group acceptance

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I was basically just kicked out of 2 of my main social groups.

I had been hanging out with one group of people (I had a crush on one of the guys) for over a year and, well, the one guy I like turned me down , so I kind of started to hang out with one of my other friend's group of people more than the 1st group. I was told the other day that because I had been hanging around outside of the 1st group a lot, that was no loner a part of it.

Then, today, one of my friends in the second group pulled me aside and said that she had noticed that I had developed a crush on one of the guys there. She told me that he didn't feel that way about and that I should back off because I was making the guys uncomfortable and that they didn't really want me in the group.

So now I have friends in both groups, but I'm not a part of either group. What should I do?

Oh goodness. The old, "It's them or it's us" routine. :rolleyes: It never ceases to amaze me how people think it's their business whoever else you want to hang out with when you're socializing with them. From what you're saying, these two groups don't like each other and they feel whoever hangs out with the other is a traitor. I think most social, religious, corporate or whatever, do it to a certain degree.......which is why I've found it impossible to belong to any type of group without feeling restrained.

Well, since when does true friendship mean you like whoever your friends approve of and drop whomever they don't? If they're your friends, they'll respect your individuality and understand that your life isn't their's to dictate and who you choose to socialize with has nothing to do with them. And if they don't, then they're just trying to control you. You wouldn't want your parents telling you who to hang out with. Surely you should expect less bossing around from your friends.

It's not so much that as it was the 1st group kicked me out just because I hadn't being hanging out with them at lunch for about a month.

It's funny. We were just talking about that in English class.

I just really have no idea what to do.

I mean, I'm glad they told my friend to tell me that I made them uncomforatable, but at the same time I wonder why they couldn't have told me themselves and wether that would have made me feel any better about it. Is it just that they don't like me, or is it that my social skills just suck that much? Because... I can't really help it when I start crowding people, well, I can... but I don't realize that I'm crowding them until way after they start moving away and looking at me funny.

Help!

Why don't you go between both of them? Like halve your time between them? I used to do that alot because I didn't feel accepted in either of the groups I had friends in, so when one group got to me I'd go and spend time with the other group and just general flow between both of the groups the whole time. No one really minded that sometimes I wasn't there and sometimes I was, my friends in the group just welcomed me and we'd talk a little. Would you be able to do something like that? Because being kicked out of a group because you don't spend time there is a little weird... As long as you keep your relationship going with your mates in both groups then it should be okay. And if you're gonna fall for someone, usually it will be someone you know, which will mean that you interact with them alot... so having a crush on someone in one of the groups would be almost normal wouldn't it?

My friends don't really understand what's going on... like almost everyone has been avoiding me... It makes me sad.