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04 Jan 2009, 3:38 pm

I remember going to church and I'd be bored just by hearing the priest talk. I remember hearing little kids running around and making noise. My church handed out these clipboards with crayons and a coloring page attached to it to keep the young ones busy. It made it convenient for everyone because it kept them settled so everyone was able to enjoy their time and not listen to little kids make noise and run around.

I can remember acting goody a few times when I was seven because I was bored so I would be teasing my mother. One time I placed a bible on her chair while she was standing and I laughed when she sat on it.



Kilroy
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04 Jan 2009, 3:45 pm

I loathed going to church and often weaseled out of it by getting my friends to organize things on sunday so I wouldn't have to go.
we didn't keep going after I was 9, when I was 15 I became a pagan so now I absolutely refuse



DW_a_mom
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04 Jan 2009, 6:03 pm

I think some of the above posts make a good point, in that if what you are trying to do is to help a child grow faith, you are probably better off skipping church with the child than allowing him to have a negative experience. It's something a parent should consider. As I was reading those posts, I was trying to decide how our "requiring" the kids to go at this point may be playing out in their minds, and I think it's OK - positive to neutral, fortunately not hateful.

There is another consideration, and that is for the parents to be able to attend. I enjoy going as a family. I want to go, and I want my children to share it with me. When we couldn't bring them to church, we simply never went. That was negative for my husband and me, so we investigated and found a situation that would work better.

In a family, you are always looking at the needs of ALL members, and that does include mom and dad.


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04 Jan 2009, 6:23 pm

ster wrote:
i tried to bring son to church, but he was too antsy.....hubby, who also has AS, was brought up in a devout Catholic family. He remembers years of what he calls "torture". To this day, I cannot get him to go to church.


If your hubby considers a Catholic Mass to be torture, he should read up on the Spanish Inquisition. Now that was torture.













(Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition! :twisted: )



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04 Jan 2009, 6:30 pm

DW_a_mom wrote:
I think some of the above posts make a good point, in that if what you are trying to do is to help a child grow faith, you are probably better off skipping church with the child than allowing him to have a negative experience. It's something a parent should consider. As I was reading those posts, I was trying to decide how our "requiring" the kids to go at this point may be playing out in their minds, and I think it's OK - positive to neutral, fortunately not hateful.

There is another consideration, and that is for the parents to be able to attend. I enjoy going as a family. I want to go, and I want my children to share it with me. When we couldn't bring them to church, we simply never went. That was negative for my husband and me, so we investigated and found a situation that would work better.

In a family, you are always looking at the needs of ALL members, and that does include mom and dad.


But if Mom & Dad are regular churchgoers, what else can they do with the kids on Sunday mornings but drag them along?



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04 Jan 2009, 6:53 pm

slowmutant wrote:

But if Mom & Dad are regular churchgoers, what else can they do with the kids on Sunday mornings but drag them along?


You have to attend a church that offers a good selection of services and attend in shifts. We did that for a while, but we found it deflating to us as parts of a couple, and so we basically stopped going for a while, until we found the children's liturgy program my son really enjoyed.


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04 Jan 2009, 8:56 pm

slowmutant wrote:
DW_a_mom wrote:
I think some of the above posts make a good point, in that if what you are trying to do is to help a child grow faith, you are probably better off skipping church with the child than allowing him to have a negative experience. It's something a parent should consider. As I was reading those posts, I was trying to decide how our "requiring" the kids to go at this point may be playing out in their minds, and I think it's OK - positive to neutral, fortunately not hateful.

There is another consideration, and that is for the parents to be able to attend. I enjoy going as a family. I want to go, and I want my children to share it with me. When we couldn't bring them to church, we simply never went. That was negative for my husband and me, so we investigated and found a situation that would work better.

In a family, you are always looking at the needs of ALL members, and that does include mom and dad.


But if Mom & Dad are regular churchgoers, what else can they do with the kids on Sunday mornings but drag them along?


Same as if you were going out to a movie and dinner - get a babysitter?



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04 Jan 2009, 9:11 pm

Nan wrote:

Same as if you were going out to a movie and dinner - get a babysitter?


In the years my AS son couldn't do church, he also couldn't accept babysitters. By the time he was old enough to accept babysitters, he was able to start a measured transition into attending church. That may be different for other kids, though.


