What I know of romance

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As you would imagine, I know little about romance. What I have learned has been wrought from endless trials and massive errors.

(1) When you reach my age, the good ones are all taken. In fact, when you reach my age, the bad ones are all taken.

(2) Being caring, helpful, amusing or kind does not matter. At least, it does not matter as much to women as all the things I lack.

(3) If you find a woman attractive, someone else will. And that someone will invariably be better than you.

(4) If you hold back from approaching women, you are 'distant', if you approach them you are a 'lecher'

(5) Finally, if you don't deal with a woman exactly right, doing exactly the right things at exactly the right times in exactly the right way, you will be crushed and rejected horribly.

I am young and I know alot about romance. I have been in love before and I know what true romance is. I wouldn't share them personal details on here though because it is very intimate.
If anyone wants my advice they can PM me.

1. I couldn't relate, I'm not even 20 yet

2. It is easy to think that it would matter because it is so logically right. The reason people do it though, seems to be that they are compensating for something.

3. This is SOOOOOOO true. I hate having to compete with every other guy for the girl I like because they all have such a seemingly huge advantage. Or several even.....

4. Can't relate, I don't approach women, I just wait for them to approach me tbh

5. All the more disadvantage of the inability to read emotions.

Skip the romance, the romance is for only after they actually take an interest in you.
in the mean while, get them to chase YOU. act like its their loss if they do not take interest.

I think it really is a loss for them. Girls will NEVER find someone like me, cause I am way different from any other guy.

Money makes for a great deoderant, and an insidiously powerful aphrodisiac, as well!

The errors can teach you two things: to expect failure, or that all people are different and that what pleases one will likely offend another.

Don't agree with this statement; found love this year at the age of 32 - it is an arbitrary measure, and while some will use it as an excuse, it is merely a measure and not the whole of a man or woman.

Again, I disagree. Those qualities are among those that my fiance treasures and appreciates. There are many people out there who cannot handle the idea of a less-than-ideal world, and those will always be disappointed... but there are also gems in their midst.

I can believe the first part as having some truth; the latter part I might have once agreed with... but I don't now. We don't decide what makes us attractive, we don't define by what standards another person is better than another. By making the assumption, we tell others to treat us in this manner.

*shakes head* I can understand where this perception comes from... and I don't have an answer, only that letting others define us is a pretty lousy way to feel one's entire life.

Wow... I am sorry that you have been hurt thusly. Something to consider is that there are always consequences of our actions, both good and bad. We leave the house, we run the risk of being hit by a car; stay inside and roll the dice on a house fire. Being alone only guarantees you'll be alone, not that you won't be miserable. Being vulnerable means that you will get hurt, but that you may also experience joy. A healthy relationship acknowledges that there will be struggle, will be pain, will be anger, but also that there will be commitment, there will be love, there will be support and acceptance, there will be boundaries.


M.

Sounds about right, or at least how I feel.

1. Go for a cougar! A nice cougar could totally eat you up (cougar= older, usually divorced woman with a great deal of experience, stereotypically likes to "teach" the innocent)

2.Being careful, helpful, amusing, kind only means that you are a nice person! It is not a declaration of love or even affection (Heck, in todays society, those characteristics more often than not mean that said guy is GAY)... of course a lot of NT girls I know like subtlety but it make no sense to me. I need the words and I need to understand what they mean.

3.A low self esteem isn't sexy. Confidance is good, even if you dont always get what you want. Maybe the girl you originally like still turns you down, but her cute friend finally NOTICES you. You HAVE to have some confidance, other wise you just blend into the wall and the only ones who notice you then are the kinds of people who like to step all over people without the courage to stand up for themselves.

4.You are only a lecher if you're too blunt. Don't get into sex if you just met someone. She does not need to know what your favorite position is or how skilled you are with your tongue. Dont stare at her boobs. Look her in the face if you cant her eyes, a lot of girls feel complemented if you look at their lips (they take it to mean that they have a sexy mouth), just remember to look up, if you cant get to thier eyes, settle for eyebrows, or the spot between thier eyes and pay attention to what they say. Ask them about thier interests, but just in a friendly manner, not like you care too much (the wierd thing about society friends, etc. is that the more obviously you want one the less people want to be yours & the more it seems like you dont care, the more people seem to feel the need to prove themselves WORTHY of you.)

5.The women you've been with must have been terrible b*****s. Look for girls who are less high maintenance.

Mate your listing your problems but not the cause.

put a picture up of yourself and i think we can all be very honest with you about how we are gonna fix ya.


Anyway - something i learned the hardway after year and year and year of rejection was that chicks like a guy who is a bit rough, a bit tough but is kinda and CAN protect them. Someone that isn't focused on themselves AKA (I've got all these problem) // Be the Alfa male mate.

<romance>


</romance>


...yup...that's about it...

Don't ever try to rationalize it. My best friend always said ''f*****g and the actions leading to it and from it are never rational.''

1. I disagree. All the good ones may be taken, but luckily, men can do something women can't normally do (same as writing words in the snow): lower their standards. Women wants men who fit their ideal expectations. Men, on the other hand, have the ability to date a woman who they don't find attractive. Use that to your advantage. If a plain-looking woman shows interest, go for it; you don't know when you'll have another chance at relationship.

2. Very true. On an evolutionary level, women want powerful, dominant alphamales. And most alpha males (a.k.a. jerks) are anything but caring, helpful, and amusing. Non-alpha males typically get left out in the cold, unless they can work around it. Since alpha males can pick and choose women as they please, they'll choose the best-looking ones. That leaves non-model looking women. They'll be genuinely willing to date a caring, helpful, amusing man.

3. Very true. This is the reverse of #2. Good-looking women have a huge selection of men to pick and choose from. And they will always always always pick the hot alpha male over a caring, helpful, amusing man. So if you're going for a hot girl, you're going to have a lot of competition. If you genuinely think you can "win", go ahead and try it. But being smart, your best bet is to go for women with whom your odds of being chosen are higher.

4. Only partially true. If you don't approach women at all, many people would say you're "shy" rather than "distant". Some of the more sinister individuals would also say you're "gay" if you don't approach women. Now, if you approach them, you're only a lecher if they don't find your approach welcome. Now, which women would be more welcoming of your approach? See #2 and #3. If you know who to approach, you won't be labeled a lecher.

5. True, with variations. Most women have standards of what constitutes "exactly right", "right things", "right time", and "right way". But the strictness of standard varies. Very good-looking women have such strict standards, that only 0.05% of men can meet them. (This is a statistic from a newspaper article.) But average women have liberal standards that you can meet with a reasonable amount of effort. Go for them, and leave the models for the alpha males.