Has anyone ever not been bullied?

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Jacob12
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08 Mar 2009, 3:40 pm

Most of us have at one time or another, but was anyone not?



gina-ghettoprincess
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08 Mar 2009, 3:48 pm

I have been so used to being bullied, that starting secondary school and suddenly NOT being bullied seemed highly weird and unnatural! But then it started again, though in a very different way. Less violence, more bitchiness.


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Tahitiii
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08 Mar 2009, 4:26 pm

First reaction: Pffft. There's a thread that will never get a response.
No point in even clicking on the name of the topic.

Half-hour later: Well, then again...

Yes. I've been in situations that were not abusive. You have to either find a place that will respect you or find a way to control everything. Some rare administrators have the talent for keeping everything going without dumping on the weakest members of the group. The smaller the school or company or group, the more likely they are to find a way to avoid creating that toxic culture.

I started to google "Missouri charter high school," but that's not too helpful, since I don't know where you live. Have you looked at any technical schools or magnet schools? Think fast. The deadline for applications for September might already be past.



twoshots
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08 Mar 2009, 10:01 pm

Ah they tried, but I was so clueless I didn't notice, and so guileless they couldn't go *too* far. My infectious charm strikes again.


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gemstone123
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09 Mar 2009, 2:34 pm

No but there have been one or two incidences of the usual either idiotic or just plain nasty people. I would say that I've been quite lucky.



Shadowgirl
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20 Mar 2009, 8:52 am

I could only wish I wasn't.



GeomAsp
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20 Mar 2009, 11:04 am

Well, for me it started in 8th grade, and ended the last day of highschool. One guy or another, in many different ways. In college it was ok most of the time, but at the end there was someone i had to work with, and he made my life miserable.

I almost forget, i wasn't bullied in college, but there were 2 or 3 girls who used me like an idiot, in order to get good grades in math.



NauticalCa
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20 Mar 2009, 3:35 pm

I was brutally bullied for as long as I can remember.

The interesting thing about the bullying was that it changed in nature over time; it started out as physical bullying, then emotional bullying, and then later passive-aggressive, manipulative bullying. Not sure what that says about people and how they never really grow up, but more how people have such low tolerance for people who don't fit the norm and how that continues to be the case well into adulthood.


My problem has been that everywhere I've gone, I've felt like a fish out of the water. I was in a Gifted program and was the target of being bullied in that program (imagine being in a Gifted program and being the subject of bullying -- add onto that being the outcast within the outcasts!) quite often. I felt socially isolated and terribly lonely. I couldn't understand why I couldn't get in sync with other people socially. I really wanted to fit in somewhere and just be accepted for who I was, not what other people thought I should be. I was told constantly how "weird" and "strange" I was, and how I spoke as if I was an adult at the age of eight. I had the vocabulary of a 25-year-old university graduate by the time I was 14.

To be fair, I blame myself for a lot of what happened. I was being sent to psychologists and therapists for years because my parents, as much as they loved me, had quite honestly no idea what they were doing. Neither of them were Gifted or had much education, so they were inexperienced in handling a Gifted/undiagnosed Aspie (this was the 80's, so no one had a clue what Asperger's was). I think that contributed to feeling like I was somehow bad, malformed, unsuitable for the world because I had no place in it. So the natural and immature route was to a) act defiant and rigid at home and school, b) say and do things that were socially inappropriate because I didn't know any better, and c) being by myself a lot. I sometimes think I should have tried harder to get myself out there, but when I did, things rarely worked out for me.

Same deal with high school and university: I was never really totally accepted anywhere at either. Work life has been hard too. I feel like I'm always on the losing end of office politics and I've been bullied by bosses. I've learned to stand up for myself a lot more since university and work life, but it's still hard.

I've tried to not be bitter about all of it, but it's hard sometimes. You don't want to let pain eat you up. But I have a photographic memory and I honestly remember so many bad things that have happened. It makes you profoundly sad to go through life as if you're just not acceptable of how the NT world thinks. It's a constant battle in your mind to think of the good.

Bullying is the worst, especially when you have no "safe place" either.



desmonami
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21 Mar 2009, 1:04 pm

No, i have never been bullied, ever. Though it would be pretty difficult for my peers to attempt to bully me as i am pretty much taller than all of them.



JezusBeer
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26 Mar 2009, 1:06 pm

Yes, constantly, even while in my teens i was being bullied, by my so called "friends", and by teens i mean 13 - 19. I know now they were just using me, but at the time i felt bad friends, are better than no friends.... You just can't win.



TheKingsRaven
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26 Mar 2009, 2:02 pm

I haven't had any real bullies since I finished primary school, minor cases in the beginning of secondary school but that soon stopped.



hester386
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26 Mar 2009, 10:17 pm

I used to be bullied all the way through middle school and high school. Not good times.



greenlandgem
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27 Mar 2009, 11:01 am

desmonami wrote:
No, i have never been bullied, ever. Though it would be pretty difficult for my peers to attempt to bully me as i am pretty much taller than all of them.


My experience was similar to this. Tall, proportionate - I'm a tall adult and I've grown less than an inch since I was twelve. I always had an athletic build and just looked older, so even when girls would try to "bully" me (although it was more like teasing, not so serious) I was apparently quite intimidating. Since I had, em, odd social skills, I would never know how to respond to the mock flirting of the boys, for instance, and I would just give them a blank stare of incomprehension that, I was told much later, scared the bejesus out of most people. After the first year of highschool I was pretty much left alone, although I was lucky to have a great little group of quirky friends. :) I was also the "smart one" which I think made a lot of the other kids feel pretty uncomfortable around me. Personification of the "little professor".

So, I guess my answer is that I've "kinda" been bullied, but nothing I ever took to heart or that hurt me. Although I must say that I think I was very lucky of my physical size - I suspect that if I had been smaller highschool would have been much different.



DNForrest
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27 Mar 2009, 10:56 pm

desmonami wrote:
No, i have never been bullied, ever. Though it would be pretty difficult for my peers to attempt to bully me as i am pretty much taller than all of them.


Same here. I was fairly thoroughly bullied for being skinny and smart in middle school, but then I hit my growth spurt and broke the six foot mark by age 14. Almost all bullying stopped there. I remember one of the last attempts to bully me was a former aggressor trying to trip me while I walked past him, he was about 8 inches shorter than me and at least 60lbs lighter, so I just kicked his feet out from under him and acted like he hadn't tried to do anything. That was a happy moment.



AlMightyAl
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28 Mar 2009, 2:12 am

I got hit by this kid one time. This kid always bullied me. Right there and then I knew I wasn't going to take any more of his s**t. I chased him halfway across the town screaming at him. Haha.
Lets just say he didn't mess with me again.