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05 Jan 2009, 12:25 am

BellaDonna wrote:
My daughter has AS and she can't handle going into a church because she has auditory sensitivites she will put her hands over her ears and run out. When she is in there I can't make her sit still she will be pacing and running around every where.


My child can't stand the music part and has plugs his ears. One of us usually stays outside during the music part. He tells me that sunday school is boring. He is five



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05 Jan 2009, 2:27 am

I am taking my AS son to church for the simple fact that they have pre-kindergarten sunday school which I hope will encourage him to interact with his 'peers'. As his new autistic school only has 2-3 children in his class. But already he is having trouble 'following' his peers, and goes on his eye stimming runs during class.



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06 Jan 2009, 11:15 am

I stopped taking my son to church while he was still in the nursery room. He had behavior problems even in there.

However, he's 10 now and he loves the Bible so much. He wants to read it everyday and he wants other people to go to church. He knows he would have trouble sitting through it himself, but I told him we will try it again. We'll sit in the back row and leave if he has any problems. I don't care what people think if we have to walk out during the sermon.

I won't put him in Sunday school though. He has too many problems with NT kids and I know it wouldn't work out at all. If there was an autism/aspie sunday school, that would be perfect for him because he hasn't had any problems with likeminded children.



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15 Jan 2009, 10:11 am

slowmutant wrote:
IF WrongPlanet is any indication, most Aspies are not the churchgoing type. But who knows, Billy may have a spiritual awakening one day. When I was a kid, I used to bring a toy with me into church in order to keep occupied.


An NAS writer discussed this at http://www.england.autism.org.uk/nas/js ... 64&a=13783 . She suggested that autistic children are less pliable when it comes to performing acts of piety for the sake of keeping up appearances. I pointed out to her that as Jesus said in Matthew 6 that we shouldn't be like the hypocrites, who perform acts of piety to be seen by others to be doing so, maybe in this case, being on the autistic spectrum is a good thing.

I was personally only willing to go into church regularly when I did accept Jesus Christ as my Lord and Saviour. I wasn't willing to go in during the days when I was an atheist.



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15 Jan 2009, 2:10 pm

That was a good article. Thanks for posting it.

We're going to try church on Sunday. I'm keeping him with me and not letting him go into the children's church. We're sitting in the back row and leaving if he can't stand it. I think he might enjoy the music portion of the service...but, I hope it's not too loud.



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16 Jan 2009, 7:55 pm

slowmutant wrote:
ster wrote:
i tried to bring son to church, but he was too antsy.....hubby, who also has AS, was brought up in a devout Catholic family. He remembers years of what he calls "torture". To this day, I cannot get him to go to church.


If your hubby considers a Catholic Mass to be torture, he should read up on the Spanish Inquisition. Now that was torture.













(Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition! :twisted: )



It wasn't just the masses it was the CCD, nasty two faced mean spirited priest and nuns who did any to crush individualism and force conformity, the ridiculous rules and rituals and much much more


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17 Jan 2009, 2:47 am

parts wrote:
slowmutant wrote:
ster wrote:
i tried to bring son to church, but he was too antsy.....hubby, who also has AS, was brought up in a devout Catholic family. He remembers years of what he calls "torture". To this day, I cannot get him to go to church.


If your hubby considers a Catholic Mass to be torture, he should read up on the Spanish Inquisition. Now that was torture.













(Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition! :twisted: )



It wasn't just the masses it was the CCD, nasty two faced mean spirited priest and nuns who did any to crush individualism and force conformity, the ridiculous rules and rituals and much much more


Sounds all too common. This backs up my general dislike of the Roman Catholic church because of how they are quite willing to forsake what the scriptures say for their own traditions and then pass their traditions off as being a religious obligation.



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17 Jan 2009, 8:44 am

I have seen in the paper that some churches in my area have special services for families with special needs children.

Maybe there's one in your area, or perhaps suggesting that sometimes the service in your church be more wiggly, squirmy, squeeky child friendly? If there's more than one service on Sunday, maybe one could be the "more tolerant of the not yet socially organized?" That sounds bad, but I hope you know what I mean.

Doesn't hurt to keep talking with people about it. Maybe others are thinking the same thing.

Metta.