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Agon
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29 Dec 2008, 11:44 pm

Well, the title got your attention. Don't look at me, you're the sick fµck if you even had the courage to enter this inferno. Got your attention, didn't it? Its job is done, then.


I shall begin. I am a very strange boy, in many ways, to say the least. I've no intention whatsoever of writing an autobiography here, to your great pleasure, I will however give a good read.

Often do you see a thread, the begetter of which is an emo (for a lack of a better word) boy, whining about his miserable life - for little do you know, he is loved by no one, he is a good for nothing NEET, probably a hikikomori as well for all you might know (sarcasm). Ah, the poor child (sarcasm).
Alas, 'tis not what the purpose of this thread is for. I'd like to bestow upon ye, the readers of this suicide manual (metaphor), to get the feel of what it's like to be me, Agon. Enjoy, see what it's like and perhaps you'll have a share of thoughts.
Also, my monologues tend to be rather long, so make a cup o' tea, sit comfortably, make sure you're not tight on time, because it is advised that you read this knowing that nothing's pressuring you. And so, begin, I shall.

What I'd like to tell you is how I view life. I will tell a story (My story - really only part of it, you're not allowed to know too much). So that you may give your opinions.

The name's Agon. I...am not sure where to begin. I'm a self-proclaimed transhuman of the physical age of 18 (to my disappointment).
I am an elitist, I view the value of human life as worthless unless proven otherwise.
In spite of my rather high and mighty view on life I am actually an altruist. This has proven to affect me negatively. I am too kind for my own damn good. Furthermore, I actually support the idea of utopia, where people do not treat each other like garbage, whereas people are not blinded by the seven sins...

I would make this topic as long as I possibly could, but I'm running short of will to continue writing this crap.

Anyway, I am the kind of a person who wants good things for good people and bad things for bad people.
I often find myself thinking that if I had the ability I'd do just that. Help those who deserve to be helped, and harm those who deserve to be harmed. And it depends on what kind of a person the person is the things I will do to him.
Like, a person who murdered someone (to which proof will be available) will be first tortured for a while and then get the death penalty. I fancy the idea of using the guillotine.
And for instance, a person who risked his life and ran into a house that was on fire and ended up saving like 2 infants would receive a handsome reward like... Money? Scholarship (if he were to be a student) and needed one, uh, i dunno. Something good. Though it doesn't necessarily have to be materialistic, I guess.


Next, on the subject of drugs. Wtf? I've been consuming alcoholic beverages ever since I was a wee turd (10). I've smoked in the 2nd and 3rd grade. Quit, didn't appeal to me. Started again in the 5th grade. I quit after a few months. Started again in the 7th grade. Quit after a few weeks. Haven't smoked cigarettes ever since. Anyway, I learned on my own that I dislike cigarettes, I smoked them due to peer pressure and curiosity.

Currently only thing I smoke on a regular basis is the hookah. And occasionally marijuana and hash. It's nice, you know? Brings pleasure, I enjoy it. Why would the government forbid me to smoke something that I personally enjoy? For the most part it's simple. You'll become a menace to society. You'll get diseases, you'll want more and more and more and more. Another NEET. Society doesn't need people like that.

Back when I was 14 I thought to myself, why isn't there an organization that could allow me, one of the age of 14, to have the same rights as someone of the age of 18? The organization would test every single person if he should receive certain privileges. And it would test everyone! Because as surprising as it may be, the vast majority of people (regardless of age) are no better than an infant. It was a pain for me to use wit to get alcohol when I should be allowed to consume it without their interference. Bloody government and their evil ways.

I am a haughty person, by the way. A narcissist, I am. Take note of that. Because I'll occasionally be complementing myself and awing at my magnificence. So you'll will likely get irritated by this.

Anyway, next point. Age of consent. I find it odd that in the US, for instance, the age of consent is 18 in most states, 16 in some. WTF? This is redundant in every way you look at it. Something should be done about that. Here, where I reside, it's 14. A bit more reasonable, but still somehow not satisfying. I'd go further into detail but really tired and can't think clearly (6:30 AM at this point. Haven't slept all night). So I'll go deeper into this some other time.


Next would be... Umm... Let's see... Ah! Yes, sense of humor. I am constantly baffled by the lack of sense of humor in a great many people. But first take a look at Krem's Theory and Krem and Agon's Conversation.
Basically you can also discuss this s**t there.

Next. Love. Highly overrated. A lapse of judgment, is what I think. I had the unfortunate luck to fall in love recently. My affection is not returned.
'T is sad, for the girl is as beautiful* as a goddess. Her voice is as beautiful as an angel's. She smells like the best flower in existence. And the feel of her is like nothing I've ever experienced before.
Yet, I am unable to embrace her. I'd like to blame myself for this, but I am unable to do so. I feel miserable because I now cannot sleep at all unless my body breaks down.
It's a one way ticket. I've used the ticket. But...

Ah. To heck with this. So far I believe what I written will suffice.

*This word is highly underestimated in today's society. Personally, if I use it, it's gotta be something truly worthy of bearing this word.

I am reminded of the song We Were Lovers. Beautiful song... "Harsh words were said, and lies were told instead. I did n~ever mean to make you cry, but love can make us weak and make us strong and before too very long, I was totally in love with you, I bathed in you, lost in you, captivated by you, amazed by you, dazed by you. Nothing can go wrong. Nothing can go wrong."


