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techstepgenr8tion
SomeRandomGuy
SomeRandomGuy

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03 Jan 2009, 7:47 pm

Yeah, the hardest part about giving advice in this situation is; from the way it sounds, there's a lot of crucial information we don't have which is either a bit personal or with your group of friends likely things that you aren't able to see from your standpoint easily. Taking you at your word though if your friends are acting like this either she has them under her thumb, in which case I kinda think their cowards - you don't need friends like that, otherwise there's a myriad of different reasons why they may not care who's right or who's wrong but just want to stay out of it regardless - in any case they're more out for themselves (or watching their own backs) than for seeing this resolved. I can say for my own circle of guy friends, if they saw this kind of thing they wouldn't stand for it; just like I'd play my part and show that its their sentiments, that they don't need to stick up for me but I can't stop them from calling like it is either.

Hanging out in groups like your dealing with I think tends to weaken your ability to meet quality friends just because you end up in all the wrong places at the wrong times or they end up grossing out other groups who prize integrity a lot more - groups you'd rather be in. To me it sounds like your moving out of state in 7 months is actually a golden opportunity not to make the same mistake twice.



Space
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03 Jan 2009, 7:58 pm

techstepgenr8tion wrote:
Yeah, the hardest part about giving advice in this situation is; from the way it sounds, there's a lot of crucial information we don't have which is either a bit personal or with your group of friends likely things that you aren't able to see from your standpoint easily. Taking you at your word though if your friends are acting like this either she has them under her thumb, in which case I kinda think their cowards - you don't need friends like that, otherwise there's a myriad of different reasons why they may not care who's right or who's wrong but just want to stay out of it regardless - in any case they're more out for themselves (or watching their own backs) than for seeing this resolved. I can say for my own circle of guy friends, if they saw this kind of thing they wouldn't stand for it; just like I'd play my part and show that its their sentiments, that they don't need to stick up for me but I can't stop them from calling like it is either.

Hanging out in groups like your dealing with I think tends to weaken your ability to meet quality friends just because you end up in all the wrong places at the wrong times or they end up grossing out other groups who prize integrity a lot more - groups you'd rather be in. To me it sounds like your moving out of state in 7 months is actually a golden opportunity not to make the same mistake twice.

I think so. I also think a lot of people put up with her garbage because she is attractive, and say they are friends with her too and think that I am the one with the issues. I hate these people... one guy I thought was my best friend, but he ignores my phone calls 90% of the time and won't phone me back, and when he phones me to hang out it turns out he wants me to help him renovate a house or shovel dirt and garbage from his worksite. What a prick. When I bring up my problems and concerns with them, they just laugh and smile and say that what I'm saying is not true and that basically I am the problem.



techstepgenr8tion
SomeRandomGuy
SomeRandomGuy

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Joined: 6 Feb 2005
Age: 40
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Posts: 21,215
Location: The 27th Path of Peh.

03 Jan 2009, 8:07 pm

Space wrote:
I think so. I also think a lot of people put up with her garbage because she is attractive, and say they are friends with her too and think that I am the one with the issues.


Yeah, either that or they're leaching off of her for a big house to party at, for some kind of hookups she might have downtown; unlikely they really give a flying f about her either beyond that.