Bullying and Feelings

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Hello, I'm 17 and have Autism/Asperger's. I get bullied a lot in School and have my Feelings hurt. It hurts my Feelings because I like Feelings a lot and enjoy talking about and expressing my Feelings. Is that ever a bad thing or is it a great thing? Do more kids need to talk about their Feelings? It seems most Autistic kids are different with their feelings but do other kids need to understand that?



I've had kids bully me and tell me they hope it hurts my Feelings cause I care so much about Feelings.



This all take place in School and they don't punish cause they don't see it and they say I shouldn't be so sensitve to my Feelings.

Never show your bullies they are hurting your feelings. Act all tough and act like you don't care. Don't ever let them see you cry or let them see you get upset, don't ever act all angry. Act like you don't care and hide your hurt feelings from them.


Showing a bully your hurt feelings gives them more power to be mean to you because they know they are getting to you.

Teenagers can be terrible. Schoolkids (especially the more popular ones) tend to have an almost visceral need to attack what is perceived at different or "weak". While being able to be in touch with your feelings and vulnerability is a strength, in that age-group it might be perceived as a weakness. Teenagers are always trying to be cool and nonchalant, and they will exclude anyone not playing that "game".

Don't lose your ability of being in touch with your feelings, but do make a strong attempt not to make hurt feelings so openly known when people are deliberately trying to hurt you. I imagine that the more you make your hurt feelings known, the more they bullies will be spurred into upsetting you. It is the nature of a bully - they thrive on others' weakness because it masks their own shortfalls. Sometimes kids will say nasty things just to get a rise/reaction out of others. Sometimes they will do it to make someone feel bad about themselves. Sometimes they will do it for the sheer power of knowing they can and amusing others.

While many people grow up and regret having teased others, it is part of life and part of growing up. I am NT, yet teenage years were tough on me too - it is typical everywhere and with everyone. This is part of all adolescent/teenage development. No matter how bad it gets, try to think of something happy when you are feeling hurt. I know it seems impossible, but please make an effort to not take everything they say literally or personally. Sometimes the reason people are nasty is to hide their own insecurities.

Remember that although this feels interminable, it is just a stage. These are some of the hardest years of growing up and within time this type of thing will be over. The most important thing in coping with this is your "self-talk". It is important. Be happy with yourself, remind yourself when you are alone what a great person you are. When you feel good about yourself, you know that it makes no difference what anyone says - you are perfect just as you are! And each one of us is - we just have to recognize it and live life like we believe it.

When we believe it, and walk with confidence, others begin to believe it too. Best wishes!

I think bullies are bullies because they need to have control and power over someone else, maybe due to feeling like they lack those things in another aspect of life and feel insecure about it. If you make it easy for them you'll become the "path of least resistance" to them. This, however, isn't your fault or your problem: you don't owe them any control over you, so don't give them any.

Because they're looking for a path of least resistance, bullies are deceptively easy to turn aside. They may try to hang on to you as their path of least resistance, but don't go for it. Show them you have power even once and they'll remember it. (I won't say how, that's up to you) In the end, you'll probably be doing them a favor anyway if you manage to deter them from a behavior pattern that can continue and deepen into adulthood. (i.e. using external things to deal with feeling your life is out of control can lead to substance abuse, violence, etc.)

I was bullied from 3rd grade through 8th and after 8th switched to an all girls high school. During that time life was miserable. I would go play with the first graders during recess or lunch or help teachers to avoid the playground and bullies. I cried alot.

In 9th grade I knew I wanted to fit in so I cut my hair like the style that was popular. I started to wear makeup, pluck my eyebrows and since I had a part time job, I was able to buy casual clothes. We wore uniforms so if I bought popular shoes and socks, I fit in with the way I looked. The bullies in grade school were mostly boys. In high school there were popular kids but I stayed away from them. I had nothing in common with them at all since they liked to smoke weed and drink. I had one friend and that was all I needed.

Just one month ago one of the boy bullies from the 4th grade found me on facebook and sent me a provocative email saying Remember me kitten, you look hot. Well, I told him I remembered him and that he was the guy who would pull up my skirt on the playground. He thought it was funny so I guess he didn't know how mean he was or how it made me feel.

He invited me for dinner and I declined.

The bullies stay behind you as you get older you have more choices of friends, places you go, the work you do. At work they can't bully you because HR has rules of things you cannot do in the work place. Most people are pretty nice. If you're lucky you can get a job working in a cubicle so you will have your own space anyway.

i was bullied from 3rd grade to 8th grade.
i was teased quite a bit during that time. particular during grade 5 and 6.
but after that it stopped. don't know why, don't care.

i agree with the below.

CMaximus

I think bullies are bullies because they need to have control and power over someone else, maybe due to feeling like they lack those things in another aspect of life and feel insecure about it. If you make it easy for them you'll become the "path of least resistance" to them. This, however, isn't your fault or your problem: you don't owe them any control over you, so don't give them any.