Driving

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I was nearly in a car crash. A car pulled out in front of me and I had to slam on the brakes and only just missed hitting the other car. But it didn't scare me at all. I think I should have had a reaction, but I didn't feel anything.

So why do I suffer from anxiety at busy roundabouts, but not from nearly crashing into someone? I think it should be the other way around.

And is there a way to manage anxiety while I'm driving? I'm getting better with practice (been driving on my own for 6 months now) but I still get a bit overwhelmed when there are too many other cars on the road. I just can't make decisions fast enough.

it might be to do with the fact that us aspies tend to look at the small details and not the big picture. Also perhaps as it wasnt your fault you werent upset. For me I have been driving on my own four months tomorrow when someone honks their horn at me or not it scares me but i try not to let it get to me.

I suppose it could be because this wasn't my fault.

Other times when I've done something that could have caused an accident (but never got this close to actually doing it) I've had to pull over and get my emotions under control before I can drive again. That's why it surprised me. I'm so emotional, but not this time.

I don't like cars honking either. Makes me feel like I'm doing the wrong thing, no matter what I'm doing, and I get flustered.

Sirens scare me too.

My mom (who has some AS traits herself) used to tell me that there were a lot of "almost" accidents while driving but actually getting into one was very unlikely because at least one of the drivers is going to be able to do something to prevent it. I don't know if this is true, or if she just freaked out a lot. Or if she was a bad driver. But it helped me keep from stressing out over those near misses that can happen.

I find that when I drive every day, and get used to my routes, my anxiety decreases, but if I don't drive for a while, or drive in a particular area, it can come back. So my best advice is to keep at it regularly and don't let it get the best of you on a certain day.

I'm pretty good with everyday driving. I know which ways to get to work and back so I don't have to go on roundabouts or do too many lane-changes. That sort of thing stresses me out. I'm just no good at judging what gaps I can fit into, so I wait for huge gaps and people behind me get impatient.

I really don't like having to make split-second decisions. Like on roundabouts - by the time I've thought about whether a gap is big enough, it's gone.

If I'm getting a bit worked up, really concentrating on doing little repetitive things like scanning the road, checking mirrors and checking speed seem to calm me down. It worked well enough to get me through my driving test and most little things.

Interesting responses to this topic.

I actually feel as though the traits of AS that I demonstrate help me in my driving.
One-sided attention to detail. Over years of driving around the region where I live, I have memorized roads, traffic signals, patterns, etc etc etc etc. I never get lost. I can predict difficult situations. I have learned to notice everything that happens on the roads. I know what is around virtually every corner, and I have already compensated for it. All of this is, of course, to the exclusion of other things. Like try and have a conversation with me while I am driving. It ain't happening. I am far too gone in my singularly-focused universe.

And so, in 11 years of driving, I've been in 2 accidents. And both of those happened in my first year of driving.

Everyone expresses Asperger's differently, and I can imagine how driving could paralyze other people. I feel very fortunate that my brain seemed to have approached this situation as just another system to analyze and solve. Sometimes that gets me into trouble.... like the way that I think I know where every police speed trap is, which means that I generally drive much too fast. I value my perceptive abilities in this unique context.

It would really depend on many factors--- such as how bad the accident, or if the near-miss would have resulted in a serious crash had it actually occurred. Or whose fault it was. Or even my state of mind before the incident happened ( was it a leisurely drive or a commute to work?).
I love to drive. I'm alone in my car usually, and I can think how I want to and go to many places. I feel comfortable in my car and everyone else is in their own cars. I'm rather good at it, I think. Sometimes, other drivers make me nervous--- they can drive badly and cause accidents... but I could get injured in my own home or at the store, too. So I'll take my chances in the car.
Most accidents are really just "fender benders", too. Out of 100 accidents, probably only 5-10 will involve any serious injury or death. Even then, you might only get whiplash or bruises or maybe a broken arm.

Really, driving or riding in an automobile is one of the most dangerous things most of us do in our day-to-day life, but since most of us have been in cars since we were little kids, we are desensitized to the risk. When you drive, especially in congested urban and suburban areas, and especially at high-traffic times of the day, you're more likely to see or come into unfortunate contact with people who are careless, foolish, or just making an honest mistake. For example, on the highway, you may not see a car in your blind spot when you try to change lanes (yes, you're supposed to crane your neck back briefly to watch for that stuff and not just check the rear-view and side-view mirrors); in software engineering, we call such a mishap a concurrent access violation, but in driving it's called a potentially fatal accident.

I've gotten on the highway before when a tractor trailer was getting into the lane to exit exit the highway, and I was somewhere in the middle of its length. It was just moving over, so I had to slam on the gas and accelerate to an opening in the lane it was presently in ahead. One time some old lady started backing her car up at a red light; luckily there was no one behind me, so when I noticed she wasn't planning to stop any time soon, I just backed up a little.

Quick reactions help, but you can't do much about the people who aren't paying attention or are paying attention to, say, the kids in the backseat rear-end your car. No fun.

