family making fun of myself and disabled people

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my family thinks its funny to make fun of me like saying hurtful things like tard or stupid they also make fun of other people that are disabled truly like physical or mental

Maybe just go along with it, if they're joking its not so bad, if they do start getting really hurtful, give them a mouthfull.

Thats a bad plan going along with it only makes it seem more acceptable. I'd suggest talking to them. Start with the person you're most comfortable with and see how it goes.

Find an immortal, make them give you the power of Geass, then use it to make your family your slaves forever.

Lol, just kidding. Your best bet would be to tell them that you really don't appreciate comments like this. Also, just to clarify, which part of your family is this? Parents? Grandparents? Aunts and uncles? Siblings? Cousins?

I mean if it's your parents responsible there's not much you can do, short of calling Child Services (because technically this would be emotional abuse), but if it's a cousin or other more distant relation, you might be able to inform their parents or jsut simply estrange yourself from them.

Yeah, some of my cousins can be racist or make fun of disabled people at times, and these days I give them a mouthful if they do it in my presence. When I was younger I was a lot less sure of myself, and afraid they'd turn on me if I spoke out.

All I can say is that's why I found WP - to look for a safe place with like minds (literally). I've had friends and family make fun of me my entire life for being a "airhead" or "spacecase". When I finally was dxed with AS and began to explain it to them, they just laughed harder - especially when I try to explain its relation to Autism.

It doesn't get easier...in fact, at 44 when I'm with my family and old friends, they still consider me the "slacker" and butt of all jokes - even though I've overcome a lot and am actually relatively successful. (More so than most of them!)

But learning about AS has helped my self esteem and in fact, makes me feel a wee bit superior to those NT's.

And as you get older, you make new friends who "fit" you better - AS or not.

I can remember when I was 3, and I was fascinated by the piano player at my(disastrous) dancing lessons. My mother came up and forcibly carried me away and told me I didn't talk with those people! I was three, but I strongly remembered thinking that my mother was just wrong! Needless to say, after years and years of hearing my folks denigrate 'those people' and having it reinforced by my school teachers (don't eat paper, "those people" SPIT into the wood pulp that is made into paper) and in my town ("Lately reports from ACROSS THE TRACKS" and we all new 'those people' had to live over there) I lost my initial objectivity and believed what I was taught.

(side note: when I hear people laugh at the idea of 'politically correct' I just sigh, because I know what it was like before political correctness.)

I was so rabid a racist by the time I was in high school, I was made a 'project' of a wonderful Quaker girl. She was so friendly (no pun intended) and so patient with me, introduced me to people I had no idea even existed and through them I met 'those people' in person. I met disabled people and stopped calling them gimps and cripples, I met people with mental retardation and stopped calling them "morons", I met Chinese, no longer 'chinks' and Vietnamese were no longer 'gooks'. Gentle persuasion helped me realize my initial sense of justice I had had so long ago in dancing school. I was changed for life and am forever grateful to that young Quaker girl.

You can just imagine what it was like to be aware of my family's opinion and of those I lived around and finally, in my 18th year, I struggled for freedom (literally, because my parents had finally put me into the mental institution and I literally 'escaped') and ran away to an art and music fair in upstate New York that they had moved from Woodstock to a farm outside of Bethel, New York.

And several times I wished I could hold the prevailing opinions of the times, but my mind had been stretched, and it didn't contract back into ignorance.

Merle

It's really easy to make fun of people, no matter who they are.

It's just insecurity on their part, and telling of who they are.

It is easy to belittle that which you do not understand.

Merle, your story is fascinating. God bless that Quaker girl.

My family was never obvious or obtuse enough for blatant insults like "tard" but a baby sitter used to call me "dummy" all the time. She was only the baby sitter tho and I threw lots of fits about having to go so I got to stay at home by myself while my mom worked all day. This was during the summer while school was out. During the school year I was at school, of course.
Instead, family members were more subtle with their insults. My mother was a master at condescension and a patronizing tone of voice. She didn't call me a 'tard'. Instead, she talked to me like I was one. She was very indirect. Other family members would criticize me, ditch me, shun me or avoid me. They would ridicule my interests and disagree with me. My mother would then blame me and tell me to 'stop bickering'.
Usually, when I went to visit my cousins, I left home (they lived a good two hour drive away) enthusiastically only to agonize about having to stay a short time later.
It just wasn't a fun time.

Sad, but true. I am guilty of this myself. But I can sympathize with iamspecial300, in a sense. I grew up with an uncle who was mentally ret*d due to a severe childhood illness. It hurt ME when people would make fun of him, and even though he left this world three years ago, I would not disrespect the disabled in such a way. I had a single "moment of weakness" in that time, and afterwards, I swore to never do it again. Because I did understand.....and knew better.

If it hurts like your post indicates, I think your family NEEDS to know that. This being said, I agree with trickie - start with someone you are comfortable with and trust. And if all else fails...

Make sure some form of protective services is available (by phone or in person) and then carry out a one-person intervention on the lot of them. Make it very clear how you feel, and that you consider it ABUSE (because in my opinion, that is EXACTLY what it is!)

Always takes the edge of stuff when you can laugh about things. Make fun of the person too, who's making fun of you.

Things were a lot better before political correctness: There was a lot more decency, instead all the namby-pamby, bleeding-heart muck which has destroyed society now.


I dislike those terms too, as Asians are OK. In Asia, that is. They should not be allowed to invade our country, as they've been doing for the last twenty years. I am sick and tired of seeing them doing unskilled work at the shopping centre down the road, when I have had my working hours drastically reduced. And I have had a gutsful of waiting in the heat for buses which are ten minutes late, whilst some African "refugee" zooms past in a late-model car.

So you can understand that I hate political correctness with a passion. Why should "n****r" be reduced to "the N-word"? It's not a swear word! People get away with calling me "psycho", "ret*d" and "schizo", and no-one refers to those as "P-word" etc, do they? Tell you what, everyone who looks obviously foreign, or ret*d, gets cut a hell of a lot of slack.

Things were never "better". It's all an illusion. They aren't better now. They pretty much stay the same only with different pretenses.

this verbal and emotional abuse. it is not your fault. your family is abusive.