Autistic Spectrum People and Being Touched

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This is just something I have been thinking about. I notice a lot of autistic spectrum people don't like to be touched (me included), but many say they cannot stand light touch. I have AS, but I prefer light touch to firm touch. I am just wondering how it is for the rest of you on the spectrum.

As a baby I used to cry when being held. I don't have a lot of details on that though.

I've never liked hugs. I've learned to just accept it and do it, but sometimes I can still be quite stubborn on it.

I have some very sensitive areas that are very touch aversive. They freak out involuntarily when touched by other people than myself. The back of my neck is a good example, and getting my hair cut with an electric razor. At one small point it is unbearable just about to feel it go over, and I have to resist my leg twitching. That isn't the worst area though. My stomach and other people just poking at it will send it into an involuntary reflex. No problems if I poke myself though!

Overall, when being touched, it is uncomfortable. I can feel the after affects of the touch on my skin for several seconds, and I feel like I just have to rub it or shake it out to get rid of the feeling.

very very nice soft tickling is very ok. firm pressure is fantastic .squeezing is great.and anything in between is repulsive.
also, the thing about touch for me is it cannot be spontaneous. i need to prepare for it. so, i like to control the situation in this respect. the one exemption from this is physical contact with my son. i have conversed on Wp about this with other As mothers and they report something similar - as if the maternal instinct overrides sensory issues.


i can hug people but i hate it. an i hate the germs etc.

i alos hate people coming too close into my space - so on a ferry or train if someone sits next to me or in the seat in front i get this overriding compulsion to deck them. (fortnately i have learned some behaviour modifications over the years, so i don't act upon the impulse.)

Anyone standing near me, sitting near me, touching me, brushing against me, etc. is not tolerated at all. Soft or firm touch, is a no.

But I do remember when I was a little kid I would always hug too hard, etc.

I don't mind it when people touch me. I hate touching certain materials though.

I think it might be a matter of definition...


I can't stand a fingertip being run up my arm for instance (light touch).

but I'm happy to be squeeze-hugged (heavy touch).

I don't like it much. As a kid, I kind of froze up when anybody hugged me or kissed my cheek. I think I felt strange, but I related it to be a boy, and hugging was a girl thing to me.
Later in life, when making out with girls, it felt strange and not natural to be so close to anyone, but I guess the exitement override the aversion of being close, so I managed in a way.

I don't like being hugged by people I don't know so well. I don't even like being hugged by my parents.

I can be a pretty tactile person if I am really close to someone...but hugs or casual touching from people who I am not really close to will always raise my hackles for some reason.

I tend to feel that people who grab me without consent are trying to make me do things they want, rather than what I want.

I dislike touch unless it comes from my immediate family or two others who I am friends with. Everyone else, it either feels awkward or uncomfortable or irritating or nerve-jarring.

I don't like being touched at all by anyone who I don't like and trust.

I hate being touched lightly: at best, it makes my skin crawl, and at worst, it burns.

When I'm being touched I usually don't mind it at all but when I am in a mood where I want my own space then I get very annoyed if I get even lightly touched.

It's a complicated one for me. I'm married and have three kids, and sometimes I just want to hold or be held, but yes, at those times, I prefer firm touch. Not painful, of course, as I have realized hugs can be. My oldest daughter used to barge up and jump at me. She was built like a human ostrich, long and ungainly, and had no self-control as far as other people were concerned.

I also have been known to freak out if I'm grabbed too hard by someone who won't let go. This gets awkward with the children, who do a lot of that sort of thing. Sometimes my older kids have grabbed me by my fingers and won't let go and I get a little burst of panic as I yank my hand loose. And I can't stand being kissed on the arm, but my 7-year-old seems to feel it necessary to do so. Of course, if I'm tense I don't care for touch, though a firm hug from my husband is okay, even soothing. And my toddler, not much more than a walking soft baby, has extra privileges because there's something about the touch of a total innocent... it doesn't carry the same burden as with older people. Oddly enough, I was able to breastfeed my kids, which I wasn't at first sure that I could. Turns out I had some wrong ideas about it. That's a bit of a victory with me. I don't think it's as vital to a baby's health as some would suggest, but it pretty danged good for them.

The thing which seems to have caused me the most trouble is social touching outside of my little family. My siblings and parents didn't touch much outside of sibling fights, and I was all at once used to this isolation and at the same time craving the touch which many people do crave. I don't need as much as other people, but I do need some. So within my small family, there's hugging and kissing and such, but people at my church are big huggers, and this baffles me. I've gotten some very odd reactions to not wanting to hug other women. But I'm sure I never asked them to do it. I find it creepy. Now and then a "sweet" lady who has known me for a while will make me take a hug as though she's doing me some sort of favor in helping me get over myself. I do get sick of the humans who think their way is always right. I do think there are things in the world that are right for everyone. This isn't one of them. And nothing should be forced on someone except the consequences of crime, and I don't know what crime I committed to deserve that old lady's hug.

I don't care for light touches, but I love hugs. :O)