23 Jan 2010, 4:03 pm
24 Jan 2010, 9:24 am
16 May 2010, 12:55 pm
01 Jun 2010, 12:39 am
Chrism929 wrote:
Hi Dhawal. I'm new here and I see you wrote this some time ago, so I'm not sure if this will be relevant to you now. Are you still writing? Have you finished the story?
I'm not from India but I lived there for some time when I was young, with my parents (they were academics) - near Bangalore, and then in Delhi - and I've had ties with the country ever since, and I can definitely see how your story is an Indian one. (By the way, I've read a lot of Indian authors and they're some of the finest writers in English.) But I also think people in other cultures, who are marginalized by different aspects of their personalities, could relate to your story as well - Aspies, gays, anyone who is differently talented than the majority, and expected to conform but can't because they're just made different. Probably many adolescents would relate to it, too, because of the way they develop unevenly and often feel out of step with what looks "normal" to them or what they are told they should be. This is true in any culture. An allegory like this is a very good way to bridge the gap between cultures because people can see their own experience in it, and relate to it in their own way.
I gave the story a "good" because as a story , as an idea for a story, it's very good and I hope you go on with it. As a writer and editor, though, I'd just give it an "okay" because it needs a lot of work. But that's not a problem at this point anyway. Are you still writing? The only way to get better at it is to keep doing it! Just get the words down, don't worry about style or correctness or anything like that. The main thing is to get started, get that draft, and then once that's done you can work on the editing and the details. That's how most writers do it. (Professional secret: as an editor, I know that many, if not most, professional writers do NOT produce "polished" drafts without a lot of help!)
That's when it helps to have feedback, like what you did here (asking people for it). Writers groups can be terrifying for us (and from what I've heard, some of them are brutal) but if you can find one with the right attitude, it can be the best thing in the world. I was lucky to find one that's very gentle, tolerant and supportive, and it's been amazing to have that experience. A day with the group totally drains me for days, but it's worth it because they're always supportive and I learn a lot. Or - there are online forums for writers too I guess.
I'm not from India but I lived there for some time when I was young, with my parents (they were academics) - near Bangalore, and then in Delhi - and I've had ties with the country ever since, and I can definitely see how your story is an Indian one. (By the way, I've read a lot of Indian authors and they're some of the finest writers in English.) But I also think people in other cultures, who are marginalized by different aspects of their personalities, could relate to your story as well - Aspies, gays, anyone who is differently talented than the majority, and expected to conform but can't because they're just made different. Probably many adolescents would relate to it, too, because of the way they develop unevenly and often feel out of step with what looks "normal" to them or what they are told they should be. This is true in any culture. An allegory like this is a very good way to bridge the gap between cultures because people can see their own experience in it, and relate to it in their own way.
I gave the story a "good" because as a story , as an idea for a story, it's very good and I hope you go on with it. As a writer and editor, though, I'd just give it an "okay" because it needs a lot of work. But that's not a problem at this point anyway. Are you still writing? The only way to get better at it is to keep doing it! Just get the words down, don't worry about style or correctness or anything like that. The main thing is to get started, get that draft, and then once that's done you can work on the editing and the details. That's how most writers do it. (Professional secret: as an editor, I know that many, if not most, professional writers do NOT produce "polished" drafts without a lot of help!)
That's when it helps to have feedback, like what you did here (asking people for it). Writers groups can be terrifying for us (and from what I've heard, some of them are brutal) but if you can find one with the right attitude, it can be the best thing in the world. I was lucky to find one that's very gentle, tolerant and supportive, and it's been amazing to have that experience. A day with the group totally drains me for days, but it's worth it because they're always supportive and I learn a lot. Or - there are online forums for writers too I guess.
Hi Chrism929, sorry for replying so late, I somehow missed the notification mail.
First of all, really thanks for being so supportive and providing such valuable information. I went through my story after a long time. In spite of the language problems, I couldn't believe I could actually write something so emotionally ripe (though it only seems so to people who have lived in India or Asia). Besides, I'm never focused enough to fit this much material in the right order (I also have mild ADHD). Now it's quite clear to me that I'm not cut out to be a writer, by my standards this is too good!! Bless the moment when I was able to write this. I must have been really intense and focused.
Anyway, the point is I'm not cut out to be a writer, even if I ever write something else (continue the story, or write something new), it would be emotionally very inferior. Yes, I can improve the language, and with your suggestions I can improve much more than just that!! But basically it won't be at all good. Maybe it worked because the concept of a drowning merman was good. Maybe not.
Thanks to all the people who took the time to read it, and to submit their vote
Dhawal
Sabu
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Joined: 19 Feb 2009
Age: 39
Gender: Male
Posts: 51
Location: Lost in the world
18 Jul 2010, 1:04 am
Still waiting for the second half
18 Jul 2010, 1:59 am
Sabu wrote:
Still waiting for the second half
Hehe, refer to the previous post
25 Jan 2012, 10:10 pm
26 Jan 2012, 3:08 am
