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CockneyRebel
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26 Dec 2005, 1:07 am

How many Toronto Star Editors does it take to change a Lightbulb?

A. 100. They only have 1 IQ point each, the average IQ is 100, and they each only have 1/100th of a heart.

Does anybody else have any good Lightbulb Jokes?



Neuroman
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26 Dec 2005, 1:54 am

How many social workers does it take to change a lightbulb?

One, but it has to want to change.

None. We've learned to deal with our darkness.

Let's form a committe and do research to find out.


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26 Dec 2005, 2:58 am

How many Union workers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Not my job.


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Asparval
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26 Dec 2005, 4:49 am

How many aspies does it take to change a lightbulb?

It really depends on a number of factors but given that the lightbulb in question actually needs changing; and that there is a spare lightbulb in the house; and that both the old and new lightbulbs are easily accessable then one should suffice.

In the instance that a new lightbulb needs purchasing and that the first person is too engrosed in level 12 of Farcry to go to the shop a second person may be deployed. However, given that aspies are often solitary creatures there is no guarentee that the second person is also AS and the aspie may sometimes rely on a family member to purchase the lightbulb.

Time is also a factor and if there is plenty of alternative ambient light the said lighbulb may even not be changed at all.



rearden
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26 Dec 2005, 5:10 am

Asparval wrote:
How many aspies does it take to change a lightbulb?

It really depends on a number of factors but given that the lightbulb in question actually needs changing; and that there is a spare lightbulb in the house; and that both the old and new lightbulbs are easily accessable then one should suffice.

In the instance that a new lightbulb needs purchasing and that the first person is too engrosed in level 12 of Farcry to go to the shop a second person may be deployed. However, given that aspies are often solitary creatures there is no guarentee that the second person is also AS and the aspie may sometimes rely on a family member to purchase the lightbulb.

Time is also a factor and if there is plenty of alternative ambient light the said lighbulb may even not be changed at all.


There are 37 light bulbs in the house, which one are you referring to? ... Well, you didn't specify the "burned out" light bulb, how was I to know? What wattage bulb do you want to use for the replacement? ... What do you mean by "the bright kind"? 100 watts? Are you sure the fixture is rated for that? ... What do you mean "I'll &$#%&%$ change it myself", you just asked me to do it 10 seconds ago!?



Neuroman
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26 Dec 2005, 5:39 am

rearden wrote:
There are 37 light bulbs in the house, which one are you referring to? ... Well, you didn't specify the "burned out" light bulb, how was I to know? What wattage bulb do you want to use for the replacement? ... What do you mean by "the bright kind"? 100 watts? Are you sure the fixture is rated for that? ... What do you mean "I'll &$#%&%$ change it myself", you just asked me to do it 10 seconds ago!?
ROFLOL! This is why no one asks me to fix anything! Or they ask me to fix it and run away....


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Remnant
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26 Dec 2005, 5:40 am

How many animal rights activists does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You only get one light bulb. When it dies, you're not allowed to replace it.



Neuroman
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26 Dec 2005, 5:42 am

How many lawyers does it take to change a lightbulb?

You can't get a lawyer to change a light bulb. However, if you are looking for a lawyer to screw a light bulb...


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Neuroman
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26 Dec 2005, 5:44 am

Not a lightbulb joke exactly....

A lawyer was on his cell phone, calling a locksmith.

"I locked my keys in my sports car!" said the nervous lawyer.

"No problem, I should be there in about an hour," replied the locksmith.

"Do you think you can make it a little sooner?" pleaded the lawyer. "My top is down and it?s starting to rain."


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Cade
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26 Dec 2005, 10:43 am

How many trumpet players does it take to replace a light bulb?

5 - one to screw it in, and four other to stand around and say how much better they could have done.



How many rock drummers does it take to replace a light bulb?

10 - one to screw it in, and nine others to stand around and say howmuch better Neil Peart would have done it.



Papillon
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26 Dec 2005, 11:06 am

How many chiropracters does it take to change a light bulb?

It only takes one, but it's done in dozens of visits and it's very expen$ive.


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26 Dec 2005, 2:22 pm

How many partiers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Eleven. one to hold the bulb and tent o drink 'till the room spins.

How many surrealists does it take to change a lightbulb?
Two, one to hold the giraffe and one to put the clocks in the bathtub.

How many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?
How many do YOU think it takes?

How many narcissists does it take to change a light bulb?
One, he holds the bulb while the world revolves around him.

How many surrealists does it take to change a lightbulb?
To get to the other side.

How many software speacialists does it take to change a lightbub?
None, that's a hardware problem.

How many dyslexics does it change to take a lighbulb?

((This one, you have to tell verbally, but I'm giving you the power here- second best light bulb joke ever.))

How many women with PMS does it take to chaneg a light bulb?
twelve.
((Wait till the person asks why twelve, then yell)):
IT JUST DOES OK???

And I cannot post the best light bulb joke ever in this forum. I will post it in the mature forum under dirty joks momentarily. :D ((it's not THAT bad, but still risque))



Neuroman
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26 Dec 2005, 2:45 pm

Serissa wrote:
How many surrealists does it take to change a lightbulb?
Two, one to hold the giraffe and one to put the clocks in the bathtub.

How many surrealists does it take to change a lightbulb?
To get to the other side.

How many software speacialists does it take to change a lightbub?
None, that's a hardware problem.

How many dyslexics does it change to take a lighbulb?

How many women with PMS does it take to chaneg a light bulb?
twelve.
((Wait till the person asks why twelve, then yell)):
IT JUST DOES OK???
I love these! ROFLOL!
I am off to the mature forum, but first I will finally post my Serissa knock knock joke!


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Sean
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26 Dec 2005, 2:54 pm

How many soviets does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to stand in line for the ladder, one to stand in line for the lightbulb, and one ready to stand in line for the other two in the event that toilet paper becomes available.



vetivert
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26 Dec 2005, 3:22 pm

how many witches does it take to change a lightbulb?
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into what?