Hanging out with friends

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This should be an easy decision for me to make.
My friends are going to run around the city taking photos and invited me to come along.
I want to but I have this strong feeling that I shouldn't.
I don't understand why I shouldn't.
It's very poorly organized but I worked out ways that I would cope with that.
My friends live 3 hrs from me, so I'm going to have to come up the night before on train and the next day wait for them to make their minds up of where to meet.
I think my feeling is something bad will happen, like I will have another meltdown. I usually do have one when I go to the city, and after my last one I haven't been back.
I also have feelings like this, not go and then find out that something bad has happened. Like I didn't go to a festival one year and someone at that festival died.
One of my friends is actually my ex who usually ignores me, so I have no idea why he invited me. It's also Valentines Day so why isn't he spending it with his girlfriend?

I wish I could just stop thinking sometimes.

Go neck-deep. There is only one way to push your boundaries and that is to push your boundaries.

I get that feeling a lot when my friends want me to hang out (especially when it's at clubs), but I've yet to regret going against those strong feelings that make no sense.

I've come to the decision that now is not a good time to see my ex. I get angry when I see his pic on Facebook or anywhere. I'll make it up to my other friend.

I get like that when I see pics of someone who recently rejected me.

that's probably a good decision. spending 3hrs on a train, waiting around with no specific plan and no idea when things will happen or what exactly will happen, and then hanging out with your ex who still angers you doesn't sound like a fun experience to me. the first part alone would be enough for me to decide not to go in most situations, meaning unless we were doing something really great or a friend i care about a lot is there i wouldn't go, but at least if there was something/someone to put me at ease and let me enjoy myself i'd be able to get over it quickly. the ex situation just screams meltdown to me.