Hi, my 13 yr old needs help.

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Umm... Anicho I don't going to prison for murder is going to help.

Although, I understand that you were joking but I don't think people that right now.


I have the same problem and I have to take medicine for the social anxiety it created for me.

Mostly, I'm bullied on the computer so, I just report them and then get off the computer.

I remember that my friend was being bullied in school once by people on the football team so he was going to fight them but instead he told the coach about it and the coach told the people that if they didn't stop that he'll kick them off the team. Another thing, you can do is compromise find out why they are harassing you in the first place; maybe you did something that they didn't like or maybe they are jealous of you for some reason. But, if you find out why they are harassing maybe you can work something out with them. I believe that's the mature way to handle things.

Ignoring "bullies" or telling on them will solve nothing. In fact, sometimes it makes things worse.
That said, I can't think of a solution that will not get your child in trouble. Especially if there are multiple tormentors and you have no friends to back you up. That goes for both physical defense and wit.
I'm so sorry for your son. I've been there before. The only way I could stop the torment was to leave. I wish you both the best of luck.
Children are bastards.

This deserves a bump. I still wish I knew these facts back then.

hi my son is a junior in HS and has had the same problems every year. I dont think there is away around it. What I would recommend is find someone in administration that can "watch his back". Someone that he can go to if he has a problem with another student. or even sit with during lunch to give him a break.

Oh and "ignoring the situations -never works" please dont tell him to ignore. my only regret was for years i gave this advise to my son.

if you live close by and can bring him home for lunch everyday, i would recommend it . give him the break so he can handle the rest of his day.

my son now on anti-depressants for anxiety which began in middle school. it has helped alot. never thought he would be, but he can cope better.

good luck.

im 13 and can understand your sons situation. im a 13 year old girl and have lots of problems with bullies but i just ignore them, for the most time, other times sarcastic, witty and smart comments work well,. fighting does nothing nor does swearing, it just makes you as bad as them, reacting as if your better, know more, have more things or are in some way more intelligent is really just stupid and a bit vain. Never hold grudges, if they do apologise accept and move on, they usually need to be coerced to apologise though...
I live in the U.K, and im not sure where you live but these rules are basically universal
Oh, and if violence/death threats/damage to property become's involved, tell a teacher but make sure you have names, after the 2nd time of complaining suspension will usually happen, i wasn't so eager to tell but a nice girl in my year decided to tell a teacher (i didn't know who had told at first) and that really helped to have a witness, for a suspension immediately you usually need, 1 or more witnesses to bullying, names of bullies, person being bullied to tell about what happened, and that's it really

I know where you're coming from, being a 16 year old lad who has had more than my fair share of bullying. There simply are no ways to deal with it without getting in sh*t or aggravating it, although ignoring them up to a point where they get too close, and a right hook to the jaw puts them out of school for a week and off your case.

It is hard to rise above all the punks and posers. As an adult I have issues with this still. I would encourage you and your son to realize how special and original he is, and the reason kids make fun is because they have to try to be cool and do the same thing as everyone else. They are the losers in life, truly. Your son is unique, different, and while this is no secret, it is the secret, that he can go farther and be things those skinny-minded jerk never can. They will work bad jobs and never have fun because they have no imagination. Your son is smarter than them.

One thing that really helps aspies is to help them come up with clever things to comeback with. Even though they may get made fun of, having something ready to say back can give us a sense of "holding your own" which can change the whole game. Help him see it as a game, have him obsess about how to win a bit, and he will start to have fun messing with those who mess with him. It really does work. I always found solace that I was smarter and got better grades than those jerks, and now, I am making more then all of them.

When I was in first grade, my dad told me that when "A friend" of mine would push me down, I should step on his feet, push him, and then get off his feet, to let him fall on his own, and it worked. My "friend" never messed with me again. Sometimes you've got to stoop to their level and match the method to earn enough respect, and sometimes nothing works. Aspies need constant reaffirmation that they are doing okay, to drown out the bad feelings and actions of others to damage us.

Above all, tell him to rock on!

Here's something that might help.
Find his talents as an aspie and focus on improving them. And don't tell anyone. Then, one day, when nobody expects it, he'll be bursting forth with hitherto unsuspected genius and interesting conversation topics.
For instance, not many people know I'm into foreign languages. One day I applied to have a german exchange student follow me around for one day only. In every class, me and the student would simply walk in prattling away in german. It almost immediately changed people's opinion of me. And still none know how close I am to a black belt...haha.
But for the time being, the best I can say is, he should just realize how much people don't know about his talents and that he is probably hundreds of times smarter than the people that are picking on him. But it's not something one really can just say to him and have him understand. I guess I just figured that out one day.

I've been on both sides of it, the bully and the bullied. The guy I bullied I later found out to be another Aspie which made me feel guilty but I know how the bullies mind works. It won't just stop because you ignore it, it's how you deal with it that matters. Like when I teased Jarrod his first reaction told me he cared when I did it. Later on he said he didn't mind so I increased it until he admitted it did. Had he ignored me for long enough I would have gotten bored and moved onto someone else. He just nees patience.

homeschooling is a bad idea. its better to get some experience. i like to look at aspergers (which i have) as just extra steps in learning. its the same thing as when your a toddler. for example, touch stove get burned, smack dog get bit, dirt tastes bad. i hope your son finds friends and maby a special girl like i was lucky enough to

I consider my 12 year stint in grade and high school to be the same as going to prison.
Packed in with the violent scum of society. But the police made me go and parents did not care.
"just get along" was what they said. The only thing bullys understand is more violence, then when you shut them up
and they are a bloody mess, then they complain LOL.

If you retreat, you are crushed. If you fight, you are attacked by the school and police. You cant win!
THE ONLY SOLUTION is to get out. School is for learning, not ego games.



Document the bullies, every hit, every insult, and the inaction of the school. Then pull him out and go to a small, quiet private school or home school.
When they complain about the loss of funding since he is leaving, (that is all they care about), then you have the proof of what
a violent place it is and that they do nothing about it.
In the USA it only takes a couple of hours each day to do the requirements. All free from harrasment and distractions.

No Aspie should ever have to suffer in a group school like I did.

you're completely right about school being a prison where kids are left to fend for themselves where the weak are preyed on and predators exist to victimize the weak kids. i just graduated high school, which you could say that i completed my "sentence" haha

I didn't have this luxury when I was akid and picked on in 7-8th grade, but here's what I'd suggest. Do any of the previous posters have an older brother? Does He play sports? My youngest son who is AS has the advantage of having an NT older brother who will be captain of his varsity wrestling team next year. They're both really good kids. My oldest son has recruited his wrestling buddies to look out for my youngest guy. If anyone messed with Jimmy, they'd have to answer to the Baltimore Lutheran Varsity Wrestling Squad.

To those of you picked on, find some kind hearted big fellows to help protect you.

no i have a younger brother and he is 15 and very NT so no backup for me there. I had to do it all on my own