 pm

The way I see it vis a vis self-acceptance is that I'm going to be me, more or less the way I was born and meant to be, for maybe an average of 70 years, could be less, could be more. I could spend my life constantly trying to be something and someone I'm not, or just wondering why I wasn't born normal, but that's a long time to regret something that happened that I had no choice in, and quite a waste of time, maybe not enough time, to do all the things I was meant to do as the person I am. Do I get angry at myself for doing something dumb or wrong, and do I wish that I was better at some things? Yeah, of course. But after throwing a pillow against a wall or ranting about it on the internet, I can go back to doing what I usually do, and hopefully next time I won't make that mistake.

As for day-to-day things - there are things that need to be done, like homework, feeding myself, my job, sleep, certain maintenance and chores, etc., and I do them, because I know that there is not the possibility of things being as they should be if they aren't done, and therefore failure to do them simply can't be considered as an option. They will get done by virtue of me knowing that they must be done. There are things that I like to do, and therefore I will do if at all possible, like be on the internet, talk to my friends, watch anime and work on art projects, and when I have time and enough motivation left over, I'll take care of those. The rest, "social" things that others expect of me but I don't think have any real impact on me or even them, I ignore to the extent that is possible. I take the complications out of my life as much as possible. Yes, sometimes things are difficult, or tedious, or even overwhelming when there are lots of things, but I don't let things complicated, as in incomprehensible or difficult to separate out and eventually understand. That wouldn't allow me to get things done.



tomamil
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26 Aug 2008, 3:30 am

why haven't you been able to accept it?


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Timeo hominem unius libri, I fear the man of one book, St. Thomas Aquinas.


2ukenkerl
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26 Aug 2008, 5:12 am

Just TRY to have the average NT live with a pack of wolves! THEY would find life quite hard as well!



JohnHopkins
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26 Aug 2008, 6:48 am

I deliberately challenge myself and go against the stereotype. I try new things, and even if I don't like them, at least I can say I tried them.



db05
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26 Aug 2008, 8:43 am

You said it. Life is complicated. How come you can't accept who you are? For me, that's the easy part. Though it took so long to realize that, because most of the time I'm anxious and not thinking clearly. Accepting yourself is easy. The hard part is being acceptable to others. Like you said, this is no excuse or cop-out. People expect things of me, but I don't really want anything... Okay, that's not helping... I need a break...