anyone else NOT looking for a partner?

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are you looking for love?
no, and actively avoiding it 21%  21%  [ 23 ]
no, but I wouldn't mind if it happened 45%  45%  [ 50 ]
yes, passively looking 23%  23%  [ 26 ]
yes, actively looking 10%  10%  [ 11 ]
no, it's just you anna, you asocial weirdo! 2%  2%  [ 2 ]
Total votes : 112

0_equals_true
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23 Mar 2009, 7:49 pm

anna-banana wrote:
back in the days when I myslef was passively looking, I told my friends (who kept pressuring me to find a partner) that even if I did start going out with someone, they would never be informed. (they did get angry about that, but now they no longer ask).

My views on independence and relationships are pretty much the same.



hartzofspace
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25 Mar 2009, 12:39 am

I picked option 2, but sometimes I feel more like if it fell into my lap, I wouldn't mind. After all, I don't know any guys who would tolerate my odd habits of staying up until 3 am, pursuing my obsessions. Or who would understand my sporadic libido that makes me declare myself asexual, because I am not interested at least 75% of the time. Or my need for lots of private space and down time, after socializing. Ah, well...Dream on. :?


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25 Mar 2009, 3:57 am

There was a time when I would say that I prefer to be single, because I have a lot of time to myself, but even when you date you can have some time to yourself.
I'm at that moment where I like someone, and I think he likes me. We talk almost everyday but nothing has happened yet. I'm not even trying to make something happen. I'm not 100% sure if I want to.
I miss being with someone, so I chose 'actively looking'.



Danielismyname
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25 Mar 2009, 4:43 am

Never looked.



Social_Fantom
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25 Mar 2009, 1:48 pm

I'm thinking of giving up. Nothing ever works out when I meet someone. I must not be "relationship" material. One of my problems is probably that I'm too proud to wear the "Alpha Male" mask. I've gotten my hopes up and crushed enough for this lifetime and the next. I'm going to find something more reliable and certain like casinos.


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28 Mar 2009, 11:42 pm

I am interested in meeting new friends and all, but not interested in more than that at this time...

Too many things going on in my life at the moment and it is difficult to maintain an adaptable level of functionality while I 'rolll' with what is currently being thrown my way.



saintloop
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29 Mar 2009, 12:21 pm

I had been actively avoiding it for years. The best years of my life so far. I was absolutely free from family, friends and social pressures about me being in a relation, because I clearly saw it was the best for my life. I could dedicate all my energies to what I liked and discovered a lot of new activities I enjoy.

Last year a nice girl forced me into loving her: I gave up and accepted the trial, because I really liked her. I got to the point of telling her there could be nothing between us for this and that well after I was in love with her, but she didn't give up. I was moved by her confidence and strength of will about us.

Now I can say I was just getting back in hell.

Nonetheless, now that the pain she has caused me is almost over, I am searching a partner... before the partner finds me. :)

Sometimes you simply can't help it, it's out of your control.



reddingcal
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30 Mar 2009, 3:34 am

anna-banana wrote:
seriously though, is it just me? I am 100% serious in actively avoiding relationships, and if I met someone I fell in love with I'd actively try to just forget it and move on. I'm 100% happy being single. and the longer I'm here (on WP) the more I feel like I stand out even on a forum for people who- in theory- are more romantically challenged than the average population.

so- anyone with me on this one?


Most of the time I feel exactly like you do, but I go through weird lonely phases where I feel like I want someone in my life.



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30 Mar 2009, 8:58 am

anna-banana wrote:
I just don't desire to be with someone in a full-time relationship, I can't imagine being comfortable with having someone constantly around.


I agree. I would say that, these days, about a third of the time I feel lonely, and find myself thinking it would be nice to have a relationship, but for the other two thirds, the idea of someone hanging around me making demands on my space, time, thoughts and emotions fills me with absolute horror.



raisedbyignorance
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26 May 2009, 2:42 pm

All of my minor experience in relationships and the like have made me question if I can tell the difference between my feelings for someone and my desire to hang out with someone just to have a life. I feel that all of my relationships were based more on the latter. I'm more about being able to out and do places with a guy then I am about kissing or having to spend every single waking moment with him. (I like my alone time too much that's why I prefer to not get married).

I'm convinced I have no ability to feel affection though that hasn't stop me from developing a few crushes. When I do have a crush though it's easy to convince myself that it's all in good fun and I shouldn't be pursuing someone that I probably will be less interested in if I were in a relationship with them. That's why I prefer being alone. Less work that way. :lol:

I'm also probably one of VERY few girl who also don't mind a one-night stand once in a while (if the guy's hot that is)...heheh, I'm such a whore! 8)



humanoid
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26 May 2009, 3:02 pm

Well, my answer would have to be option #1.
I avoid anything like that. I would much rather be single through out my whole life than be with someone.



jemir1234
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26 May 2009, 3:09 pm

See, not many aspie guys are posting replies on this thread because

1. They have never been in a relationship, so the want it
2.Or they just want to have sex.

Many aspie females, because they are women have the advantage of being in a relatioship and get sick of it, or dont care...Its nothing know to aspie females.

Guys dont know what its like, so they want it.

PS: The Realist Jemir



anna-banana
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26 May 2009, 4:05 pm

jemir1234 wrote:
See, not many aspie guys are posting replies on this thread because

1. They have never been in a relationship, so the want it
2.Or they just want to have sex.

Many aspie females, because they are women have the advantage of being in a relatioship and get sick of it, or dont care...Its nothing know to aspie females.

Guys dont know what its like, so they want it.

PS: The Realist Jemir


not many? I can see loads.


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jemir1234
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26 May 2009, 4:09 pm

anna-banana wrote:
jemir1234 wrote:
See, not many aspie guys are posting replies on this thread because

1. They have never been in a relationship, so the want it
2.Or they just want to have sex.

Many aspie females, because they are women have the advantage of being in a relatioship and get sick of it, or dont care...Its nothing know to aspie females.

Guys dont know what its like, so they want it.

PS: The Realist Jemir


not many? I can see loads.


Oh, my bad, maybe i didnt read all the posts. Guess what....im not going to either because I dont feel like it. and it doesnt change the truth either.



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26 May 2009, 5:43 pm

jemir1234 wrote:
See, not many aspie guys are posting replies on this thread because

1. They have never been in a relationship, so the want it
2.Or they just want to have sex.

Many aspie females, because they are women have the advantage of being in a relatioship and get sick of it, or dont care...Its nothing know to aspie females.

Guys dont know what its like, so they want it.

PS: The Realist Jemir


I think there is some truth in that; I really, really wanted to be in a relationship up until the point when I entered my first relationship, and then broke it off with him 7 months later. It was really great while it lasted, but after it ended I felt a bit disillusioned.

Relationships aren't the romantic fairytales you think they are before you've had one. That being said, although I am not actively out looking for a relationship, I still live in hope that I will one day meet someone who I fall in love with - then I will be actively pursuing that person.


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