Oh, and I don't want any advices, keep them to yourselves, grasshoppers. (Unless you truly believe that it will not be a waste of my time to read.)


_________________
It appears that I was banned. And it also appears that I have a new private message, but I can't view it - because I was banned... Anyway, contact me by email: [email protected] or [email protected] (my MSN as well).


Last edited by Agon on 31 Dec 2008, 8:39 am, edited 3 times in total.

Krem
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29 Dec 2008, 11:52 pm

Quote:
Anyway, I am the kind of a person who wants good things for good people and bad things for bad people.
I often find myself thinking that if I had the ability I'd do just that. Help those who deserve to be helped, and harm those who deserve to be harmed. And it depends on what kind of a person the person is the things I will do to him.
Like, a person who murdered someone (to which proof will be available) will be first tortured for a while and then get the death penalty. I fancy the idea of using the guillotine.
And for instance, a person who risked his life and ran into a house that was on fire and ended up saving like 2 infants would receive a handsome reward like... Money? Scholarship (if he were to be a student) and needed one, uh, i dunno. Something good. Though it doesn't necessarily have to be materialistic, I guess.


Poor Agon. Personally, if I had the power, I'd just have my way with the world, and then laugh at it while it licks it's wounds. And, perhaps, at some points, make some 'rights'. By rights, I mean more kittens, less weather-changes, less spiders, less humans, more freedom etc.

And, s**t, the time it took you to think of all this shite, I expected more.

It's late, I don't have self-control over posting useless rubbish.



Sand
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30 Dec 2008, 12:45 am

When I was 18 I had a lot to learn. It is some time since then and I have learned a few things. Keep at it. Life produces unexpected joys and miseries.



lucy777
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31 Dec 2008, 7:52 am

You arent starnge(at least for me)-I think that you are very interesting human.
Your kind of autobiography is fascinating!
I love your sense of humor-you have sarcastic view of life and its realy rare.
I hope you will be happier soon!



Agon
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31 Dec 2008, 8:30 am

So my topic isn't being popular. What a surprise...

Anyway, I have a few other topics I am in the mood to discuss. Though not in the condition; it's 15:00 and I haven't slept all night. At all.


Money. Money is a fµcked up thing as a whole. What baffles me about this is that it is being used inappropriately. You've got athletes who're getting payed millions, fµcking millions to run around. How useful.
On the other hand, people who actually contribute to society; composer, teachers, painters, scientists, engineers, etc, get fµcking pennies. Pennies! PENNIES! WTF?
How useful it is to watch someone run around. Because you know, it cures cancer. Watching a work of art made by an artist, or checking up on the progress of scientists' attempt to find a cure for cancer, however, gives you cancer. Fµck.


Next. Holidays. Particularly birthdays.

Mom: "Congratulations, Timmy! You're one step closer to death now!"
Timmy: "Image"

I wish I could remain in the body of an eleven year old. For many reasons. Mostly because you can get away with anything. Specifically rape. ...and even more specifically, statutory rape.
Anyway. I fµcking hate growing old. Soon enough I'll have white hair and I'll start thinking of suicide. Suicide!
Being young is best. You don't have to work, because your parents bring you home the income. Which is always nice. Did I mention that you can get away with anything? And your body is at its best physical performance. And all the other good merits.

Anyway. Next. No, not next. Still haven't said anything about the other holidays.
Traditions, generally. New year, yay. Another step closer to death. Basically, all that was said in the previous paragraph applies to this place point as well.
Valentine's Day. Whoopty doo... How freaking wonderful. And no, it's not because of my lack of a partner.
Christmas. The very fact that the hidden word 'christ' is there already makes me want to grab a nearby pointy object and poke an infant...repeatedly.
Anyway. Generally, holidays make me sick. What is there to celebrate when so much evil is abound?
I'd understand if you've suddenly turned into a millionaire the next day. Then yes, you'd, personally, have a reason to celebrate. You'll no longer be a peon of society, you can have slaves work for you. Happy bastard. Other than that I see no good reason to celebrate.

Celebration to me means getting high. Period.

And the whole holding the glass up thing, and using it to do the whole 'toast' thing. It just irritates me. Too tired to figure out why.


Um, I think that's it for now. I think I'll hang for a wee bit more and then hit the sack.



Krem
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31 Dec 2008, 8:36 am

Why give artists money? Sure, it's good art etc. but they're not contributing anything. Same as entertainers. Give their billions to, say, new learning-books for the children. ( Learning languages with 50 year old books is funny. )



lucy777
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31 Dec 2008, 9:02 am

You are wrong in 1 subject.it isnt nice to be young.no one take you seriously and everyone act like you are an innocent infant.
I wish I was older...talk about important subjects without any people that staring at me-that will be wonderful.
but all the other things you said are right.(sorry if I had bad grammar)



Krem
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31 Dec 2008, 9:08 am

But what if he wants to be innocent? What if he does not care if people do not take him seriously? The benefits outweigh the troubles.



lucy777
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31 Dec 2008, 9:50 am

Maybe you right but its frustrating to know that no matter what you going to say no one will listen carefuly.



Agon
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31 Dec 2008, 10:31 am

If those who are physically mature neglect those who are not, it merely implies that they are ignorant, foolish people. I tend to ignore people like that. So for me this would not have been an issue.



lucy777
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31 Dec 2008, 10:42 am

well-so you are in good condition :)