I once ran over a 3 yold girl while snowboarding. She was on an intermediate hill, and cut in front of me before I had time to react. That ended my day at the hill, and I couldn't forgive myself for it for a long time.

statistically speaking, roundabouts have a much less likelyhood of fatal collisions than intersections with lights so your fears should be reversed.

The same thing nearly happened to me shortly after I got my liscense last August. There was an insane amount of construction on Washington St. and Post Rd. over the last year (they just finished a month ago), so a lot of people were confused as what to do. Anyway, I was the first one sitting at a red light at the Washington and Post intersection, and once it turned green, me and everyone else continued going down post on our side, while everyone on the other side of the road went the other way, as they should. Well, anyway, there's some stores on my side of the road, but since there was construction, there were traffic cones and and stuff all over. Some idiot decided to pull right into the oncoming traffic (me and the people following) to get to Church's Chicken. I had to slam on my breaks and pray no one else going to hit me, too. The idiot noticed what they were doing wrong, so they stupidly slammed on their breaks, too, and sat there like the idiot he was. He eventually got back into his lane and we all continued on our way. I should've honked at the guy, but I was too busy listening to a good song on the radio when all this was happening.

One thing I've learned about Indiana drivers is that they'll pull right out in front of you without even thinking. The Illinois drivers are speed demons and the Ohio drivers are just always in a rush. But the Indiana ones are the ones looking for trouble. LOL

WHen I was 16 and newly licensed, I was driving to school one rainy morning along a well-travelled surface road, frequented by industrial delivery trucks. At this particular moment, the road was clear, so I started, for the fun of it, steering the car violently across two lanes of traffic, back and forth. It was actually quite fun, but I unfortunately lost control of the car and started spinning and gradually sliding towards the curb. I was able to control it somewhat by intentionally over correcting my steering maneuvers. The car would jump right, and I would time a violent left turn just as the car was finished with it's right turn, so the tires would gain traction again in the position I wanted at the time I wanted. It all had the net effect of making the car seem to "jump" from one lane to the next and back again, there was no steering control during the slides, only at the edges. Eventually, I totally lost control and the car jumped the curb, landeding in the ditch facing the other direction. The strange thing is, I never panicked nor felt any sort of anxiety the whole time. You'd figure travelling in an uncontrollable spin the wrong way down a major road at 50 miles an hour in the wrong direction (at times the car was pointed backwards, we could even see the looks on the driver's face behind us) would make one anxious, or nervous, or whatever. But no. Instead I was picturing in my head exactly what the tires were doing, how far they skidded after regaining traction, thier position relative to the car once I had turned them, and how far bent they were likely to be under such force, and how much more likely the car would be to tip because of that.

While the acar went careening off the side of the road, I was able to reassure my two screaming passengers "Don't worry guys, I got this...". I didn't, but I needed them to shut the hell up so I could concentrate on the car instead of them. I do still find it strange that I never once felt afraid or nervous or anxious in such a high-stress and potentially fatal situation.

Something similar happened maybe a year ago. I was travelling south on a relatively empty road, at maybe 110 km/h, and about to cross an east-west road on a green light. Picture this. There were two cars waiting at the red light on the west side, ahead on my right. One wanted to continue east, and the other was about to make a right turn and travel south on the road I was already on. But the car wishing to go straight through the intersection and travel east blocked the northern view of the car waiting to turn right and proceed south, so that driver couldn't see me. He started his right turn at such a point that even a total wheel lock would not have stopped the car in time to avoid hitting something. I would have considered ditching the car, but at that speed I wouldn't have survived. What I could tell from what I saw in front of me was that I could needle my way through the car turning right and the car across the intersection, wishing to turn left and travel west. Between This car wanting to turn left across the intersection, and the car already turning right directly in front of me I could see enough of a gap to fit through, and so long as I did not use the brakes, at my rate of speed, that gap would still be big enough when I got there. It seemed like my best option, so I laid down the horn hoping the driver turning right would hear it and give me a little extra room, swerved right to avoid him, and a plit second later had to swerve left to avoid the car want to make a left turn and travel west. All with perhaps six inches of room on either side of my car.

In that situation too, it just never struck me to be afraid. Realistically, an accident at that speed would likely have killed both me and whomever I hit. But I got so lost in calculating exactly how to avoid it that it never sunk in. I think many people, faced with situations like that, would just "not have time" to get anxious or afraid.

As for the nervousness and anxiety, I have found something that works for me in traffic. I can't stand heavy traffic. As long as it's moving around the speed limit, I'm just peachy with it. When it gets to the point where it slows people down, I cant stand it. It's like my blood is boiling. I feel like screaming. I guess the only physical thing I do when I get into that situation is to consciously control my breathing, so it stays regular and I slow it down a little bit. I also force myself into a relaxed sitting position and lighten my grip on the steering wheel. Beyond that, it's much more of a psychological thing. It's sort of like I tell myself "Ken, you are a grown man. You can handle this. Your anxiety is irrational. You can defeat it. Your logic and reasoning powers are stronger than your irrational anxiety." or something like that. I keep telling myself something to that effect while controlling my rate of breathing. It seems to work well for me. Not "mind over matter", rather "mind over mind". But we don't have roundabouts where I live, so I can't relate to that specifically. We just get clogged roads every rush hour.