Saying you have AS - making yourself an easy target?

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Greentea
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20 Jan 2009, 11:46 am

Nowadays in most places people don't have the symptoms of AS at their fingertips. They don't know or don't remember them all that well. However, as AS becomes more and more known, more and more people know that one of the symptoms is taking things literally, being blind to subtext and consequently being easily gullible / naive.

So how do you go about the world telling people you have AS? Isn't it risky to inform that one is easily cheated?


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TPE2
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20 Jan 2009, 12:00 pm

"Isn't it risky to inform that one is easily cheated?"

I think it is. I don't know if I have AS, but, even if I reaaly knew that I had AS, I think that I will not tell to anybody, with the exception of some close friends.



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20 Jan 2009, 12:09 pm

Greentea wrote:
So how do you go about the world telling people you have AS?

I don't.

Greentea wrote:
Isn't it risky to inform that one is easily cheated?

Highly.

"Here's my vulnerability; please don't exploit it!"

May as well be a contestant in a wet tee-shirt contest and expect people to look only at your eyes.


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Dokken
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20 Jan 2009, 12:12 pm

i just tell people i'm a pirate


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Greentea
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20 Jan 2009, 12:30 pm

Fnord, I started this thread because you left me thinking the other day with that post. I think you're right. I wouldn't tell anyone I have AS. It'd have to be someone I trusted completely not to tell a soul, and I doubt I'll ever have someone like that in my life again.

Being a woman totally alone, I have to be nuts to go around telling people that I have a condition that makes me blind to what's really going on!


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DeLoreanDude
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20 Jan 2009, 12:38 pm

I dont go telling random people, only people that I trust and are friendly.



Sora
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20 Jan 2009, 12:56 pm

I'm not naive/trusting. But I think it's risky to tell about my AS anyway because:

People equate it with retardation.

Even if you give a lengthy explanation about AS, even if people know you, even if people have lots of written information about ASDs, they equate AS with mental retardation.

That information about your medical condition may be noted down into job/government files without your knowledge.

I'd tell most people I associate with because at one point people always know I'm different or disordered.

But the negatives still outweigh the positives, so I don't.


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DeLoreanDude
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20 Jan 2009, 1:00 pm

Sora wrote:
I'm not naive/trusting. But I think it's risky to tell about my AS anyway because:

People equate it with retardation.

Even if you give a lengthy explanation about AS, even if people know you, even if people have lots of written information about ASDs, they equate AS with mental retardation.

That information about your medical condition may be noted down into job/government files without your knowledge.

I'd tell most people I associate with because at one point people always know I'm different or disordered.

But the negatives still outweigh the positives, so I don't.


If you have a diagnosis then it's already in files. People cant refuse to give you a job etc. coz of Asperger's, that's discrimination. It's not a mental disorder, it's neurological.



Sora
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20 Jan 2009, 2:10 pm

DeLoreanDude wrote:
If you have a diagnosis then it's already in files. People cant refuse to give you a job etc. coz of Asperger's, that's discrimination. It's not a mental disorder, it's neurological.


It is in my medical record. Other institutions do not have access to that information in my country.

And even though I get services from one social office for my AS, the office I work for does absolutely not have access to my file at the other office.

And, no, a disability cannot be the reason for why a job application is rejected. But they won't tell you that, obviously. They'll lie to you.


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Ixtli
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20 Jan 2009, 2:10 pm

I've told only one very close friend whom I know is open-minded, good at keeping secrets, and skeptical of stereotypes and labels; another equally close but more unpredictable friend I've kept in the dark about it. I did this pretty recently so I'm not sure whether I'll regret it, but there don't seem to be any problems so far. I did notice, however, that shortly after I linked him to the wikipedia article on Asperger's Syndrome, he was somewhat more forgiving if I didn't immediately get a joke and he seemed to check more often that I *had* got his jokes. Otherwise, I can't detect any changes.

I agree that most NTs can't be trusted with that sort of knowledge--either they'll exploit you, treat you like an invalid (I had problems with this in high school) or abandon you--but if there's someone especially trustworthy and close to you, and with whom you'd like to discuss very personal things, then I suppose some disclosure is OK.



Padium
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20 Jan 2009, 2:16 pm

Sora wrote:
And, no, a disability cannot be the reason for why a job application is rejected. But they won't tell you that, obviously. They'll lie to you.


Interesting you should say that, as the one job I applied for back when I was 15 actually didn't employ me simply because they knew something was wrong and couldn't explain it. They would have hired me had they have known it was because of a disability that I was like that, and those were their words. They also said they would have hired me for a different position than what they wanted me for initially.



20 Jan 2009, 2:32 pm

I don't tell anyone. Tell people and they get a different view of you and might start assuming you are using it as an excuse or start thinking things you do is because of the AS instead of just because it's you. Also they make false assumptions about you too like what you can or can't do.



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20 Jan 2009, 2:50 pm

I usually don't go out and tell people (unless the subject comes up or something). The one's who do know don't care/treat me different for it.



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20 Jan 2009, 2:58 pm

Personally I want people to both know and accept me for it.



pakled
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20 Jan 2009, 3:14 pm

it's on a 'need to know' basis. So far, only a handful of people have the 'need to know'. Work (for the most part, management particularly) and my parent's don't know.



JetLag
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20 Jan 2009, 4:42 pm

Yes, I think that I am taking a risk whenever I inform someone about my AS, at least risking some uninvited opinions that sometimes show a disappointing lack of knowledge about AS. This is one of the reasons that I, like pakled, confide in only those people who I believe need to know on a need-to-know basis, but I know only a few of those.


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