Wanting to be NT

Post Reply New Topic

You need just be Yourself that is what I was getting at. If You don't like being Yourself then can anybody Help You Then You at All. If You do not what the the Help. You what to be Aspie Then be Your own type Aspie then for that is What Life is then for Yourself as well for others here on the Wrong Planet too. We what to be Ourselves as You do is that so wrong I say no what do Do You say about that then.

End the in end you must care for YOU that is truly livings life don't You think. Live Life and become Life to to be Living such a Life to Learn what Life is then You can become Life by Living it.

Davius

Life is living it isn't So truly live it would You.

Apparently I am the only person who voted that I don't really care either way.

I don't even remember what I voted. It doesn't matter anyway, because none of the options truly fit me. I wish I hadn't had a lifetime of abuse, criticism, and ostracism for being different. I wish I hadn't been made out to be lazy, crazy, stupid, arrogant, overdramatic, etc. for not having "common sense" and "coping skills." It's going to take me forever to come to terms with the fact that most of the things I've learned to hate about myself have something to do with AS.

I wonder what life would be like if I could start all over again and be treated like a valuable person because - not in spite of - AS traits.

I wish I was a popular aspie who could get along in social situations.... impossible I know.

Can't imagine myself different from current self, poll confused me-didn't vote. Don't know how to separate out what's AS dx about me, compared with what's merely "personality" or "temperament". Grew up without any dx, was treated not-so-nice because of my particular peculiar uniqueness. Limitations not imposed by AS label but by my actual ongoing difficulties. Haven't managed to find a niche in life in which I fit. Haven't reached level of being okay with myself, feel disappointing & unsuccessful. Want to feel less like a failure & a reject, doubt that being "NT" would prevent such outcomes. It's all very unclear to me.

Davius, you have no idea how similar I've felt. Many times I've wished I could just be normal and not have to deal with some of the problems I've faced. However, I look at it like this: AS really isn't that different from difficulty learning to read. It does cause problems, but if you practice- whether it be reading or social skills- you will improve. Over the past year or so I've really noticed the social mistakes I had been making and I've worked to correct them. In the areas I have concentrated on, I have made substantial improvement and seen near immediate results. I would compare it to a race; the NTs all got a head start, but there's no reason you can't catch up if you put forth greater effort.

Another thing you mention is that you never feel satisfied and that you can't have everything you want. I feel the exact same way. AS seems to make people overanaylze everything, and leads to thinking like "if I only I had this..." or "if only I had done this..." I always feel insecure if someone has something or does something better than I do. I haven't really figured out what to do about this, I just supress these thoughts as much as I can. Now that I know that AS causes this, I can brush them off more easily as pointless worrying.

I've never wanted to be "normal," just accepted for who I am. I don't think I'd want to be normal because if I was, I might not have developed all of the unusual interests I have. In other words, I'd be dull.

Why can't we all just be who we are?

The very fact that there are forums like this one and the Aspie Hangout on Delphi make me proud to be an Aspie, not just because of the intellectual talents it gives me, but because of the community I'm now a part of. Though I still feel lonely sometimes, I no longer feel alone.

In a world with everyone striving to be "different" and better then the next guy...I find it comforting yet at the same time frustrating to be this way. The only real problem that I find myself in is in public situations, where I am an outsider. If, say, I were in a more controlled and familiar environment, then this condition would not prove itself to be such a bother. ..because in "my own world" I thrive instead of wilting.

Normal people are boring.

I want to be me.

I'd rather cure NT's of their condition, and make them be more like us!

I am proud that i know i think of my neurodiversity in a much less morally commendable way. I am damn glad that i'm not neurotypical.

I too wanted to be NT, but my big AS made me see that I was too different to become one in mind, body 'n soul. So now I'm just proud to be odd.

I never NEVER NEVER want to be like them. I mean that completely honestly. I'm an observer of NT society and I see nothing to be desired there. Sure being like them would help me get a job and get on with people. But I'd rather find a job and people tailored to me than tailor myself to them. I see NTs on the sidewalks all the time and they just look dead to me. I can't explain it. I came home one time crying out to my empty walls "Oh my god they're DEAD they're all dead!" I just don't see life in their carbon copy images or shallow thoughts. I see life in myself, laughing at my private jokes and not caring who sees, singing on the sidewalks, stopping in stores just to run my fingers over things, making up songs about the buses....They are so consumed with one another that they never know themselves. I don't envy them one bit. I'd rather have my insular world than their fake one any day.